Dear Batman Goatee Guy,
You are either a really serious Batman fan or have an excellent sense of humor or both. You’re handy with a razor and possess the ability to grow thick, lustrous facial hair. I’m not sure what else I could ever want in a man. Do you have a date for the midnight showing of “The Dark Knight Rises” yet? Because I am definitely available. [Buzzfeed]
Dear Abnormally Long Chin Hair,
We’ve been intimately acquainted since I first noticed you my sophomore year of high school. I looked in the mirror one day before school and was horrified to find a thick whisker protruding from my chin. I might have cried.
Growing up, I’d watched my mom curse her Mediterranean genes as she plucked the dark hairs from around her mouth, and I’d seen similar whiskers dotted along the jawline of my 90-year-old great grandmother as she gnawed on Parmesan rinds in her favorite recliner by the fireplace. I thought you were an indicator of my destiny, so I plucked you and set the tweezers on the counter dejectedly. No use putting them away since I’d probably have a full beard tomorrow… Keep reading »
Print this out and keep it in your wallet. You can never be too prepared! (Click here to see larger image.) [The Bold Italic]
It must be difficult for the menfolk to figure out just how long to keep their sideburns. Too long, and they risk being mistaken for a member of a mid-’90s modern rock band. Too short, and we’ll assume you’ve been locked away in your parent’s basement with only your World of Warcraft to keep your warm. This genius chart will hopefully clear things up for the uninitiated. [Shmitten Kitten]
Movember is over (thank GOD), so now, says Olay, it’s time for us ladies to put our facial hair to the test. In partnership with the National Breast Cancer Foundation, they’ve introduced Defember, a pledge to defuzz your upper lip this month. If you take the pledge on Olay’s site, they’ll donate a dollar to the foundation. Okay, okay, we’re into it, but don’t expect us to start referring to our upper lip fuzz as our “misstaches” as Olay is advising. That’s just crazy talk. [Olay Facebook]
While October is devoted to raising awareness for breast cancer, November is all about the gentlemen. During the month of November, or “Movember,” as the Movember Foundation likes to call it, men around the world will grow the kind of facial hair many of us see as gross, cheesy, and porn star-esque for a good cause. (“Mo” is slang for mustache in Australia, where Movember started, originally with the sole goal of bringing back the mustache.) Their aim is to raise awareness about prostate cancer and other cancers that specifically affect men. We’ve assembled a wide array of some of our favorite celeb ‘staches for your mouth-tickling enjoyment. Click through for the very best.
Hulk Hogan’s facial hair can just as well double as head hair, as illustrated in this rather disturbing Photoshopped illustration. It’s called Moustair, and Hulk is hardly the only celeb whose facial hair has multiple applications. In fact, there’s a whole website devoted to the cause. [Moustair]
“I actually don’t [encourage the mustache]. It’s not gonna grow … I mean, it needs a little more time. You’ve gotta commit. You can’t just be like, ‘All right, let me just do a little one.’”
—Selena Gomez reveals on SiriusXM that she isn’t loving maybe-boyfriend Justin Bieber‘s new facial hair. On March 5th, he tweeted (his lack of punctuation, not ours), “Im not shaving for a month so you all can see my mustache.. im pumped.” Hopefully Selena’s lack of pumpitude will not be too much of an issue. [People] Keep reading »
Have you guys heard of Movember? In 2003 in Melbourne, Australia, a few friends decided to grow out their facial hair for the month of November to draw attention to men’s health issues. Their humble, hairy plan: that their mustaches could “change the face of men’s health” and maybe they could raise a few bucks along the way. Today, hundreds of thousands of men around the world participate by vowing to put down their razors for the entire month and round up donations from friends. Last year, all those mustaches, goatees, and neckbeards were able to raise $42 million to fund prostate cancer research. Not bad, huh?
With all these extra beards and mustaches cropping up, I’m curious: How do you feel about facial hair? Do you prefer your man clean-shaven, fully bearded, or somewhere in between? And if you’re not usually a fan of beards, would you make an exception for charity facial hair? And after the jump, check out what the ladies of Asylum think of Movember. Keep reading »
I always wanted to grow a mustache. Fearsome pimp whiskers. To me, the mustache is to masculinity what long, flowing tresses are to femininity. Aphrodite’s long hair was the source of her sexual authority, which she’d comb while sitting inside her pet oyster “Chester.” Aries, God of the pointy phallus and the shield, wore a ‘stache no doubt soaked in the blood of a minotaur. This ideal was implanted in me at a young age. Growing up, there were three men who defined manliness. To a little kid, being manly was being a hero. Not that a woman or a girl couldn’t be a hero, but it was more likely that I grew up to be a man who helped those in need than a woman who would help those in need. Keep reading »