So, last night I had a date with a guy who showed up with mutton chops. Three weeks ago he did not have them. And now he does.* Sigh.

The man who can pull off exaggerated sideburns is a rare breed, but it seems, guys really like to go for it several times in their life. Looking back, I recall with dismay two boyfriends who decided to grow mutton chops, plus a handful of male friends who had surprised me with new facial ‘dos after not seeing them for a while. Commenting on it, of course, is inevitable, and always met by the question, “Yeah, do you like it?” “Ummm ... interesting.” In a way, you can’t blame them. Girls have so many more styling options, and if I were a guy, I’d probably get bored and frustrated with my look. I’m just not sure I’d turn myself into Colonel Mustard. You know how in women’s fashion, we always talk about “dressing for guys” and “dressing for girls”? Is this the male equivalent? Do any ladies find mutton chops hot?

*For the record, the date was splendid—disliking a guy’s facial hair situation wouldn’t change the way I really feel about him.

Seriously, what is it with guys and their annual beard-growing fascination? (Maybe it’s for Movember?) Doesn’t it seem like they do it just to prove they can, rather than to change their look? David Beckham is now sporting a beard which he started growing during a camping trip with his kids and he then “got carried away,” he tells the Guardian. The British newspaper, however, hates Beckham’s beard, not just a little bit, but quite a lot.

[Author’s Note: This DailyCandy story was an April Fool’s joke, which I fell for. Dammit!]

Finally, something hipster beards are good for: the five o’clock shadow exfoliation.

August Duben, owner and aesthetician at Spa Opilovat in Williamsburg, Brooklyn charges $125 for an exfoliating treatment in which he rubs his beard against a client’s skin. The catch is that August only performs this service on Mondays and Thursdays, when his stubble is at its stubbliest.

If some dude rubbing his chin against you for a Benjamin sounds dodgy, there’s always the $36 Bliss Lemon + Sage Body Scrub. After a couple beers, you could definitely get a hipster to rub his beard on you for free. [DailyCandy]

They may need to change Hollywood to Holly Woods after the man-beasts of Tinseltown showed some serious scruff at last night’s Golden Globes. From lumberjack-like beards to “Johnny Be Good” side burns, I bet there was more hair on hunky faces than bush on starlets’ va-jay-jays. And some of the whiskers were seriously sexy! Here are our facial hair highlights from the Golden Globes.

While us gals are pulling on tights and wrapping scarves around our necks to warm ourselves during the cold months, guys can get nature to help by growing out their facial hair. We’re big believers in scruff, but sometimes guys like to get a little experimental. After all, for them, facial hair is like an accessory. If your boyfriend has stopped shaving in hopes that he’ll have a woolly beard in a few weeks, check out the facial hair of Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Adrian Brody below so you can provide some guidance. Or just look at the manly faces and drool.

If you have a thing for guys with facial hair, specifically beards, you should have been in Bavaria last weekend. The International German Beard Championships had 127 men from six countries competing for awards in 17 categories, including best natural beard and best Dali-style mustache. The men paraded their facial hair in front of a panel of judges, and much like a beauty pageant, it took some hours to get ready—one competitor admitted to spending four or five hours grooming for the event. Check out this slideshow of some noteworthy participants to find your new bearded crush. [Spiegel]

Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is attractive in a way that feels a little dirty, but the facial hair he sports on the cover of Details’ Holiday Issue has us feeling a tad sick. We’re all for the rugged mountain man beard and even the occasional hipster/fireman/cowboy ‘stache, but sparse and oily hair bits scattered around an otherwise gorgeous mug is a mistake we hope only one hottie is making—so tell us, Frisky girls, have you seen guys sporting this unfortunate look in your ‘hood? [Details]