Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
Tag Archives: facebook
About two years ago I moved far away from home to pursue a master’s degree. During that time, I went home on a few occasions, and each time invited a group of girls who I consider my best friends out to catch up. I sent them the occasional e-mails and texts, but with so much studying, I was unable to call or send out lengthy updates with much frequency. When I went home this past time, the weather was really bad and I got snowed in, making it impossible to attend a get-together we had planned. I tried to organize separate meetings with all of them, but they basically seemed too busy to meet before I went back. Fast forward to present: I was doing some “Facebook browsing” and noticed my friend said something to the effect of “My fiance and I” blah blah blah…. I knew she was dating someone, but I had NO IDEA she was engaged. Well, a few days later I got an email from her telling me to save the date for their wedding. I emailed back, congratulating her and asking about the engagement details. Apparently they had gotten engaged back in April (it’s August!) and she neglected to tell me. I feel very disconnected now; I know we’re all busy with work, school, careers, etc. and it’s not like I was the only one not in contact regularly (it works both ways, right?). Am I in the wrong for not sending them lengthy updates or making more of an effort? Is it irrational for me to be angry that I wasn’t told about something as important as that? Do I say that I’m upset or just accept that we’re probably all “growing apart”? — Out of the Loop or Out of Friends
My best friend of three years recently sent me a Facebook message out of the blue telling me that she no longer wishes to be friends, or in contact, with me. Her reasoning was that being friends with me causes her “too much stress” and she has been thinking about it “for the last two months.” The two examples she gave of me causing her stress were when I got annoyed at her at a party (when she was being rude to the host) and when I got angry at her for, at the last second, choosing to go to a job over helping me move (she told me that if I wanted her help, I would have to pay her $200!). These were two small fights that we had already discussed and (I thought) had resolved. But she told me that I should no longer contact her, and even dis-invited me to a party she’s throwing. We had plans to travel abroad over winter vacation, and she was going to come to my family’s Thanksgiving this year (for the third year in a row). Why continue making plans with me if you’re thinking of dropping me as a friend? Some of our mutual friends have hypothesized that because she and her first serious boyfriend are still in the “honeymoon period” where everything is all roses and sugar, maybe she’s rejecting any relationship that isn’t “perfect” in her mind. I had a lot of problems with depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies when I was younger, and basically had no real friendships until around the time I met her, and her behavior is triggering some of those old feelings. I have no idea how to handle this if she refuses to even speak to me. — Confused, Hurt, and Betrayed
I once stalked a woman I had gone on one date with the old-fashioned way – I stared at her from a distance in a public park. Judge me if you must, but as the ancient rhyme goes: I am mirrored underwear, you are laser gun. Whatever you say reflects off of me and shoots you in the face. Technology has turned us all into stalkers. That moment where I found myself sitting on a park bench and staring at a couple oblivious to my probing gaze happened before Facebook. The only difference between stalking now and then is pants. During the Dark Ages before social media sites began broadcasting a million pleas for attention, pants were a necessity. Otherwise, I would certainly have been arrested. Keep reading »
Over at Asylum, the dudes are waxing on a topic we’ve covered quite a bit here at The Frisky — whether or not you should stay Facebook friends with an ex. So what’s the dude perspective? They’ve come up with 10 reasons why you should keep the lines of communication open, at least on the social networking site:
When your girlfriend gives you the dreaded “Let’s just be friends”-speech, don’t overreact. Many guys, in a fit of anger, would proceed to burn every other bridge linking he and his newly minted ex, including deleting her from his list of friends on Facebook. This course of action is a mistake. Put on your “Bruce Willis”-face and remember these 10 reasons for keeping up cyber-appearances. Whether or not you take these directives seriously is, of course, entirely up to you.
When it comes to my long-distance girlfriends, I know what it takes to keep those relationships tight despite the years and the miles apart: a willingness to pick up the phone. If we’re not having heart-to-hearts once in a while — say, every couple of months — then I’m not feeling like the connection is all that. A good, long chat between two girlfriends is like sex is to a couple, and if a relationship doesn’t get fed, it’s going to starve to death.
But the truth is, these days I feel like my closest ladies are starving me and I’m starving them. I’m not sure whether to blame our busy lives or the fact that technology has zapped all the intimacy out of communication and also keeps us too busy for the real thing. I’m talking to you, Facebook. Keep reading »