My disdain, nay, my utter revulsion for James Franco is well documented on this site. But it seems that there is a dark horse waiting in the wings, ready to pry the douche-prize right out of Franco’s well-oiled hands. Yes, Shia LaBeouf, who today, it was revealed, quit a play in which he was to costar with Alec Baldwin. Not only did LaBeouf unceremoniously quit due to “creative differences” with the director (which is a nice way of saying he was difficult), but LaBeouf then proceeded to tweet out apologies to Baldwin for leaving the production. Sweet, right? Except the apology was lifted directly from a 2009 Esquire article entitled “How To Be A Man.”
“A man can tell you he was wrong. That he did wrong. That he planned to. He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologize, even if sometimes it’s just to put an end to the bickering.” wrote LaBeouf, I mean Esquire’s Tom Chiarella.
So let’s take a look and compare LaBeouf’s encroaching doucheiness to Franco’s well-established d-bag card.
A bright lip may be the ubiquitous summer makeup look, but there’s also a time and a place for a flattering nude — that is, any time, any place. InStyle Magazine hosted their 11th Annual Summer Soiree in Hollywood last night, and many of the cover girls and other sartorially inclined ladies hit the red carpet sporting glossy my-lips-but-better looks paired with simple black eyeliner. Elisha Cuthbert veered on the natural side of the style with darkly defined eyes and a caramel-toned gloss, while Mena Suvari went the mod way with a satiny muted pink lipstick, a thin stroke of liquid liner, and thick lashes (not to mention one of the most kickass haircuts I’ve ever seen). Now, I love both of these looks, and Mena and Elisha are both beyond glowy and gorgeous; it’s just a matter of preference … so who do you think looks better nude? (Mena for me — I adore a good updated ’60s-inspired look, and the amazing hair seals the deal.)
It’s gotta be hard out here for a Victoria’s Secret Angel, having to stay so damn sexy all the time. I, for one, could never pull it off, especially when you consider that things like ice cream cake and Tate’s cookies exist. Regardless (now I’m all thinking about food and stuff), the Angels have a hallmark beauty look that consists of some pretty basic elements, advertised here by Candice Swanepoel and Bregje Heinen: undone center-parted sex hair (somebody please tell me those manes are extensions and not real, beautiful luscious strands that humans can actually possess), flushed, dewy skin, natural lips, and defined eyes that wing out slightly. Keep reading »
I hate short hair on myself, and out of my own bob-induced fear I usually feel pretty meh about it on others, but there are definitely some ladies who can wear the hell out of the big chop. Take Michelle Williams, for instance — her pixie cut not only channels the influential Vidal Sassoon style worn by Mia Farrow in “Rosemary’s Baby,” but it also perfectly offsets Michelle’s girlish features to lend her a more mature vibe. It’s a big deal when a long-locked starlet goes short, so it’s only natural that Jessica Chastain made gossip-world waves this week when she debuted her fresh asymmetrical cut in New York City.
For my part, I think she’s absolutely killing this look. It’s infinitely more adventurous than the “Tree of Life” star’s standard pretty-but-conventional mermaid waves, and it frames her face beautifully while still giving her the touch of edge she was overdue for. The blunt style actually reminds me of another actress’s haircut — January Jones (who has since gone back the way of extensions) rocked a similar severe side-part earlier this summer, and while hers was choppier and closer to the shoulders, it’s bound to draw comparisons nonetheless. Who do you think wears the look better? (And more importantly, in light of Jessica’s major cut and January’s long red extensions, do you think there could be a case of identity thievery at hand?)
Last night on “Mad Men,” something MAJOR happened, but I am not going to talk about that because I am trying to be respectful of those who do not prioritize TV watching on Sunday night and still haven’t seen the episode. However, I am going to talk about the second major thing that happened on the episode: Sally Draper, my little spirit animal, got her period! Naturally, it happened during the most inconvenient time possible, i.e. on a secret date to the museum with Creepy Neighbor Glen, who debuted a new mustache. Sally was so freaked out that she took a cab all the way home from the city so she could be consoled by mom Betty. Because when a little girl first gets her period, no one else will do but the mom you usually hate.
Sally definitely had it better than poor Sansa Stark, who got her period only a few weeks ago on “Game of Thrones.” Sadly, her own mother is far, far away, and so she had to deal with future mother-in-law Queen Cersei’s version of “womanly wisdom.” Here’s a chart comparing Sally and Sansa’s tumultuous first periods.
Okay, before you tell me I am totally reaching with this one, hear me out. The other day, after watching this week’s episodes of “Mad Men” and “Girls,” I was trolling Tumblr when I came across a post by Jenny Deluxe (who happens to write for The New York Times, so she obvs has a well-trained, journalistic mind) comparing the smile both Peggy Olson and Hannah Horvath displayed at the ends of their episodes. “DAT LOOK ON BOTH THEIR FACES. Mad Girls do it WELL,” Jenny wrote. She was right. A look of smug, gleeful satisfaction capped off both Peggy and Hannah’s episodes. Did they have more in common that I failed to notice before? Indeed! Spirit sisters — Mad Girls! – I tell you! [Jenny Deluxe]
I love Sunday night television. “Game of Thrones” with a “Mad Men” chaser, nothing is more satisfying! But in the last few weeks, I’ve noticed something. Theon Greyjoy on “Game of Thrones” is basically the Pete Campbell of Westeros. Think about it. Both are so pathetic you might feel sorry for them, if they weren’t so loathsome. They both walk around with a chip on their shoulder and a gross sense of entitlement, and are nowhere near as awesome as their constant peacock-ing would have you believe. See what I mean? Henceforth, I’ll just call them both Peon Campjoy! [Ed. Note: I know Theon's sister is named Asha in the books, but for the TV show, which is really what we're comparing in this context, her name was changed to Yara.]
You guys, last night I was watching The Hills and I got kind of sad. No, not because Whitney left Teen Vogue. And not because Brody and Lauren are on the rocks either. I was sad because I really, really miss Heidi’s old face. The one that didn’t have lips that looks like they’re made out of two gummy worms. The one that didn’t look like you could bounce a quarter off its surface. The one that didn’t give me nightmares. Will we ever see it again? I hope so. Keep reading »