“I don’t think it’s really about me … I think it really is sort of like, I’m a pigeon and the Internet is Fabio and it just happened.”
– Okay, so for those of you who are reading this quote like, “WTF is Ryan Gosling talking about? A pigeon? Fabio?” allow me to explain. Back in 1999, Fabio — yes, Fabio, romance novel cover model — was riding a rollercoaster when a pigeon flew directly into his face, splatting its blood and guts across his visage. In the same vein, Ryan Gosling and internet meme phenomena are two things that just happened to cross paths — in his words, he was in “the wrong place at the wrong time” — and explode. Fantastic analogy, Ryan. [The Hollywood Reporter]
My tropical storm has a first name, it’s F-A-B-I-O! But really you guys, the latest weather system ravaging its way across the Pacific is named Fabio. So far the storm doesn’t pose a threat to any land besides a tiny island, so you don’t have to feel weird about any sexual feelings this swirling mass of wind and rain might be bringing up for you. Apparently “Fabio” has been on the World Meteorological Organization’s list of storm names since 1982, when it replaced “Fico,” the name of a particularly devastating hurricane. According to The Weather Channel, 1982′s Hurricane Fabio “followed a path similar to the one expected for this year’s Fabio, staying well offshore. Afterward, Fabio returned every six years. Storms named Fabio brought locally heavy rainfall to Hawaii as remnant lows in 1988, 1994, and 2006, while the 2000 version of Fabio was a tropical storm that affected no land.”
As much as I like to think the storm-naming meteorologists had a thing for bodice rippers, the Weather Channel points out, “Fabio’s first appearance on the cover of a romance novel was for Hearts Aflame in 1987…So it would appear that ‘Fabio’ the storm came before ‘Fabio’ the model and actor.” [The Weather Channel]
In a sea of commercials where skimpily dressed sorority girls try to sell me beer, I’ve depended on the Old Spice Guy for that hottie fix I need to keep me from TiVo-ing away. There was the Isaiah Mustafa era (those were the days!) and then this guy, who was kind of a letdown. Now the new Old Spice Guy is … Fabio.
Really, Old Spice, you went from Isaiah Mustafa to Fabio? No offense, Fab, you’ve got great hair — incredible hair, really! — but this is not working for me. [YouTube] Keep reading »
Note to self, Fabio is not attracted to smokers. Very good to know. Also, I’ve been pondering the purpose of my lips. So thank you, Fabio. [Buzzfeed] Keep reading »
Oh, that Fabio—always there to offer a sympathetic ear or a helping hand. In this Funny Or Die clip from comedian Jon Daly, Fabio turns up to help Jon write some hilarious jokes AND woo a pretty lady. Because that’s what (imaginary) friends are for. [Funny or Die
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Huge muscled men just don’t seem to be in style anymore, but don’t tell Fabio, because a chiseled physique works for him. [West Hollywood, 8/18/09] Keep reading »
Aside from Carla, the crazy Muppet-like chef, our favorite contestant on “Top Chef” this season was Fabio, hands down — and the fans agreed! On the reunion show, which aired on Wednesday, Fabio won “Fan Favorite” — and now you can take Fabio home with you. Show your amore for the sexy and charming Italian with this “I Heart Fabio” shirt. The only thing that would make it better, is if the back said, “This is Top Chef, not Top Scallop.” [$24.95, BravoTV.com] Keep reading »
Oh Fabio, you’re soooooo sexy! Syke! But he is always good for laughs, so check out the shirtless (yet still wearing a jacket) bottled blonde “stud” doing what he does best — talking about himself, wooing women paid to fall at this feet, and flexing. From the boys who brought you Angela Lansbury’s camel toe and the Freddie Krueger beauty mask, here is another video to gawk at — a retrospective of ’90s-era Fabio romancing the small screen. I can’t believe it’s not better! [Everything Is Terrible]
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“My boyfriend put on a long blonde wig for Halloween and it really turned me on. Am I a lesbian, or do I just like Fabio-look-alikes?” — Bodice Ripping, San Francisco, CA
Funny you should ask. I’m lying in bed with my laptop (I’ve got “the cramps”) and I was just watching my boyfriend jokingly show off his legs to me. He’s honestly got the best legs I’ve ever seen (for a guy OR a girl), and now I want to dress him up like a girl and do him. Am I a lesbian?? The thought of going down on a girl does nothing for me, so I’ll take a wild guess and say no. I’ll go ahead and say the same for you. Women are just hot, and I think when we catch glimpses of “womanly” things we tend to get aroused by them. I think it also has to do with a certain “control factor.” It’s human nature to view women as submissive creatures. So when you see your boyfriend in a more volatile role (dressed as a woman), I think it’s normal to want to dominate and get turned on by the thought of it.
And no…it’s not a Fabio thing either. Unless you’re obese and have socialization issues. In which case, I’m sorry.
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