These Christian Louboutin platform heels are embroidered to look like a motherboard–isn’t that clever and quirky and fun?–and they can be yours for a mere $1695, which happens to be the same price as a brand new MacBook Pro. I know, I know, it seems like an astronomical sum, but it’s actually not that bad considering that you can use these Louboutins to watch movies, work remotely from anywhere in the world, complete ambitious graphic design projects, download music, and Skype with your friends. Oh. Wait a second. I just re-read the description and it turns out these shoes can’t do any of that. They look like a computer, and cost as much as a computer, but they’re just shoes. Now I’m confused. And kind of sad. [Racked]
Ladies and gentlemen, meet the most expensive nail polish in the world: Azature’s Black Diamond. The shimmery black formula contains 267 carats of crushed diamonds, and–yep, you read the headline correctly–one bottle will cost you $250,000. The other day I spent $12 on a bottle of nail polish and felt a little guilty and self-indulgent, so I don’t even know how to fully comprehend the fact that this exists, and that (presumably) someone is going to buy it. I mean, can you imagine? Every time you chipped your manicure on your keyboard, you’d be losing, like, a thousand dollars. Stressful. Apparently Azature is deigning to sell a department store version for $25, but I think I’ll just DIY my own by shredding up some dollar bills, mixing them into a bottle of Wet N’ Wild, and then crying myself to sleep. [Styleite]
As wise poet and personal role model LuAnn deLesseps once crowed — actually she autotuned it — “money can’t buy you class.” Money also can’t buy you style, as evidenced by the wide array of horribly ugly pants on offer by high end designers these days. Do you have $600 and no abiding sense of taste and the desire to look like a meth-addict out for her first post-prison cig break? We’ve got some really wowzer designer trousers just for you. Check them out in our gallery of wildly overpriced ugly pants.
Sure, you could spend $990 on this T-shirt by Thakoon, BUT YOU’D BE AN IDIOT! Sorry, I don’t mean to yell, but this T-shirt isn’t pooping diamonds, so I can’t understand why it costs so much. Do you? [$990, Shopbop]
Do you have — or are you yourself — a spoiled teen? Are you interested in completely blowing the minds of your friends and family with some insane, off-the-hook musical entertainment at your next birthday party/coming out fiesta/backyard Koi pond re-dedication ceremony? Well then, hire Jay-Z and Kanye West! They’re available to perform — if you’re really, really ridiculously rich. For the exorbitant price of $6 million, the pair performed at a very wealthy teenager’s Sweet 16 party in Dubai a couple of weeks before Christmas. Start saving your pennies now… [HipHopWired]
What could be said about Anthropologie’s Rickshaw (yes, a real thing) that Anthropologie couldn’t say better? Just listen to their whimsical description of the $2,200 culturally questionable bikemobile:
While on a
trip to India work project to find new objects to culturally appropriate some of our team got tired of walking among the poors flagged down a rickshaw for a spur-of-the-moment tour of the markets where we find cheap goods and sell them at offensively ridiculous prices the town. Inspired by the opportunity to make money ride and feeling a bit light-headed from not eating whimsical, we decided to design our own set of wheels, with some very special touches like a collapsible kantha-fabric canopy, handlebar streamers, a bell for brrring-bringing on the bike path and even a headlight that illuminates when the pedals are cranked (warning: does not come with ethnically ambiguous driver). An instant conversation starter on the road or on display, we’ll bet your neighbors and friends will find this all a bit troubling you’re whisked away on the adventure of a lifetime once you hop on — or into — our crazy expensive and completely inappropriate quixotic carriage. No two are exactly alike.
And good news! You can order up to 15 of them at a time! [Anthropologie]
Growing up with “The Muppets” has been a way of life for the children of the last several generations. The quirky and adorable creatures taught us how to sing, dance, and work things out with friends. And as much as we owe them for all of the life lessons they’ve taught us, the way to pay them back is not by wearing a ridiculous feather and sequin “confection.” This dress is just like a Muppet who was hit by a car –depressing, expensive and in the end–very, very ugly. [$2,377.00 Montaigne Market] Keep reading »
Recession, smesshion. That seems to be what luxury goods makers and upscale restaurants seem to be saying, anyway. Earlier this week, the Frome Cheese Show unveiled its latest hyper-expensive creation: a $175 cheese sandwich. What makes a friggin’ cheese sandwich cost $175? Well, it features white cheddar infused with truffles and is sprinkled with gold dust. Great, we’ll take three.
After the jump, some of the other must-have items you’ll need to have the most extravagant, luxurious and douche-y day of your life. Keep reading »
Sorry to be a downer, but we’re totally underwhelmed by Tiffany & Company’s soon-to-be-released handbags. The iconic jewelry maker is stepping into the handbag market this September with the help of the design duo formerly behind the recently-shuttered bag line Lambertson Truex. The designers, who formerly made incredibly ladylike bags, make total sense for the brand, but the prices don’t. Tiffany & Co. is, of course, an expensive brand, but while that may be understandable for their jewelry, there are plenty of bags we’d rather spend thousands of dollars on if we could! Charmed though we are by the promise of a classic Tiffany blue lining and the Holly clutch (named, we assume, after Audrey Hepburn’s character in Breakfast At Tiffany’s), the bags just don’t pack enough bang for all that buck. [The Bag Snob] Keep reading »
I received an email from Domenico Vacca this morning about, I kid you not, a $48,000 alligator garment bag. As in the thing you carry cocktail dresses and suits in to protect them from the elements and wrinkles. As in the bag that most of us get for free from the dry cleaner or when buying the aforementioned cocktail dress. But why would you use a free garment bag when you could spend as much as a mid-priced car on a heavier, more delicate version made from several alligators? Are you kidding me? I just vomited. Keep reading »