I have been dating my man for a year and half and we have been living together for five months now. All in all, we have a great relationship, however, I worry about his feelings towards his ex. He has all of their old emails saved on his computer and I did some snooping (I know, I know, asking for trouble) and discovered that they had a flirtatious relationship up until we had been together for three months. She texted him frequently when she was drunk; they said “I love you” to each other; and he even called her on our first Valentine’s day together as a couple. He was honest about speaking with her, but was not honest about the extent of these exchanges. Furthermore, why does he still hold onto these emails? He also has a bracelet she gave him that he swears he will never part with (even though it’s metal and scratches me sometimes when we have sex). He feels that asking him to let go of these reminders of her is unfair. She was the first person he slept with and he’s a loyal guy, so I understand that his “sentimentality” was a contributing factor in all of this. Their last contact was over a year ago, though, so should I just let it go? Or should I admit to snooping and discuss it with him? Does this sound like bad news to anyone but me?? — Suspicious
Tag Archives: exes
The evening started out harmless enough. My self-sabotage was not premeditated—more like a white lie that got carried away. I was on my way to class to take a test I hadn’t studied for, and I realized I just couldn’t do it. On a whim, I decided to ditch. I needed a drink, stat. I was supposed to meet up with my new guy, Kennedy, after class but he was working late and wouldn’t be ready until later. I went through my mental contact book of friends I had in the area and remembered that my ex-boyfriend Justin worked down the street. As soon as I sent him a text message, he responded. I wrote Kennedy to let him know I was skipping the test and meeting a friend for a drink.
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Last night on “The Office,” Erin learned that her boyfriend, Andy, had not only dated Angela but was engaged to her — and he sort of forgot to mention it. Erin reacts by turning into Cousin It and causing a scene while out to lunch with Michael for Secretary’s Day. We have to admit, we’ve reacted in a similarly dramatic fashion after finding out about a boyfriend’s past relationship, though not quite this bad. Keep reading »
My ex, who I dated for all of six months about three years ago, wants to reconnect. After the breakup, he moved far away to a completely different state and I haven’t seen or talked to him since he horribly ended it by taping a note to my car window. We weren’t together for very long but when we were, everything just seemed right. When he ended it, I was devastated. Well, he recently called me on Christmas Eve to wish me “Merry Christmas” and to ask how I’ve been doing. I’ve been dating someone else for a long time and I consider my new relationship to be very serious. Since he’s called, we’ve exchanged emails and Facebook messages almost daily and have talked on the phone occasionally. He’s back home visiting family and has asked to see me before he leaves. I told him I’d meet him for lunch in a few days, but I’m nervous about seeing him again and I’m worried that my old feelings will come back. He keeps telling me that I’m the last serious relationship he’s had and, since I’m taken, he’s going to have to either wait until I’m “back on the market so he can sweep me off my feet” or be single forever. What do I do? Should I stand him up and take the guilt, or confront my past in all of its not-so-glory-ness? — Second Guessing
In the classic scary flick “The Exorcist,” when young Regan McNeil’s mom wanted to banish the devil from inside her daughter, she had to call in the God Squad. The result was all sorts of profanity, a generous helping of projectile vomit, and several unpleasant deaths.
Once the devil was cast out, Regan and her mom moved to a new city; after all, who wants to live where the devil once did? Unfortunately, not all of us can afford a change of locale after a traumatic experience, like, say, a breakup. Short of jetting off to Bali and drowning your heartache in fruity cocktails, the quickest way to exorcise someone from your heart is by ridding yourself of all the bad juju—and debris—that a rough breakup can leave in its wake. Keep reading »
Last night I was thrown for a loop when I ran into a long-ago ex at a party that he had no business (that I could fathom) attending. I was not happy to see him. In fact, over the past ten or so years, I’ve made it a point to avoid being anywhere he might be. I haven’t been pining; he’s someone I actively avoid because he’s psychotic and I had no idea what he—or I—would do if we ever crossed paths again. I’m not a violent person, but the thought of stabbing him in the eye is not an unpleasant one.
When you’ve tracked as many laps around the block as I have, you’re bound to run into the occasional ex—even the ones you’d rather forget. As the rage disappeared along with the tequila in my glass, I got to thinking about how just the random act of running into someone can ruin, or make, your day. Keep reading »
Your relationship wasn’t working out, so you broke up. Mission accomplished, right? Sometimes, though, having your ex in your life can be more complicated than you’d think. You could be sabotaging your future happiness if you’re making one of six ex-related mistakes. Find out what they are! Keep reading »
A few years before I met my long-time boyfriend, he was with a woman he met in high school. They dated for about a year and got engaged, but it didn’t last very long. She had schizophrenia and the stress caused a long list of serious problems that lead to their eventual breakup. For years after, even into the first few months of our relationship, she would leave notes and threaten suicide. She dated his friend for a while and had two abortions, and after the second one she committed suicide. This was about two years ago now, and my problem is that he still has all of her letters and notes. I found them recently in our office; I even found a few referring to a pregnancy she may or may not of actually had terminated, if she was even pregnant (she was known for having hysterical pregnancies). I don’t want to be insensitive and ask him about the notes, which I probably shouldn’t have read, but we’re thinking of getting married next fall and I feel kind of strange having all of these notes from her in our home. I know it’s up to him to be ready to get rid of her letters, but is it wrong for me to ask him to get rid of them? – Haunted
We’ve all either said it or heard it at least once after a breakup: “Let’s be friends.” But is it a good idea to remain friends with an ex? Is it even possible? Was Billy Crystal’s character in “When Harry Met Sally” right when he said, “Men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way”? Keep reading »
Last night, I found myself packing up my ex-boyfriend’s stuff in preparation for his move. He didn’t have anyone else willing to help, including friends and family, so he was doing it alone. My main reason for helping, obviously, was because after three months of separation, I missed him. We’ve talked occasionally, so it wasn’t like he had called me out of the blue and said, “Help me pack my s**t!”
Even though we hadn’t seen each other in a while, it still felt like we were friends when I saw him. Not being his girl anymore made it easier to deal with the bra (that wasn’t mine) I found in his drawer. To be fair, he warned me, saying that I might find some things I didn’t want to see. (I believe it was from a previous girlfriend long ago because it was all stretched out and I know he has better taste now.) During the packing process, I started to wonder whether I’m a pushover. He’s not my boyfriend anymore — was helping him with his move too nice a thing for an ex to do, or was I just being a good friend?
After the jump, instances when it’s okay to be good to an ex and when you’re being too nice to the jerk who broke your heart. Keep reading »