How do you become friends with your ex after a shitty breakup? The short answer: Time heals all wounds. The long answer? Well, that’s a little more complicated. And it’s especially complicated if your ex has done something incredibly douche-y or terrible to you. Case in point: My Crappiest Break Up Ever (™), in which my live-in boyfriend broke up with me over IM while we were both at work. Even while it was happening, I knew that some day, in the very distant future, I’d find that incredibly funny. Like now. When I can laugh with him over Gchat about it.
I never thought I’d get to that point with Alex, or that I’d ever want to. But lo’, three years later, and we’re totally buds. How did this happen? Keep reading »
I don’t know how many times I’ve heard “don’t date a guy who’s just broken up with someone.” No one wants to be the rebound girl. Not only is it hard on YOU, it can be just as hard on him, as he’s trying to heal from his breakup.
But sometimes, you find yourself breaking the rules, liking a guy who has just split up with his last partner, and you go with it. It feels right. So you do it. Sometimes? It works out just fine — the relationship between your partner and his ex was long over and the breakup was an inevitability.
Other times, he clearly hasn’t moved on. Here are some obvious and not-so-obvious signs that he’s not quite over his ex. Read more…
A while back I was dating a guy that I was really into. In hindsight, the relationship was ridiculous… but I was transported by what seemed like some of the best between-the-sheets I’ve ever had, and I besotted myself into some idea that we had a future. So I was devastated when I was dumped, over email. (Yep, even in middle age, some men still do that.)
I went through the usual shock and awe, aided by piles of tissue and a hive of caring girlfriends. Moving through the stages of grieving, I saw him clearly for the incapable slouch that he was. But what kept nagging at me was how much I was going to miss that naked tango. Read more…
The holiday season can be a tricky time to be single, even if you’ve been that way for a while, even if you’re totally comfortable with it the other 11 months of the year. Some weird single holiday haze descends and makes the most well-adjusted among us feel like a lousy lumps of unwanted coal. Spending time with your family can, well, make you feel vulnerable and stressed. Sleeping in your childhood bed (or a pull out cot in my case while my brother and his wife take my bed) can, well, make you feel as bitter and lonely as the Grinch. The combination of Hallmark ephemera, sentimental Foldger’s commercials, and old black and white movies playing on a loop can make you, well, overly emotional and temporarily insane. All of the above may cause you do naughty things. Like think it’s a good idea to contact say, an ex that you know you shouldn’t. Don’t let this happen to you. Nowhere in the rules of Holiday does it say that you should extend kindness and good will to some not-good-for-you douche bag. The holidays are NOT a valid excuse for fraternizing with ghosts of relationships past. In fact, it will probably only make you feel worse. Once the haze has lifted all you’ll be left with is the lingering shame … and there’s no gift receipt for that. It’s not worth it. After the jump, some ways to keep this holiday season ex-free Keep reading »