My friend Nina and I were having one of our typical “where oh where have the good men gone?” whine-fests when it randomly occurred to me that I knew one.
I felt as neutral about Matt as you can possibly feel about an ex-boyfriend. He had a lot in common with the wine Nina and I so often indulged in: he was delicious, addicting, and made me giddy. On the flip side, he left me with a massive headache the next day. But I couldn’t hate him for it — it was his nature. I knew we would never date again, but I still wanted Matt in my life. Totally kicking him to the curb would be like pouring a perfectly good bottle of Pinot Noir down the drain, and that’s just wasteful.
Both Nina and Matt were intrigued by the idea of being set up and quickly agreed. Watch out, Patti Stanger – here comes the Minimum Wage Matchmaker! Actually, my clientele is more of the indebted grad student variety, but that’s not as catchy. Keep reading »
How do you become friends with your ex after a shitty breakup? The short answer: Time heals all wounds. The long answer? Well, that’s a little more complicated. And it’s especially complicated if your ex has done something incredibly douche-y or terrible to you. Case in point: My Crappiest Break Up Ever (™), in which my live-in boyfriend broke up with me over IM while we were both at work. Even while it was happening, I knew that some day, in the very distant future, I’d find that incredibly funny. Like now. When I can laugh with him over Gchat about it.
I never thought I’d get to that point with Alex, or that I’d ever want to. But lo’, three years later, and we’re totally buds. How did this happen? Keep reading »
I don’t know how many times I’ve heard “don’t date a guy who’s just broken up with someone.” No one wants to be the rebound girl. Not only is it hard on YOU, it can be just as hard on him, as he’s trying to heal from his breakup.
But sometimes, you find yourself breaking the rules, liking a guy who has just split up with his last partner, and you go with it. It feels right. So you do it. Sometimes? It works out just fine — the relationship between your partner and his ex was long over and the breakup was an inevitability.
Other times, he clearly hasn’t moved on. Here are some obvious and not-so-obvious signs that he’s not quite over his ex. Read more…
A while back I was dating a guy that I was really into. In hindsight, the relationship was ridiculous… but I was transported by what seemed like some of the best between-the-sheets I’ve ever had, and I besotted myself into some idea that we had a future. So I was devastated when I was dumped, over email. (Yep, even in middle age, some men still do that.)
I went through the usual shock and awe, aided by piles of tissue and a hive of caring girlfriends. Moving through the stages of grieving, I saw him clearly for the incapable slouch that he was. But what kept nagging at me was how much I was going to miss that naked tango. Read more…