Tag Archives: ex-girlfriend

True Story: Somehow, I’ve Become Obsessed With My Ex-Boyfriend’s Ex-Girlfriend

True Story: Somehow, I've Become Obsessed With My Ex-Boyfriend's Ex-Girlfriend

I recognized her immediately: the soft, brown golden retriever-like eyes that turned down at the corners, the blonde, slightly over-processed hair and tan skin with a smattering of freckles that betrayed her Southern sorority girl roots despite her New York fashion girl get-up.

It was 2010 and I was working behind the cheese counter at a shop in the Chelsea Market. And she was … well, obviously doing well enough to spend $30 a pound on farmstead cheese. As I stumbled to weigh out her dainty wedge of artisan sheep’s milk, flustered and flushed, I felt a strange surge of vindication that twisted and wrapped around a twin, slightly nauseating feeling of anxious jealousy like some cruel double helix.

We had never met in person but I could have spotted her a mile away. And here she was, smiling obliviously at me across the refrigerated case as I swaddled her Manchego in butcher paper. Her credit card confirmed the name I had come to know and agonize over for months upon months of my life. She was The Ex. Keep reading »

15 Things You Don’t Want To Know About Your Boyfriend’s Ex

Everyone carries with them a little piece of whoever they’ve loved before and nowhere is this more painfully apparent than when you have to deprogram your boyfriend’s expectation that all women are controlling shebeasts. In time, your guy will stop cowering in fear and asking you, “Is that OK? Are you sure?” every time he wants to hang out with his friends.

Fortunately, other ways his last girlfriend rubbed off on him will be much more benign. However, you might find that some of her beliefs—which are now his beliefs—are equally annoying. Sorry, dude, but there’s only room for two people in a relationship—and believe me, I am well aware she’s the reason you’d die on the barricades defending Ralph Nader as a stellar presidential candidate. After the jump, 15 things you really don’t need to know about his ex… Keep reading »

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