I was just, um, checking missed connections on Craigslist (a favorite hobby of mine) and came across this random request for advice. This guy is having dinner with a former girlfriend tonight, and he wants to sleep with her but doesn’t know how to let her know he’d like to have sex but doesn’t want to get back together. “I jsut [sic] want to make sure I’m not sending her mixed messages or something, as I would not want to make it hard or confusing for her.” How kind of sweet that he’s being honest about his intentions and acting totally concerned about leading her on. Why do men like this only exist on the internet?! Hopefully he’s not using this to attract women who think he’s a nice guy though. That would be kind of genius. If you have advice for him, email him. And let us know if he tries to pick you up.

Every time I’ve ever had sex with an ex, the results have been nothing short of disastrous. There was the time I had sympathy sex with the guy I didn’t love him anymore (resulting in him being certain I still was); the um, “incident” where I made a complete fool of myself when I gave an ex a blow job even though he definitely didn’t love me anymore (the lowest of low ex sex); and the horrifying moment when I cheated on my then bad boyfriend with the sweet ex that I had dumped for the boyfriend but felt I had almost definitely made the wrong decision. (Hey, it was very, very confusing!)

A lot of people swear by ex sex. Some claim to keep it casual, but my question is, if you broke up it was for a reason that was probably somewhat emotionally charged, how can you ever truly be flip? The bottom line is, someone is still attached. If not, why exactly are you allowing yourselves to sleep together again? Sadly, the answer is that one party is just interested in sex, while the other has a desperate ulterior motive: to convince the former to realize that they should get back together.