Exes, right? They’re all oozing out of the ground like primordial sludge when you date them, and then suddenly, after you break up, they become fully functioning human beings! How does that work? If you, like me, have a few exes that you met while they were clawing their way up into real-personhood, you’re probably amazed by some of the changes they’ve gone through since you guys were together. Was your time with them in any way responsible for their radical transformation? Have they progressed? Regressed? Become totally awesome or incredible shits? After the jump, we catalog some of the ways our exes got their lives together after, much after, we broke up.
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How do you become friends with your ex after a shitty breakup? The short answer: Time heals all wounds. The long answer? Well, that’s a little more complicated. And it’s especially complicated if your ex has done something incredibly douche-y or terrible to you. Case in point: My Crappiest Break Up Ever (™), in which my live-in boyfriend broke up with me over IM while we were both at work. Even while it was happening, I knew that some day, in the very distant future, I’d find that incredibly funny. Like now. When I can laugh with him over Gchat about it.
I never thought I’d get to that point with Alex, or that I’d ever want to. But lo’, three years later, and we’re totally buds. How did this happen? Keep reading »
The title of this post is somewhat of a misnomer because the South Carolina woman who discovered her ex-boyfriend had been living in her attic had already broken up with him 12 years ago. So maybe it would be more accurate to have titled it “You’re Getting Evicted From My Crawlspace”? Keep reading »
John Mayer has been trying to make Jennifer Aniston his girlfriend again. They always come back, don’t they ladies? First he dumped her via text message last August (ouch!) and then, after a brief reunion, broke up with her again in March. Apparently, now John has been begging her for another chance. The balladeer has gone boo-hoo for his Hollywood honey.
Sure, our own Erin and conventional wisdom say that in life you only get one chance. But in love, there are no rules. However, there is good advice, not to mention learning from your mistakes. That’s why I’m going to share with you the biggest relationship mistake I ever made. Keep reading »
So you’ve made it through the horrifying breakup with someone you cared about … now what? To be friends or not to be friends, that is the question. Most of the time I like to make a nice clean break adhering to a “no contact” and “no getting back together” policy. I’ve learned from experience that this is a necessary move for me to heal my ailing heart and move on. In time, I am usually content to be “acquaintances with history,” exchanging an email every once in a while or having friendly drinks with the exes that I still respect. But that’s only after time has passed and I’ve removed the rose-colored glasses that I used to gaze at him through. And, of course, there are the guys that I know I won’t ever see or speak with ever again … those that have committed offenses of the heart too heinous to be forgiven in this lifetime. But it’s not always so black and white. Some people are worth keeping in your life. Keep reading »
Okay, so we know we’re not supposed to be fans of commercials when there’s, like, real art on TV, but Orbit gum is special because they understand that breaking up is hard to do. Remember the clean mouth commercial where the ex-wife put a convertible through a wood chipper because her man was cheating with his co-worker? Well they’ve managed to kick that bitchfest up a notch! In the commercial above, a scorned woman turns T-Rex and starts ripping stuff up with her teeth. Unfortunately, the ad is so controversial for some reason, it was pulled off the air. So we’re giving it to you, because we would never break your heart. [Ad Freak]
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