Looking for a new tee shirt? Maybe you’ll find a nice one on Etsy.com, where you could pick up tees reading “Five-Year-Old Slut Seeking Sugar Daddy,” “I’m A Sensitive Guy, I Only Rape Pregnant Women,” “My Daddy Loved Me Right Even Paid For The Abortion,” “Playing My Tambourine On Main Street Leering At Little Girls,” “Autumn Is Perfect For Date Rape,” “In Many Asian Cultures Poor Driving Is A Sign Of Fertility,” “Saving Myself For A Skanky Loose-A00ed Ivy League Grad,” “Invite Me To Your Gala, I’ll A-0-0-Rape Everybody,” or “Stalking You Because Nobody Else Will.” Each is available for $12.99 from the seller F Your T.
If you think that racist and sexually violent tee shirts don’t belong on Etsy.com, you can sign this Change.org petition to address Etsy’s community management. And stop shopping on Etsy. [Change.org]
The components of a successful arm party are very similar to the components of a successful actual party: variety, excitement, unexpected combinations (of people or bracelets), and a general cohesion of all the elements. When it comes to arm parties, Etsy shop Pop Culture Junkie has you covered. They’ve got a huge variety of quirky, colorful bracelets, and even sell “Arm Candy Sets” of three coordinating bracelets to get you started. I love the selection of bracelets above, but with almost 400 items to choose from, I’ll need at least a few more hours to narrow down my final choices. Check out the shop here and read on for shopping details of the bracelets shown above! Keep reading »
If you like your accessories on the sweet side, you must check out the adorable Etsy shop Clay & Clasp, which is stocked with a wide variety of polymer clay jewelry sculpted to look like sweet treats and cute animals. Adorn yourself with some yummy macaron or cupcake earrings, and slip on a teeny tiny tea set necklace to complete the look. They also have pug cufflinks. I repeat: PUG. CUFFLINKS. Just what your boyfriend’s wardrobe has been missing!
Your relationship with ejaculate doesn’t have to be as bad as Monica Lewinsky’s to appreciate a cuddly little sperm friend! These crocheted Spermies are sold by Etsy shop Wonka’s Willy Factor and are both custom- and hand(job-)made. One Spermie is $13, a three-pack is $30, and both would be enough to get you pregnant (if they weren’t made out of yarn). What you choose to do with your Spermies are your choice. I suggest a colorful biology or sex ed session with a matching crochet dick. [Laughing Squid] Keep reading »
All the deep colors and sumptuous textures of fall clothes call for standout jewelry that doesn’t get lost in the mix. Jewelry carved from the fallen branches of Oregon pine trees, for example. This gorgeous pine pendant necklace from the wood art shop Turning Time allows you to bring a unique piece of nature into your wardrobe. Wear it on its own or layer it with a few metallic chains and stone pendants for a truly eclectic look. Then just sit back and let the “Where did you get your necklace?!” comments start rolling in… [$25, Etsy]
Squeezable stress balls and “Hang in there!” kitten posters are all fine and good, but what you really need in your office is a reminder of why you’re there, and who could better sum up the work/life balance than Parks & Rec‘s resident entrepreneur Tom Haverford? This gorgeous typography print of Tom’s wise words, “Sometimes you gotta work a little so you can ball a lot,” would look so fly hung up in a cubicle, framed in a corner office, or even tacked on the wall in a dorm room. Because no matter where you are in life, these words are always true. [$40, Paper Chat]