Tag Archives: esquire

Jessica Paré Strips Down For Esquire — Plus, Sexy Easter Outfits That Will Get You Kicked Out Of Church

  • “Mad Men’”s Jessica Paré bares her lovely teeth in the April issue of Esquire. [Page Six]
  • Easter is coming up … which means Cadbury Creme Eggs and bunny-themed lingerie. Definitely not church appropriate. [Mommyish]
  • Eating duck embryos for dinner and other things that have killed men’s boners. [Your Tango]
  • When you get a boyfriend, you get his annoying friends too. [College Candy]
  • Hiring a male escort is really not such a bad idea, especially if you need some Swiffering done in hard-to-reach places. [The Gloss] Keep reading »

Scarlett Johansson Bestowed With Another Useless Honor For Her Sex Appeal!

  • Esquire has named Scarlett Johansson “The Sexiest Woman Alive.” I can’t get mad at that. She’s hot. I would motorboat her. [The Blemish]
  • Here are some signs you’re a “stage 5 clinger” in your relationship. [College Candy]
  • Halloween is coming, so this is as good as time as any to try wearing black lipstick. [The Gloss]
  • Got a small living space? Here are five tips for making a small room seem larger. [The Stir]
  • Australian DJ Ruby Rose is claiming she hooked up with Demi Lovato. [Celeb Dirty Laundry] Keep reading »

Pray Tell: Megan Fox Considers the Possibility That Celebrity Culture Is the Antichrist

Megan Fox covers this month’s issue of Esquire, and she’d like you to know that she’s actually been religious this entire time.

“I’ve read the Book of Revelation a million times,” she told interviewer Stephen Marche. “It does not make sense, obviously. It needs to be decoded. What is the dragon? What is the prostitute? What are these things? What is this imagery? What was John seeing? And I was just thinking, What is the Antichrist? When war breaks out in the Holy Land, like it is right now, if that is a sign of the immediate end times, then where are the other signs? Is it possible that it’s the Internet or fame itself or celebrity?” Keep reading »

Every Kate Upton Magazine Cover Ever

This week, high fashion mag Jalouse released its latest issue — with boob-tastic Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover girl Kate Upton striking a pose. Kate, who manages to channel Anna Nicole Smith (in a good way!), typically ends up with most of her clothes off, so it’s nice to see her explore her haute couture side. What do you think of her Jalouse look? If it’s not really your thing, then check out Kate’s other covers above!

Kate Upton, Sexy Nun
kate upton photo
Kate Upton indulges in your sexy nun fantasy. Read More »
Kate Sucks A Popsicle
Sexy Celebs Sucking On Popsicles
Plus 17 more ladies cooling down with ice pops. Read More »
Kate's Cat Daddy
Kate Upton demonstrates this sexy dance move. Read More »

The Soapbox: You Like To Go Down, So What?

Do Men Like Oral?
How do men feel about giving oral sex? Read More »
Sex All Women Need
Kinds Of Sex Every Woman Needs To Have Before She Settles Down
12 kinds of sex every woman needs to have before settling down. Read More »
Oral Extinction
Is oral sex dying? Read More »

According to an article in this month’s issue of Esquire, the blow job is all but becoming extinct in favor of cunnilingus. In an informal poll, conducted by the writer Geoff Dyer, eight out of 10 of his “more mature male friends” preferred “eating p**sy to having their dicks sucked.” And guess what? The two who preferred BJs were gay! He uses this data to assert that the excitement that surrounded fellatio beginning in the ’70s has all but faded.

Clearly, that must be the case, if his friends say so. But it’s not just his friends. He says blow jobs are out in pop culture as well. I mean, Michael Fassbender’s character in “Shame” tells a man in a bar that he wants to go down on his wife. It’s of no consequence that he’s a sex addict, I suppose. And in a scene from Jonathan Franzen’s Freedom, Joey Berglund says he considers getting a blow job as “little more than a glorified jerk off.” Should we talk about how he had been sleeping with his neighbor since he was 13 or something? Perhaps I should remind Dyer of the entire page in Jeffrey Eugenides’ The Marriage Plot dedicated to the sucking of Mitchell Grammaticus’ c**k. That came out just this year.

Dyer says of his perceived decline of the blow job:

“[Cunnilingus] was regarded in much the same way as paying for a round at the bar: You had to do it, but if you could avoid it, you did. It would be a mistake, though, to see this change as meaning that men have gone from being selfish recipients to selfless givers of pleasure; it’s just that what constitutes pleasure has shifted.”

Keep reading »

9 Supposedly Legitimate Reasons We Cheat

The Other Woman
Thoughts on having been the other woman. Read More »
Creative Cheaters
Study says creative people cheat more. Read More »
9 Signs He Cheats
Take notes, ladies. Read More »

Esquire is famous for running content for men written by women just how men hope women write but don’t, and this is not the first time I have thought WHAT? But here: in their Sex and the American Man series, author Lisa Taddeo explains (honestly) why women cheat. I will break it down for you, after the jump… Keep reading »

Nivea Apologizes For Racist “Re-Civilize Yourself” Picturing Black Man

This Week in Racially Insensitive Advertising News: the skin care company Nivea was forced to apologize yesterday after people objected to an ad that ran in the men’s magazine Esquire. The ad depicts a handsome, well-dressed black man holding a black, Afro-ed and bearded head in his hands, preparing to throw it into the distance, with the words “Look Like You Give A Damn: Re-Civilize Yourself.” Keep reading »

Ryan Gosling Doubles My Pleasure

What’s better than one Ryan Gosling? Two! My chances of making him my real boyfriend instead of just my dream celebrity boyfriend would double if only this Esquire cover was a reality. Sigh. [Crushable] Keep reading »

Esquire Magazine Tweets A Sexual Assault Joke

esquire tweet

Really, Esquire? Someone posting to the magazine’s Twitter feed tweeted a link to an article earlier today which read, “How to get a better blowjob than DSK – we think.” DSK, of course, is Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the former head of the International Monetary Fund, who is accused of forcing a hotel maid to perform oral sex on him. Wouldn’t any blowjob that doesn’t involve forcing yourself on someone be a “better blowjob”? Does that mean this is an article about how not to sexually assault someone? Your readers need that?

This tweet has since been deleted from Esquire‘s Twitter feed, but was screengrabbed by Jezebel blogger Irin Carmon. Esquire followed up with a tweet which reads, “Sometimes our sense of humor doesn’t come out the way we intend. Sorry if an earlier tweet offended anyone.” I’m hoping the initial tweet came from a social media intern who didn’t know any better and is getting their wrist slapped right about now. [Yfrog.com/IrinCarmon] Keep reading »

10 Ways Men Can Show Women Their Love

The guys at Esquire have published a fantastic listicle for their male readers giving them 10 ways they can show the ladies in their lives their love. Unlike some of those insipid lists over at Men’s Health (remember this one? Or this one? Or this one?!), this is one we can actually give a big thumbs-up to. Take number one, for example: Make a decision. Yes, yes, yes! Guys, this is number one for a reason. When you make decisions, it shows you’re confident, and confidence, as any woman will attest to, is hot. Keep reading »

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