As much as we appreciate the obvious benefits and abilities of a rock hard cock, there’s something about a chub — a soft, malleable, half-erect penis — that makes it our second favorite penis form. Is it the shape? The texture? The fact that it hasn’t committed to anything yet? The appeal of being able to decide if you want to have sex with it or play a game with it? Or maybe it’s how open and accepting it is, like a baby animal innocently exploring the world for the first time? All of the above, really. One thing’s for sure: in the grand hierarchy of penile potential, we don’t think chubs get nearly enough credit. It’s time to change that. Oh chubs, how do we love thee? Let us count the ways… Keep reading »
After a mountain biking crash, a 22-year-old Irish man found himself with an erection that lasted for seven weeks. When he slammed into his handle bars during the crash, he was left with a hard-on that just wouldn’t quit. He kept the result of his “irregular bloodflow” to himself for five weeks (how he managed that is beyond me) and finally paid a visit to Tallaght Hospital in Dublin, where it took doctors two weeks to find a way to treat it. His otherwise good health made the rare case even more baffling. Keep reading »
“I could hardly dance, with an erection poking my partner … It’s not something you want to bring out at parties and show to friends,” Daniel Metzgar, the 44-year-old New Jersey man who is suing the doctor who gave him a bad penile implant, testified.
Metzgar told jurors that the inflatable prosthesis, given to him by urologist Thomas Desperito in 2009, left him with an erection that lasted for eight months. EIGHT MONTHS! That’s a really long time to walk around with a boner. Keep reading »
Tired of the same old fried or scrambled eggs? Wish you could enjoy your favorite breakfast food in a more phallic shape? Then you should definitely check out a new kitchen gadget called the “Rollie Eggmaster.” Just crack your eggs into the tube-shaped contraption, and a couple minutes later it slowly pushes out a cooked egg boner. According to the infomercial, it’s “perfect for the office!” Lord help us. [YouTube]
Ever rolled over in the morning to snuggle your dude and got jabbed in the belly button? Thought so. That’s because all men experience “noctural penile tumescence,” AKA morning wood. As the folks as ASAP Science explain above, morning wood has to do with REM sleep, a neurotransmitter called norepinephrine, and even the dude’s bladder. I used to think men just awoke horny because I’m so damn sexy! Sadly, the cold, hard truth is less flattering. (Did you see what I did there?) [Towel Road]
Sure, animal sex is weird, but humans are part of that strange kingdom. Here are 10 Weird Sex Facts that prove we’re civilized here at the top of the food chain and yet still pretty freakin’ gross… Keep reading »