Tag Archives: engagements

Dear Wendy: “I’m Engaged, But I’m Not In Love”

Wendy is off today, so I’m reposting an oldie but a goodie from her Dear Wendy column. She’ll be back at it tomorrow!

I have been dating my boyfriend for about three months. We get along great and he would do anything for me. We just have one problem. He doesn’t believe in evolution and I very passionately do. We got in a discussion about it which quickly turned into a huge fight. Although my current career has taken me down a different path, I have my masters degree in biology concentrated in ecology and evolution so I know a little something about it and pretty much dedicated my entire education to learning about it. He is an engineer and very smart, but I just found out that he used to be really religious, hence his disbelief in evolution. I tried to answer his many misconceptions about evolution as best I could without being prepared for such a heavy debate, but he persisted in refusing to listen to the evidence I presented and even compared me to a religious zealot who has been brainwashed by my schooling. I know that when I feel passionately about something I can get quite worked up and come across as condescending. I understand that a lot of couples have different beliefs and make it work so I know that we can too. However, I don’t want us to have restrictions on what we can or can’t discuss in a rational manner. So I guess what I am asking is how do I broach this topic in a manner that doesn’t turn into a huge argument? Should I just accept that we may never agree on the topic and try to get over it? — The “Mad” Scientist

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Engagement Photos Based On The Animated Movie “Up”

Did you see the Disney-Pixar movie “Up”? We did. It made us cry. A lot. While the film’s super sad, it’s such a beautiful love story that we’re not completely surprised one couple based their engagement photos on the tale of Carl and Ellie, complete with loads of balloons and a grape soda bottle cap pin. Adorable. [The Wedding Chicks via BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

How To Properly End An Engagement

As many of you know, I was a fiancée who got dumped. On the 1-10 Suck Scale, it registered at around 27, due in no small part to the fact that I was caught by surprise, it was handled rather insensitively, and I wasn’t given the whole story — or a full explanation — right away. With that being said, people often dump their fiancés/fiancées for perfectly good reasons and just because they’re the ones doing the dumping, that doesn’t make them evil, horrible people who should be drawn and quartered. Let’s face it: how to properly end an engagement is not something we teach in school, unless you are getting private tutoring from Jennifer Love Hewitt (she’s been engaged, like, three times). Luckily I’ve learned a few things about it, after being on the short end of the stick. This should come in handy when I dump Sam Worthington for my true love, Ryan Gosling. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’m Physically Sick After Ending My Engagement”

I called off an engagement about two weeks ago and I am an absolute mess. I feel like I can’t eat, can’t sleep, have massive headaches, nightmares, constantly feel sick to my stomach … I could go on but I think that paints the picture. I’m seeing a therapist and it’s sort of helping, but the physical symptoms are not going away. I’ve read self-help advice (throw away his stuff! stop contacting him!) and I’m doing all of that, as well. I’ve talked to my super supportive friends but they (understandably) just don’t really know what to say. At this point, I just need help putting one foot in front of the other and taking one day at a time; any advice? How do I stop feeling so sick and start eating and sleeping normally again? — Heartsick

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Dear Wendy: “Are Pre-Engagement Jitters Normal?”

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly four years. I recently found out, through my mom, who has a huge mouth, that my boyfriend stopped by to pick up my grandmother’s diamond. We are using it in a simple setting we picked out together. When I picked it out, I was overjoyed. I’m still very excited. But now that it is real, I can’t help but be a little nervous. I don’t ask myself if he is the right person, I just worry about forever being a long time. What if it doesn’t work out? What if it’s the wrong choice? What if 10 years from now we regret getting married? What if I have to get a divorce? I’m a planner by nature. I hope for the best and plan for the worst and I like guarantees. I like to know what is going to happen to me. Is it wrong to be a little bit nervous about all the uncertainty and life changes I am jumping into? — Planner

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How To Get Him To Propose

Cathy Torkelson, 34, had a good job as a legal consultant, a loving boyfriend and supportive friends and family. She was a good girlfriend in what appeared to be a solid year-and-a-half-long relationship. Yet, internally, Cathy was anxious, irritable, moody and unable to concentrate. The cause? A persistent question: why hasn’t he proposed?

Torkelson’s questioning became “all-consuming,” and eventually turned a normally independent, rational woman into a nervous wreck. Keep reading »

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