Lanna Hamann, a 16-year-old high schooler from Arizona, died suddenly of a heart attack on vacation in Mexico this weekend, and her mom, Kris, believes it was the result of consuming nothing but energy drinks all day. According to friends and family members, Lanna spent all Saturday on the beach drinking energy drinks, but no water. Later that day, she told a friend’s father that she was feeling sick and soon afterward, she went into cardiac arrest. Keep reading »
It’s a competitive market out there: Sum Poosie is not the only energy drink named after your vagine. P*ssy, a “100 percent natural” energy drink out of the UK, is another ode to nature’s sweet nectar of womanhood. Just what does P*ssy taste like? “A blend of fresh white grape juice from Southern Italy, pressed Mexican limes and lightly carbonated water. These are then mixed with Grenadilla and Lychee flavours, infused with six selected botanical herbs,” according to the drink’s NSFW web site. Oh so classy. Oh so fancy.
What I can’t understand, though, is why my ladyflower is such a fountain of inspiration for ultra-caffeinated elixirs, yet the Tucker Maxes of the world couldn’t eat box if their life depended on it. Ever heard the phrase “the lady doth protest too much?” I’m onto your tricks, p*ssy-themed energy drinkers. [P*ssydrinks.com via Jezebel] Keep reading »
Move over, Four Loko — there’s a new drink in town to facilitate poor decisions. Tiger Blood, a limited time $4-a-pop energy drink by the makers of Love Energy Potion and other classy beverages, is here to keep you WINNING. Full of chipped warlock fangs and Adonis DNA, the fruit punch flavored energy drink allows you to “take more drugs than anyone can survive. Be different, have a different brain, and a different heart. When you feel Tiger Blood in your veins, you’ll realize dying’s for fools and that can’t is the cancer of happen. Period. The end.” (Or, um, not.) While Charlie Sheen is not in any way affiliated with Tiger Blood, I’m sure it receives his full stamp of approval. [Oh No They Didn’t! via Harcos Labs] Keep reading »
It was a fruity, caffeinated alcoholic beverage called Four Loko, not the date rape drug, that sent a gaggle of Washington state college kids to the hospital during a house party on October 8. Police had suspected “roofies” had effed up the Central Washington University students. Instead, it was a 12 percent alcohol malt liquor/energy drink equivalent to six beers that got to these party monsters.
In other words, I thought this story would be a Lifetime original movie, but it turns out it’s an episode of “Jersey Shore.” Keep reading »
Wait, what did you think I was going to write?
Sum Poosie is a “vagina-themed” energy drink that tastes like cherry and was created by a guy who turned down a job offer from Red Bull in 1996. “Basically, it’s an energy drink, but it’s like the ‘Girls Gone Wild’ of energy drinks,” the drink’s distributor Levar Turner, who is under the impression that is a selling point, told blogger Amanda Hess at TBD.com. “There are a million and one energy drinks. We needed to stand out. What better way than with Sum Poosie?”
So. How does Sum Poosie stand out? Bottles with boobies, boobies, boobies. Keep reading »