Every member of The Frisky staff has cried today. It’s the equivalent of a moon circle in here. I passed around this Emotional Guidance Scale so we could all identify where we were at. If it’s possible to be in both spirals at once, I am simultaneously a number 5 upward (optimism), number 21 downward (insecurity/guilt/unworthiness). I didn’t realize I was so near the bottom. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow. That was my optimism speaking. Ugh. I think I need to eat more pastries. Where are you at today? [dgls.pls]
It’s a rare man who knows how to deal with an emotional woman. I know that “feelings” scare a lot of dudes and in their fear and perfectly admirable desire to “fix things,” they become inert, inept, or insensitive. I’ll never forget the first time my most serious boyfriend saw me cry. He didn’t say anything at all, he just started to tear up with me. I remember thinking the man was a f**king genius! And I love him! And he should write a guide book for the rest of mankind! Not that I expect every man to cry with me, not at all, I just want them to let me feel without trying to make it stop, to comfort me without making me uncomfortable. But that’s rare. In the midst of an emotional jag, I usually end up reassuring the man that my emotions will soon come to an end and life as they know it will resume. This is why I prefer going to my female friends when I’m upset, they know better than to tell me to “buck up” or something lame like that. Just shut up and pass the tissues. After the jump, some things guys say when we’re emotional that really don’t work and some much better alternatives. Keep reading »
Last week, I had dinner with a friend and a gauntlet of sorts was thrown: shape up and get some self-esteem, Julie, because you’re really bringing everybody down. Well okay, I thought. I get that. Nobody wants to hang out with a sad sack. But I just don’t know how you go about acquiring self-esteem.
This isn’t a ploy to get you to say nice things about me, or to pump me up with artificial compliments. I am truly at a loss as to how you transform the way you think about yourself. This is something that I’ve struggled with all my life. Keep reading »
I’m not big on crying in public, I swear, but dressing rooms are a different story. Maybe it’s the sting of the harsh lighting. Maybe being surrounded by mirrors makes me feel raw and introspective. Maybe I take the phrase “retail therapy” a little too seriously. Whatever the reason, I have something of a history of tearing up on shopping trips. Here are some of my most memorable fitting room cryfests… Keep reading »
We all have moments where we are not our best selves. Maybe our hormones are going haywire because we are pregnant, just got on birth control, or just got off birth control. Maybe we have been sleeping for three hours a night for the past six weeks because it’s finals time. Or maybe we’re just having one of those
days months years. But no matter our reasons for not being ourselves, we need someone who understands us and can talk us off the ledge. Our own personal Crazy Whisperer. Keep reading »
One of the things I’ve been thinking about during this drinking/dating/sex sabbatical of mine is how you know you actually like someone. I’ve come to realize that in addition to being an extreme emotions junkie, I’m what Dr. Drew might call a “love-a-holic.” A motivating factor in my desire to sleep with someone is for that amazing but temporary feeling of love and desire and wholeness that washes over me when I’m in bed with them. I lovvvvve the feeling of being in love, feeling love, having a crush, etc. Looking back, I’ve felt love for people that I barely know, let alone know well enough to deduce if I actually like them. So, in the last 20 days of being sober and date/sex-free, I’ve felt the feelings of liking someone hit me and instead of obsessing over them and rolling around in that feeling of like, I’ve tried to think about why I have that feeling. Keep reading »