Most of the time we love our vaginas. After so many years together, we’ve formed a warm, companionable relationship, where we know that she’s on our team, and while sometimes she can be moody or mysterious, we’ll usually be able to predict what she’s thinking. But on the rare occasion that our vadges act out, we feel spurned. Like, say, when we’re at the gym lifting weights and when we stand up, there is a full sweat imprint of our vagina — labia majora and all — on the workout bench and we discover it just as we see the hot guy standing next to us, taking in our crotch Rorschach, and we think, Vagina, you have betrayed me. You bitch. No sex for you. Below, a few instances when we’ve wanted to disown our vadges for being so disloyal. Keep reading »
I understand that wardrobe malfunctions are a part of life. I accept the fact that buttons pop off and pants rip and blouses become suddenly see-through in certain lights. But that doesn’t make it any easier when it actually happens, for example, this weekend when I was walking around town and realized that my skirt was tucked into my underwear–and had been for an indeterminable amount of time. My mom has me beat, though. A few months ago she was on stage at a conference, being introduced to give a keynote address… Keep reading »
Last year, I compiled a list of when you should embarrass a woman on the street. My thinking behind the list was basically “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” So, if my skirt were tucked into my panties, I’d want someone to tell me. Yesterday, I tried to indulge in some good karma when I saw this woman wearing a see-through dress that exposed her thong and butt for everyone to see, but it didn’t go as I would have expected. Keep reading »
Of course I thought Johnny Depp
was dreamy in “21 Jump Street.” But my childhood crush didn’t turn truly psycho until I saw “Edward Scissorhands.” How did I express my obsession with Johnny? In a totally sane way. I tried to become him. One afternoon when I was home alone, I stole my mom’s manicure kit and taped the different implements to my hands to see what it would feel like to have real scissorhands. Crazy crush behavior or early indicator that I might have goth tendencies in my future? Either way … mortifying.
Inevitably, childhood celeb crushes are only good for one thing: They make you do very embarrassing things. Take, for example, this young lady, Melissa Bell, who may end up in therapy as an adult after she discovers that it might not have been the best idea to read her crush story, “Ashton Kutcher Fan Fiction: The Middle School Dance,” aloud to her school. Poor girl. [BuzzFeed]
Just to make sure that Melissa and I are not alone in our shame, I asked the other ladies at The Frisky to share their most humiliating celebrity crush moments. Some stories you won’t want to miss after the jump. Keep reading »
In Jamie Bufalino’s sex column in Time Out New York this week, a 30-year-old straight woman writes in to tell Jamie about a super-embarrassing moment she experienced during sex with her new boyfriend recently. She says:
This evening we are fooling around and I am straddling him but no actual intercourse. All of a sudden—OMG Jamie, I can’t even write this—I felt some sort of warm liquid under me…I don’t know WTF happened, there seriously was no warning whatsoever…but somehow, my body released runny, watery, disgusting, liquidy s**t. Not a lot, but definitely enough. Again, no signs of it coming, no stomach gurgling, no slipped fart, nada. Just straight-up liquid s**t. I stopped immediately, hopped into the shower, and wanted to curl up and disappear. He was actually very polite and understanding about it. I want to know, how the hell did this happen?!? Why was there no warning?!? I’m so disgusted and humiliated that I don’t know if I have the courage to ever see him again.
Keep reading »
Some lucky couples feel electricity during sex. That’s not quite what happened here, but the ground did shake around Jens Gottlieb and Lisa Gruhn as they were getting hot and heavy in the woods as a storm rolled in. A bolt of lightning struck the ground, almost toasting the coital couple. They got up and bolted (ha!), running completely naked. But they got lost in the rain and couldn’t find their car. Thankfully, another driver saw the nakie couple bumbling around the woods and called the police. The adventurous pair were found and led back to their car in dry clothes. I’m guessing the officers who found them are still telling that story around the station … and to everyone else they know. Because, hey, it got around to us. [Metro UK] Keep reading »