There’s a lot to love about Emily Blunt, not the least of which is that I don’t think she would mind me referring to her breasts as “enormous milk-filled tits” in the title of this post. She’s a saucy Brit after all. Emily stopped by “Ellen” and showed off a first pic of her and husband John Krasinski’s daughter, Hazel. She also went into hilarious detail describing the size of her newly lactating breasts, which, she claims, are under the impression she has 12 babies — or a medieval village — to feed.
Even though the Olsen twins — i.e. Mary-Kate and Ashley, for those of you who recognize they are two separate humans — are only seven or so years younger than me, I will forever think of them as adorable Michelle Tanner on “Full House,” forever slightly shocked to see them all grown up. Here they are, appearing on “Ellen” and promoting their two new fragrances, looking and talking like poised, cool, smart, stylish adults. Mary Kate is engaged. To a FRENCHMAN. It’s like the Olsen twins are suddenly not only NOT children, but adults who are more responsible and mature and together than I am. WTF?
Hot damn, Ellen and Portia are a beautiful couple, aren’t they? My favorite thing about them is that every time they’re together, they both just light up–they wear their adoration for each other on their sleeve and I really admire that. OK, enough fangirl-ing about their relationship, let’s talk about their outfits! For the “Arrested Development” premiere red carpet (side note: OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING), Ellen chose a sleek gray suit while Portia vamped it up in a tight black dress and a funky pompadour. They both look stylish, happy, and confident, which is the very essence of “Well Played.” [Photo: Fame/Flynet]
Gwyneth Paltrow generally leaves a bad taste in my mouth — a taste eerily reminiscent of wilted kale — but I am capable of appreciating aspects of her personality that are actually kind of endearing. Like the solid effort she put into the embarrassing task of imitating famous rappers like Jay-Z, Kanye West and Macklemore, on “Ellen” yesterday. Her Beyonce isn’t bad either. But that Chris Martin impression needs work.
I’ve always been a huge Diane Keaton fan, and her recent appearance on “Ellen,” during which she gulped down wine and giggled her way through topics as diverse as tantric sex (“For nine hours! That’s ridiculous!”), punching Robert De Niro in the face (“That was fun!”) and why she never got married (“What happened was … nobody ever asked me.”). The interview is a little confusing, but it’s also totally endearing. And for the record, Diane, I would marry you in a hot minute. [Huffington Post]
Amy Poehler is really not doing much to discourage my desire to kidnap her children and raise them as my own. Archie and, squeeeee, Abel (my favorite, if I’m being honest) sound do frickin’ adorable! And it sounds like Amy is an awesome mom and all signs indicate that she and, sigh, Will Arnett are handling their recent split with maturity and grace.
Remember Lindsay Lohan’s plans to debut her Playboy issue on Ellen? Well, there will be no such interview. Following her very eventful Hawaiian vacation, Lindsay failed to hop her early flight back to L.A. yesterday for the taping. So much for that.
The consolation prize, for those that were hyped to hear what Lindsay had to say? Paris Jackson, daughter of Michael, appeared on Ellen in Lohan’s place. The episode, which airs on Thursday, will mark the 13-year-old’s first ever solo interview. Judging by the video preview, which you can watch on Radar Online, Paris seems surprisingly normal and well-adjusted despite her upbringing and the controversy surrounding her father. I, for one, am glad Lindsay bailed — this interview with Paris is bound to be more interesting, and what could Lindsay possibly have to say that we haven’t heard from her before? Trainwrecks are tedious when they only play one note.
I have never worn Spanx, but Melissa McCarthy has officially made me terrified of ever doing so. Wardrobe malfunctions are already all too prevent in my life — from snapped heels to sudden holes in my jeans’ crotch to full-on thong reveals thanks to hearty gusts of wind — so Spanx just sound like a disaster waiting to happen. They do, however, make for a hilarious segment on “Ellen.” Watch above!
How did it escape my notice that Sophia Grace Brownlee, the little girl who sang Nicki Minaj’s “Super Bass” and became a viral internet sensation, has such an intense British accent? Sophia and her cousin/”hype girl” Rosie returned to Ellen’s couch, just a few weeks after their appearance in which they performed and met Nicki herself, to talk about the experience. Rosie kind of reminds me of Silent Bob to Sophia’s Jay, in that Rosie never says anything. Anyway, the kids also took to the stage to sing Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep,” which Sophia, of course, knocked out of the park. I just want to put Sophia in my pocket so she can bring me joy at all hours of the day. So much personality and energy in such a small package.