Tag Archives: Elf

True Story: I Was A Macy’s Christmas Elf And It Sucked

True Story: I Was A Macy's Christmas Elf And It Sucked

When I saw an online ad that said, “Seeking Elves For Seasonal Position,” I admit, I was pretty excited. Not only did I fill out the application and provide a full resume, I also attached a cover letter with reasons why I would make the perfect elf:

“With over six years of experience working with children, I have full confidence in my ability to be an asset to your elf team!”

In my defense, even as a freshman in college, I was still a big kid inside. I was envisioning my elf experience to be like a scene out of an iconic Christmas movie. I would hand out candy canes to smiling kiddies, hoist little boys and girls onto Santa’s lap, listen to bubbly recitations of toy-filled Christmas wish lists, and push gleeful children down a slide into a sea of puffy, cotton clouds. As a Christmas elf, I would have the power to make so many childhood wishes come true. I would be part of the spirit of Christmas!

I showed up to the first day of training at Macy’s flagship New York City store. Getting in character, I practically skipped all the way there. When I entered through the huge golden doors of the mega-retailer, I was bombarded by sales people wearing Santa hats trying to sell me luxury bags I couldn’t afford, and the overwhelming scent of perfume.

“Where do I go for training for SantaLand?” I asked a sleepy looking security guard.

“You have to go through the employee entrance around the back,” he explained. Keep reading »

The “Elf” Yourself Christmas Checklist For Holiday Cheer Revival

elf

Let’s be honest: Sometimes getting into the holiday spirit is no easy feat. But if there’s one person who knows how to bring out the best in us, it’s Buddy the Elf.

So do everyone a favor and give yourself the Elf treatment this December. By performing just a few simple tasks, you can kiss your inner cottonheaded ninnimuggins goodbye and spread some Christmas cheer, ya heard?

Simply complete this “Elf Yourself” checklist and you’re on your way to obnoxious merriment… Keep reading »

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