“I put myself in the eyeline of love, but I can’t quite get it together. I’m not okay being single because I’m a relationship girl. I love the romance. … He has to be funny because I love to laugh. Driven, creative, motivated and inspired. He has to be a loving guy, who loves his mom and family. And, of course, easy on the eyes. That always helps.”"
Tag Archives: dry spell
So, I’m in between one-night stands right now, experiencing what is commonly known as “a dry spell.” (I’m being self-deprecating here, LOL!) Honestly, aside from the inexplicable arousal I feel when watching “The Bachelorette” or seeing Russell Brand on the cover of Rolling Stone, it’s not so bad! Now that I am not having sex — and not really even thinking about having sex — I have so much free time! There’s a lot of perks about the ol’ kitty cat going into an abbreviated hibernation — let’s face it, as a Scorpio, I am not going to let too much dust gather in the cellar, if you know what I mean. So, while I’m temporarily celibate and no one is gettin’ near my ladyflower, I’m taking time to smell the roses. Here are the 5 best things about being in a dry spell. Keep reading »
Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily lead me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. And please, if you have a question, email me. You know I love to read your smut too! Now, let’s get this party started…
Dry spells happen, even to pandas. Lately, the panda population hasn’t been feelin’ sexy. They haven’t been eating well, and they don’t seem to have the energy to make sweet panda love. Sound familiar? Like a bad breakup or a natural disaster, a lot of things can lower your libido. Here’s what the experts have learned about how you can start humpin’ again.
While some women have trouble with breasts that droop or low-hanging butt cheeks, my heart has always been my least-resilient body part. Like Chet Baker once crooned, I fall in love too easily. And once it ends—especially when it’s not my idea—I tend to have a little trouble getting back up on that passion pony. The worst time was after a six-year relationship went kibosh (translation: he dumped me). I didn’t so much as kiss another man for two years. I know. It still makes me shudder.
Sure, I was busy moaning, moping, sobbing, and sighing for the first six or eight post-dump months, but by month 10, I thought I was ready to move on. For the next year and a half, I kept wondering, mostly aloud, to anyone within earshot, why nothing was happening. It was only in retrospect that I noticed what a basketcase I’d become… Keep reading »
Being a single gal is fun and can even allow you to get a little extra freaky! But sometimes the pendulum swings the other way — not knowing where your next piece of ass will come from can leave you in a sad dry spell, and even the professionals aren’t immune. Heidi Fleiss, the infamous Hollywood madam, had it all. And by “it” we mean every A-list actor in LA. Not only did she score the top booty, they paid her well to do it too! At the height of her career she had Marlon Brando, Jack Nicholson, Charlie Sheen, and a Porsche. In 1997, she was thrown into an unsexy pair of handcuffs, put in jail, and left penniless for her escort service. Now, at 42, the former working girl has opened her own shop in podunk Pahrump, NV. Strangely enough, even though prostitution is legal in Nevada, she’s not putting the rump in Pahrump. Instead of a ring of call girls, she’s in charge of the spin cycles at her little launderette cleverly called “Dirty Laundry.” She’s cleaning clothes and cleaning up her act while living in a mobile home with 20 parrots she saved from a closing pet store. “I love those birds more than I’ve ever loved any man,” Heidi said in a recent interview. “It’s been two years since I had sex and I don’t care if I ever do it again.” Sigh, we’ve all been through a sexless rough patch and it’s hard to pull yourself out — even if you’re the Madam Fleiss (and especially if you’re a crazy bird lady). But, Heidi, you just have to get back up on the man-horse and ride! Everyone in America knows you can do it. [NOTW]