A quick note on anonymity. Support group meetings like these are anonymous. The stories told by others and their names are not to leave the room and therefore all references will be very vague and general, with only a specific focus on my takeaway as it pertains to my situation. I’m also not attempting to evangelize for the 12 Steps and, in fact, don’t even discuss the actual 12 steps in this essay. I’m simply sharing my thoughts on my experience with the group, which may or may not reflect others’ experiences with it.
I think the first 12 step meeting is probably a little awkward for everybody. It’s already some level of uncomfortable to talk in front of a group of strangers, but to do so about such personal issues? Really weird. But even if you’re used to talking about your problems and showing your emotions to others, be it friends or family or a therapist, a 12 step meeting is different, in that nobody responds. Nobody interrupts, nobody asks questions, nobody gives advice. They just sit and listen. Usually in life, when we share things about ourselves, we look for some kind of reaction or feedback, those remarks or gestures from others that ease the story along. During a 12 step meeting, one person shares at a time and everyone else just listens; when the share is over, its someone else’s turn and so on. The conversation happens through the interaction of those individual stories as they are heard, received and understood by everyone else in the room. Pause, and it’s quiet. Stays quiet, until you’re ready to continue or conclude. I’ve found those moments to be the most transformational.
I am not personally an addict. But other people’s addictions have been a constant presence in my life, in some way, since I was born. Yet, it wasn’t until a few months ago that I decided to attend my first 12 step meeting for family members and friends of addicts. Keep reading »
Yo, this Sunday, Mr. Walter White and his meth-addicted protege Jesse Pinkman are back for the season premiere of “Breaking Bad.” I am so excited that I’m hosting a small get together at my apartment, complete with blue raspberry rock candy (what the show uses for their meth) and a bell in memory of Hector Salamanca, may he rest in peace. If I could, I would cater the entire thing from Los Pollos Hermanos.
Now, everyone knows there’s nothing hot about drug addiction in real life, but TV and movies have done a good job finding hot dudes to play drug addicts. In honor of “Breaking Bad”‘s return, I present to you 10 hot drug addicts on TV and in film, starting with the show’s own Jesse Pinkman (played by Aaron Paul). I would so be his bitch.
“It’s not really a shock.” When a famous person dies from causes related to drug or alcohol addiction, this, or something similar, is one of the more common responses people have. While there are plenty of crueler things people can and do say, this bored and blase lack of surprise over the death of a human being tends to bother me the most.
That is because my father is an addict. He’s been an addict my entire life. And to not be shocked by someone’s death at the hands of addiction would mean I would have to have to reached some sort of placid acceptance that my dad will also inevitably suffer the same fate — that his getting “better” is out of the question. Keep reading »
“I still can’t escape the stigma [of a drug addict] for some reason. Even people like Kelly Osbourne feel free to f**k with me. A few nights ago, when she appeared on ‘Fashion Police with Joan Rivers,’ the bitch called me a crackhead. … This is a girl whose life I have saved twice, once with C.P.R. and another time with C.P.R. and violence — by which I mean I had to poke her furiously in certain places to wake her up from her coma. …She’s been sober for how long? Less than a year? Good for her! But it wasn’t that long ago when Kim Stewart was screaming, ‘Courtney, what are we going to do? Kelly Osbourne is blue on the floor!’ Kelly wasn’t doing that well back then. For some reason, Kim Stewart also called me when Paris Hilton got pulled over for her last D.U.I. And Lindsay Lohan called me after she was arrested. The judge presiding over her case was the same judge who presided over mine. He was a very sweet man. I think he was an ex-alcoholic himself. I told Lindsay to just get it together and trust the judge, and Lindsay’s father called me for advice every day. I’m not even that friendly with these girls. What am I, a junkie Auntie Mame?”
—Oh. My. God. This Courtney Love interview on The Fix, Salon.com’s new blog about addiction and recovery, is EPIC. There’s about 16 more excerpts that are priceless, including lots of Hollywood gossip about the drugs she’s done with Winona Ryder, Sting, and Andy Dick. And she talks some crazy smack about Kim Gordon, whom she calls a “cocktease” who was obsessed with Kurt Cobain. Yikes. Worth a read, definitely. [The Fix]
More from Courtney about that Kim/Kelly incident after the jump. Keep reading »
Full disclosure: I find “Two and a Half Men” to be one of the more intolerable shows on television, so I can’t say that I’m terribly upset the show has been put on indefinite hiatus following Charlie Sheen’s epic, ongoing meltdown. Oh yes, ongoing! Charlie apparently didn’t get everything off his chest when he called in to “The Alex Jones Show” on Thursday, so he gave Pat O’Brien’s radio show a ring yesterday and dropped a load there as well. (A fitting choice, as O’Brien — back when he was a host on “Access Hollywood” — was famously busted on tape saying “Let’s hire a hooker, let’s get some coke.” So, you know, they share some common interests.) Read some of the more coo-coo bananas quotes — with guest appearances by Eminem, sandwiches, and hand jobs! — after the jump… Keep reading »
You’re probably asking yourself: “How the hell is it possible to get high digitally?” Well, you know those ecstasy-hungry and internet-savvy teens are always looking for the next big high. And apparently, one only needs a set of headphones, an MP3 player, and an internet connection to experience “i-dosing,” which involves purchasing “digital drugs” from a dealer on a website. Keep reading »
A dominatrix: all of us know what one is. But let’s be honest: few of us actually know a woman who earns her living as one (that we’re aware of, anyway). But you’ll become, ahem, intimately familiar with one after reading the recently published book, Whip Smart: A Memoir, by Melissa Febos.
Febos, who nowadays teaches writing and literature at SUNY Purchase College in New York, was just a college student looking to earn extra cash at a Manhattan dungeon. But surprisingly, something about domme-ing men for money appealed to her. Febos — who was also busy acquiring, and then kicking, a heroin addiction — spat, spanked and insulted her way through clients for a whole four years before she left the dominatrix life for good.
I spoke with Febos about what initially drew her to sex work, how she broke the news to mom and dad that she was a dominatrix (yes, they knew!), and what she did with all those kinky clothes when she finally hung up her whip. Keep reading »