Kids these days! They’re just not getting drunk like they used to. When I was a young sprite, someone with a car had to drive into the nearest city and buy booze from the one dodgy liquor store known to sell to under-21s. But modern youth have taken to drinking liquid hand sanitizer. Could their mouths really be as dirty as the Orbit gum commercial says? No, silly: hand sanitizer contains 62 percent ethyl alcohol, which is teenager-speak for “good enough for me.” So far, six teens have been rushed to San Fernando Valley ERs after learning the hard way that this is a f**king stupid thing to do. Now, get off my lawn! [USA Today]
Alas, San Fernando Valley teens are not the only creative, bored individuals to consume the modern equivalent of bath tub gin. But there are more! Here are a bunch of other stupid ways to get drunk or high that WE TOTALLY DO NOT CONDONE YOU TRYING, you hear?
“I would come off stage in front of 18,000 people and suddenly be alone in a hotel room. I’d come crashing down and would try to find a way to recreate that feeling, to stay ‘up.’ Promoters gave me drugs and alcohol in restaurants or clubs. They wanted me to come back so I would be seen there. They were basically kissing my ass. I thought they were my friends. I thought I was having fun. Being a celebrity can be dangerous. Nobody says ‘no’. That’s why so many end up overdosing and dying. It could definitely have happened to me.”
– Demi Lovato opened up in the UK magazine Fabulous about her drug addiction, which, although she doesn’t name it directly, implies she was using an upper like cocaine. Demi has been in and out of rehab and also been public about her diagnosis of bipolar disorder, bulimia and cutting. I’ve been impressed with her candor and I’m really impressed now that she seems to have self-awareness about herself, her addictions, and her so-called “friends”/the people who enable her. There’s nothing sadder than someone who never hears the word “no” and has no idea people are kissing their ass. [TMZ]
Some things really get my goat when it comes to kids, like little girls wearing heavy makeup. (Cough, cough.) But pot leaf-shaped candy? Meh.
Parents around the country are reportedly upset with “pothead” lollipops and ring-pops, which are sour apple-flavored suckers in the shape of marijuana leaves. According to the Washington Post, the lollipops sell for about a dollar and the ringpops sell for about three for $1.50. But, in an egregious example of false advertising, “pothead” candy doesn’t contain any THC. Instead, the packaging just shows a stoner-looking dude flashing a peace sign and the word “Legalize.” So, you know, the kids think it’s the cat’s pajamas.
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Somewhere in a lab far, far away, scientists fed spiders flies injected with LSD, mescaline, hashish, and caffeine. These are their webs. [ICNT4GIVE] Keep reading »
You’re probably asking yourself: “How the hell is it possible to get high digitally?” Well, you know those ecstasy-hungry and internet-savvy teens are always looking for the next big high. And apparently, one only needs a set of headphones, an MP3 player, and an internet connection to experience “i-dosing,” which involves purchasing “digital drugs” from a dealer on a website. Keep reading »
“I tried to mask my problems with alcohol, cocaine and mind-altering substances. Now I’m in a place where I don’t need to use anything and I can feel emotions because I choose to. … I went to rehab three times. The first time I checked myself in because I had taken Ambien. It’s a sleeping aid but it makes you hallucinate. I’d run a bath and fallen asleep on the floor and the bath had overflowed. When I woke up I was so scared, I called my therapist and said, ‘Can I just go somewhere for a month?’”
— Lindsay Lohan, on things that should come as a shock to no one [The Sun UK]
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For as long as I can remember, drugs have mystified me. It started with the movie “Mask” starring Eric Stoltz as a 16-year old boy with a major facial deformity and Cher as his cokehead, biker chic mother. In my 7-year-old mind I attributed Eric Stoltz’s facial deformity to Cher’s use of cocaine during her pregnancy. Don’t ask how I arrived at this conclusion. Well, I was after all a child of the D.A.R.E. generation after all. I would lay awake at night scared about all of the people out there using cocaine. Worrying that they would have a generation of babies with deformed faces. By the time I reached high school (I knew that cocaine didn’t cause facial deformities anymore), I was soo spun out on the anti-drug message that I had no interest in thinking about let alone trying drugs save the occasional marijuana cigarette. Keep reading »
Star magazine is reporting that Lindsay Lohan could be indulging in her old habits of drinking and doing cocaine. But Linds also may have taken up a new compulsion — cutting. Although we don’t always believe Star, Pop Eater did a little photographic investigation, and Lindsay does appear to have a series of scratches or scars on her forearm. Most cutters usually injure themselves on their arms or legs because the scratches can be covered with clothing. Pop Eater also has photos of Lindsay wearing long sleeves recently. Keep reading »