If you’re anything like us, your wine-drinking skills probably merit a trophy or two (examples: Most Improved Pallet and Best Balancing of Wine Glass On The Edge Of The Bathtub), so why not give yourself that trophy you deserve, in the form of a quirky DIY wine cork? If you still have your t-ball participation trophies floating around the attic, great, but if not, you’ll be able to find cheap (and delightfully flamboyant) trophies at your local thrift store for a buck or two. The only other supplies needed are a fresh cork and superglue. Oh, and some Merlot to sip while you get crafty. [Country Living]
New research has found that married women are drinking more than married men after tying the knot. Presented at the American Sociological Association meeting in Denver, the findings were derived from one long-term survey that provided information on more than 5,000 Wisconsin residents’ alcohol habits, gathered four times during a 47-year period. The research suggested that while men drink more than women overall, women’s “increased drinking after marriage might be an attempt to match their husband’s habits.” Interestingly, the study found all that changes if you get divorced: suddenly-single men drink far more alcohol than married men, while divorced women drank less than married women. They’re relieved, I guess!
No need to turn your attention to single 20-something ladies, researchers. Nothing to see here! [NY Daily News]
This post is cross-posted with permission from the blog A Girl’s Guide To Beer.
Dear Brewers, Brewsters, Marketing People and Art Departments,
I love our industry, I really do. I feel blessed every day to work in, what is undoubtedly, the warmest, most welcoming and fun business in the known cosmos.
But I’ve got a bit of a bone to pick with you… in fact, I’ve got a whole skeleton’s worth … and it’s about the sexist imagery some of you use to promote your beers.
Just in case you haven’t noticed, in the last few days there’s been a bit of a furor about the issue of rape, some bloke called Julian, a mahoosively ill-informed American politician and some loud-mouthed idiot who has remarkably managed to manipulate a whole section of society into voting for him.
I’m not, for a single moment, saying that pump clips or bottle labels incite rape — that would be equally bone-headed — but you only have to look at the enormous backlash such idiotic comments have evoked to see that sexism has no place in modern society. So why do you still indulge in it? Keep reading »
Once upon a time, I had a Dumb Idea. I decided to make mojitos, my favorite cocktail. They look so tasty and delicious in the bar, but come to find out they are a pain in the ass to make. The rum/mint/sugar/lime juice ratio is a delicate balance. And muddling the mint — “muddling” means abrasively rubbing, to release the flavor — is the worst. My uncle, who is a professional bartender, even gave me special mojito sugars. That didn’t help. My mojitos looked, and tasted, like swamp water.
So I can almost, almost, feel sympathetic now that The New York Post is now claiming bartenders are flat-out refusing to make their customers mojitos. Keep reading »
If you’ve ever attended a girls’ night out or a bachelorette weekend,then you know that women tend to have distinct drinking personalities. Female drinking personas are developed early (usually in college) but lifestyle, city and financial situation can greatly influence how a woman acts when she drinks. But ultimately, if you provide a woman shots, a sexy outfit and booty bumping music, her drinking personality will resemble one of the Seven Dwarves from “Snow White.” When Disney named these lovable, little men, he must have been thinking of all the drunk ladies he knew because it’s uncanny. Get a woman sloshed enough and she’ll eventually turn into Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Bashful, Dopey or Doc. Trust me, one of the Seven Dwarves is just lying dormant within you, and if she drinks too many vodka tonics … watch out. See if you recognize your inner drinking Dwarf above! [Photos: Disney]
On some unfortunate Sunday mornings, as we stare into the depths of our toilet bowls after a long hurl session and put a palm to our throbbing heads, most of us repeat the mantra, “I am NEVER drinking again!” Though temperance would be the global cure for our perpetual hangovers, drinking also seems to give us amnesia, because we forget about our promises, and we keep coming back for more.
So, the lush in me and the boozehound in you wants to know: What’s happening to our bodies after we drink? And, if we don’t want to become teetotalers, arethere any cures for the ultra-humbling, apocalyptic phenomenon that is a hangover? Keep reading »
I don’t know what else is going on in Pub 500 in Mankato, Minnesota, but apparently it’s enough to warrant the installation of the “first ever” pregnancy test vending machine in the ladies’ room. I’m kidding, actually: it was not Pub 500 that installed the pee sticks for their lady patrons — they came courtesy of Healthy Brains For Children, which seeks to reduce fetal alcohol syndrome in kids. Women can buy pregnancy tests for $3 in dispensers similar to the ones that sell tampons and pads. The group hopes that more women will learn if they are pregnant before getting their bun in the oven totally sauced. Eventually the group hopes to install the vending machines in malls, gas stations and gyms as well. The ladies room location seems weird to me and possibly has the potential of causing more problems than it solves. Like, I can just see drunk couples at the bar getting into arguments over “Oh my God, are you pregnant? Why did you just buy a pregnancy test in the bathroom?” kind of stuff. And I’m especially confused about the Minnesota location. Shouldn’t this pilot program have been installed in Seaside Heights? [CityPages]
Breathalyzers aren’t just for the po-po any more: In France, a new law requires every driver to carry two breathalyzers in their car. The intent to decrease the amount of drunk driving accidents by having drivers test themselves with breathalyzers before they decide to drive home inebriated. Keep reading »
Kids these days! They’re just not getting drunk like they used to. When I was a young sprite, someone with a car had to drive into the nearest city and buy booze from the one dodgy liquor store known to sell to under-21s. But modern youth have taken to drinking liquid hand sanitizer. Could their mouths really be as dirty as the Orbit gum commercial says? No, silly: hand sanitizer contains 62 percent ethyl alcohol, which is teenager-speak for “good enough for me.” So far, six teens have been rushed to San Fernando Valley ERs after learning the hard way that this is a f**king stupid thing to do. Now, get off my lawn! [USA Today]
Alas, San Fernando Valley teens are not the only creative, bored individuals to consume the modern equivalent of bath tub gin. But there are more! Here are a bunch of other stupid ways to get drunk or high that WE TOTALLY DO NOT CONDONE YOU TRYING, you hear?
I ran with a pretty tame crowd as a high schooler. We considered it a wild night if we’d wrapped a musical theater production and all piled into someone’s basement to watch the entire Star Wars trilogy on VHS and surreptitiously make out with each other. I liked it that way, and never sought out anything more raucous, so the first time anyone actually offered me a drink was in college. And when I say, “offered,” I mean, “forced me to consume through endless, irritating cajoling.” My housemates heard that I’d never been drunk and insisted that we do a shot together. It was some vile concoction called Black Haus, and knocking it back nearly made me gag. They pushed for another shot, but I stood my ground. I loved them, but I wasn’t going to guzzle a substance that tasted like blackberry-flavored cough syrup to prove it. Keep reading »