Ladies and gentlemen, behold the world’s first champagne vending machine, which has been unveiled at Selfridge’s department store in London. The shiny dream machine uses a golden robotic arm to gently dispense jewel-encrusted mini bottles of Moet & Chandon champagne for $30 a pop, and I want one of these in my house RIGHT NOW. I know what you’re thinking: But Winona, couldn’t you just fill your fridge with champagne and call it a champagne vending machine? Well… that’s an excellent point. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go buy 100 mini bottles of champagne, some jewels, and a hot glue gun. Cheers! [Daily Mail]
Drunk people are annoying — so annoying, in fact, that a Brooklyn bar is raising their drinking age on weekends to keep the youngest annoying drunks away. Neighbors have been complaining about bar patrons from Phil’s Crummy Corner leaving empties in their planters and screaming in the streets until 4 a.m. So now the joint will no longer admit drinkers younger than 25 after 10 p.m. on Friday and Saturday nights, a plan they referred to as becoming a “quiet family place” (instead of a combination sports bar/Latin American restaurant, which is what Yelp calls it). Phil’s Crummy Corner is even hiring a bouncer to keep those young’uns out, too. Noisy assholes will have to find someplace else to drink … just stay out of Queens, please. [DNAinfo New York] [Image of drunk people via Shutterstock]
It’s 3:30. The afternoon is draaaaagggggiiinnnggg. Your coworker won’t stop clearing his throat. If you look at one more spreadsheet, your eyes will fall out of your head. There’s a bar down the street with 2-for-1 Coronas calling your name, but you need a rock solid excuse for cutting out early. That’s where the “Happy Hour Virus” comes in. Just go to the Happy Hour Virus website, choose a type of broken computer screen to simulate (choices include “kernel panic,” “broken monitor,” and “blue screen of death”), and voila: your computer will instantly “break,” allowing you to throw your hands up in exasperation, pack up you stuff, and head to happy hour. When you come back to work the next day, just hit the escape key to “fix” your computer and resume working — at least, until the next happy hour. [On The Media]
Well, this is horrible. Joey Poindexter, a 38-year-old real estate appraiser and beer pong player, allegedly infiltrated the beer pong tournament circuit in Montgomery County, Maryland to stalk his sexual assault victims. And he’s been doing it for the past 10 years. Poindexter was finally arrested after a young man called police to report that he’d met Poindexter at a beer pong tournament, drank a Long Island iced tea Poindexter bought him, and woken up the next morning at Poindexter’s residence with his clothes piled on the floor.
“It’s a horrific sexual assault case,” said Montgomery Assistant Police Chief Russ Hamill. “This is a sexual predator.” Keep reading »
We have all been there. A casual happy hour turns into a dark, drunken blur where one can’t remember how many or what type of alcohol has been consumed. We all pay the price. But no one is more predictable than the Drunk Boyfriend. The men in our lives who behave so uniquely in our daily lives turn into the same man when wasted. The predictability of each stage of a boyfriend’s intoxication is almost comforting. Keep reading »
Men will rape us no matter, apparently! So if won’t don’t want to get sexually assaulted, us ladies have to “give up over drinking [sic].”
This is according to a facepalm-y new column in Southern Methodist University The Daily Campus newspaper by someone named Kirby Wiley. ”In order to prevent future victims, viewers need to know the other side of things,” Wiley writes. The other side of things, in case you’re not picking up what I’m putting down, is that drunk women are deserving of some of the blame here.
Oh hell to the no.
Keep reading »
Police in Charleston, South Carolina, were right to warn students on Tuesday after two sexual assaults were reported near the campus.
But were they right to include in the warning the fact that the victims had both been drinking and to include statistics about alcohol and sexual assault? Keep reading »
As previously noted time and time again, I am a wine enthusiast. (Wino, if you’re nasty.) But I’ve recently taken my enthusiasm to a whole other level by becoming a member of Tasting Room by LOT18, an online wine club that tailors each boozy delivery to your specific palate.
Now, normally, I’m pretty low-maintenance about my wine. I’ve got four wine shops within spitting distance of my apartment, so picking up a bottle of red to go with dinner is never a hassle. As much as I love and appreciate wine, and am, in theory, always eager to try new varietals, I find myself sticking to the same handful of wines when I go to the store. The enticing thing to me about joining a wine club is the surprise. But the surprise factor is also what has kept me from joining wine clubs in the past — what if I hate the selection I’m sent? Given how expensive wine clubs tend to be — and their reputation for shilling mediocre vino — it’s never seemed worth the risk. Keep reading »