Who knew Mandy Moore could actually be funny? (We lost hope forever after “Because I Said So.”) [Uh, speak for yourself. I love that movie.—Editor] But here’s Mandy in a hilarious and vag-tastic Funny Or Die video hawking Red Bull Energy Douche: the world’s first energy drink-slash-feminine hygiene product! Hmm, maybe if we had an energy douche around the Frisky offices, we’d turn in our copy more quickly…

Pharmacy checkout clerks, whether they know it or not, have a reputation for being the most judgmental people on Earth. Everyone is neurotic about what the cashier must be thinking when they slip a box of Durex condoms on the counter.

A bunch of Frisky commenters—not to mention Frisky staffers—attest that it is beyond awkward for them to purchase condoms, especially if they are locked in glass cases, which is the case in some CVS pharmacies across the country.

But I say poppycock. Salespeople get laid, too, you know! Besides, aren’t they more likely to be jealous that you are buying rubbers while they just going home tonight to masturbate alone and cry?

Seriously, buck up, friends, there are things that are way more awkward than buying condoms…

Hi, I’m Dr. V.  I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily lead me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. And please, if you have a question, email me. You know I love to read your smut too! Now, let’s get this party started.

This week, I got a letter from a lady who’s feeling self-conscious about the scent of a woman. She wrote:

“I just started dating this guy and he’s cool, and smart, and dead sexy. But he told me that my vajayjay smells. Is that a diss or what?! I mean, he was drunk and he hasn’t dumped me, but he never goes down on me. I’ve tried douching, but he’s still not going down on me. And now I’m too nervous to say anything about it. What should I do?”

The holiday season is filled with so many awkward family moments. Like, “Oh, pajamas. They’re, um… pink!” Or, “It’s a good thing Grandpa switched his prostate meds.” It can be scary stuff people, but I didn’t want to freak you out before you got cornered by a week’s worth of bonding time. Now that we’ve all officially survived the triumvirate of American high holy days, we can finally breathe a sigh of relief and laugh at this vintage mother/daughter moment. It left me with a not so fresh feeling—my lunch making its way back up. Guaranteed, nobody’s vagina stinks as much as this conversation.

If you thought douching with Lysol was hard on your ladyparts, take a gander at what Walmart suggest you use: a pressure cleaner.  Talk about rode hard and put away wet! On their Canadian website, the chain retailer (accidentally?) added the wrong product picture to their “Summer’s Eve Feminine Spray Ultra-Extra Strength.”  While our girl junk can get a funk, we doubt the lady-bits of Canada really require an industrial powered spray. [Walmart Canada via Fark]

Did you know Lysol used to advertise itself as appropriate for feminine hygiene? “A man marries a woman because he loves her,” the copy for this vintage ad reads. “Instead of blaming him if married love begins to cool, she should question herself.” According to this retro-minded public service message, a woman should “safeguard her dainty feminine allure by practicing complete feminine hygiene” with… a household disinfectant. Do not try this at home, people. Your vagina is for lovin’—not Lysol. [mrbill].

Since the sexual revolution, it’s been hard for us modern gals to remember that our below the belt business is also for baby-making.  STD’s and UTI’s are always a risk, but sadly, these party favors from sexual favors have been linked to birth defects.  Just when you thought they were bad enough to handle on your own, a new study has found they quadruple your baby’s chances of being born with a birth defect known as gastroschisis. While the name of the disorder is hard to pronounce, the complications are convoluted too—gastrochisis causes the baby’s intestines and other organs to be born outside the abdomen. States like Utah have experienced a tenfold increase in cases over the past 30 years and they blame it on the rise of STD and UTI infections.