Tag Archives: dominatrix

5 Truths About Sexual Fetishes (A Dominatrix’s Perspective)

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The stereotype goes that when it comes to sex, men are as simple-minded as dogs. (“Come on, we all know guys are only after one thing!”) Well, as someone with a few years’ experience as a dominatrix and phone sex operator, I’m here to tell you that could not possibly be more wrong. Male desire ranges from the merely kinky to the incredibly bizarre, and men are often so tortured by it that they’re not comfortable talking to anyone about it — not their closest friends, and certainly not their wives. Read more on Cracked…

First Time For Everything: Being A Dominatrix

Kinky, But Not Easy
woman in handcuffs photo
Jessica is kinky but still demands respect. Read More »
On Sex Work & Feminism
Actress Billie Piper talks about sex work and feminism. Read More »

Yes, I was nervous, but mostly I was excited. It was my first day as Mistress Darkness, a professional dominatrix. As a black graduate student in her 20s who had previously held down employment as a gym teacher and library assistant, I surprised myself when I answered  the ad on Craigslist. I needed a flexible, part-time job to supplement my graduate assistantship stipend and the $65-$85/hr compensation sounded like easy money. I had always been intrigued by the sex industry, but the thought of being a sex worker clashed with my feminist ideals. I decided to make an exception for this dominatrix listing, which seemed different to me with its strict “no sex or nudity” policy. Keep reading »

Dominatrix Suspended From New York Attorney General’s Office

Lawyers in the New York Attorney General’s office are used to cracking down on bad boys. But in Alisha Smith’s case, bad boys may have been paying her top dollar for a public spanking from “Alisha Spark,” her dominatrix alter ego. There are also allegedly photographs of “Alisha Spark” on the internet posing in skintight, latex fetish gear. According to an investigation by The New York Post, the 36-year-old Manhattan lawyer performs at BDSM events for pay — which has caused the AG’s office to suspend her from her job. A source told the Post her employers are concerned she may have been paid for doing this sex work — not just because it could be potentially embarrassing to her employers but because workers are supposed to get approval for any outside work for which they would earn over $1K. Even, uh, kinky work. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Was A Dominatrix For A Day

I flogged a man last night.

Despite my Bettie Page-lite haircut and a propensity for sexual experimentation, this is not something I have done before. I did have a very brief flirtation with the field of professional dominatrix-ing, but I never got beyond the training phase due to both a poor collegiate work ethic and feeling massively silly. And in my personal life I tend to swing firmly toward the “S” in the “D/S” yin-yang.

But in all my genital adventuring, I have never gone for the type of melodramatic, overwrought boning that I think of as “sex nerdery.” Spank me, call me names, hold me down, but don’t make me wear some kind of pleather costume or call you “master” while you do it. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Was A Dominatrix

The following is an excerpt from Whip Smart: A Memoir, by Melissa Febos, who we recently interviewed about her four years working as a dominatrix at a New York City dungeon. Here, Febos is about to have her very first “domination session” with a male client at the dungeon, for which she is being paid $75.

An hour can be a long time. Hell, a minute can be a long time. The minute before your first kiss with someone is a painstaking collection of seconds, each one more bloated with anticipation than the last. The first minute of a tattoo is a long one as well. Pain has few rivals in its ability to slow time. Fear, excitement, elation — these are kissing cousins, all with the sensorial power to render each second humming with every tick and gasp of our bodies, the whirr of insect wings and distant car engines. Sometimes, I could savor these moments, relish them as opportunities to walk straight into the fact of being alive. In the seconds that crept into the minutes of my very first domination session, I had no idea what I wanted. The $75 certainly, but beyond that? Character- building life experience? I would have confidently named these motives right up until the moment that the door of the Red Room closed behind me. With the clasp of its latch, all bravado and ideology dimmed with the light of the hallway behind. It was only me, a naked old man, and 60 minutes of palpable expectation. An hour alone with a naked man with whom you do not intend to have sex can be a very long time …

Keep reading »

Frisky Q & A: Melissa Febos, Ex-Dominatrix And Author Of “Whip Smart: A Memoir”

A dominatrix: all of us know what one is. But let’s be honest: few of us actually know a woman who earns her living as one (that we’re aware of, anyway). But you’ll become, ahem, intimately familiar with one after reading the recently published book, Whip Smart: A Memoir, by Melissa Febos.

Febos, who nowadays teaches writing and literature at SUNY Purchase College in New York, was just a college student looking to earn extra cash at a Manhattan dungeon. But surprisingly, something about domme-ing men for money appealed to her. Febos — who was also busy acquiring, and then kicking, a heroin addiction — spat, spanked and insulted her way through clients for a whole four years before she left the dominatrix life for good.

I spoke with Febos about what initially drew her to sex work, how she broke the news to mom and dad that she was a dominatrix (yes, they knew!), and what she did with all those kinky clothes when she finally hung up her whip. Keep reading »

Everything You Need For A Kinky Night In

We are sick and tired of the same old pink lacey underwear and the nice but boring nights that come with it. We’ll show you everything you need to get a little kinkier. Keep reading »

Dominatrix Stripped Of Right To See Her Son

Dominatrix and fetish/bondage model Mz Berlin, whose real name appeared in a story in the San Francisco Weekly even after she asked for anonymity, has been denied the right to visit her 8-year-old son. After her ex-husband read the article about her, err, habits he asked the courts to take away Mz Berlin’s visitation rights. He said he’s worried about their son’s safety. Keep reading »

Spiraling Economy Spawns Freelance Dominatrixes

As the economy goes soft, some women are seeking to earn extra cash as freelance sex workers. As it turns out, there’s a market for powerful career gals who can dominate a man’s world — literally. According to Tracy Quan’s “Kinkonomics,” recently laid off ladies are freelancing as professional dominatrixes. Although sex workers generally consider pro-domme work the most difficult sex work, these well-educated, middle-class working girls have decided to try their hand at the kinky version of the world’s oldest profession. It’s another type of economic stimulus package; this one includes bondage, verbal humiliation, and foot worship. [The Daily Beast]

Keep reading »

Dominatrixes: Hit Hard, Hit Back

What could torture a dominatrix? Only a bad economy! It’s been a world of pain for the sex workers who have been complaining about the recession. While prostitutes are reporting record business and lay people are doing it like bunnies, the niche market has been beaten down. Keep reading »

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