Tag Archives: domination

Gabrielle Reece Is A Submissive Wife To Husband Laird Hamilton

'50s Men Desirable?
1950s man
Dubiously sourced study says women find '50s-era men desirable. Read More »
Traditional Men
I'm a feminist, but I want to date a more traditional dude. Read More »
Alisa Valdes On Submitting
the feminist and the cowboy
Alisa Valdes' conflict with feminism and her submitting to her man. Read More »
gabrielle reece
Gabrielle Reece On Submitting To Her Husband

Professional volleyball player Gabrielle Reese is promoting a new memoir, My Foot Is Too Big For The Glass Slipper, which hops on the bandwagon of a somewhat popular theme for memoirs-by-strong-ladies these days: she says her life and marriage have improved by being “submissive” to her husband, pro surfer Laird Hamilton.  Keep reading »

The Soapbox: On Abuse Within Kink (Or This One Time Some Really Bad Stuff Happened To Me)

On BDSM
kinky photo
BDSM is not "consensual domestic violence." Read More »
I Was Date Raped
Amelia was date raped in college by a guy she liked. Read More »
Fat Mike On BDSM
Fat Mike of NOFX
NOFX's Fat Mike talks about his BDSM lifestyle and persecution for kink. Read More »
woman panties

Recently I went home with a kinky man after our first date. The experience phased in and out of being consensual throughout the night. I distinctly left his apartment feeling violated and I continued to feel violated for several days after.

We found each other online because both of us were interested in dominant/submissive (D/s) sex, particularly in spanking. I thought this man would be dominant in bed, as per his online dating profile and a conversation we’d had about it on our date. But instead of just dominant, he was controlling. Before we started playing, I told him the “safe word” I wanted to use. A safe word is a word or phrase used by kinky people during sexual play that they want the play to stop immediately; I never play with a partner without one. To my surprise, this guy told me that safe word I chose was “terrible” and to use something else. That raised a red flag right off the bat.

Another red flag came at one point during play when he called me a “bitch.” I’m not against being called names in bed. In fact, with a partner whom I know and trust, being called a “bad girl” or a “slut” can be really hot! But we never had a conversation about using words like that, and if we had, I would have told him that the word “bitch” was not OK with me.   Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Was A Dominatrix For A Day

I flogged a man last night.

Despite my Bettie Page-lite haircut and a propensity for sexual experimentation, this is not something I have done before. I did have a very brief flirtation with the field of professional dominatrix-ing, but I never got beyond the training phase due to both a poor collegiate work ethic and feeling massively silly. And in my personal life I tend to swing firmly toward the “S” in the “D/S” yin-yang.

But in all my genital adventuring, I have never gone for the type of melodramatic, overwrought boning that I think of as “sex nerdery.” Spank me, call me names, hold me down, but don’t make me wear some kind of pleather costume or call you “master” while you do it. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Wanted To Be Dominated

I texted him as soon as I woke up.

“What do you want me to wear today?”

I brushed my teeth and washed my face while I waited for him to text me back.

“White button-down shirt. Tuck it in. Your jeans. Flats. Put your hair in a ponytail. Send me a photo.”

I dressed as instructed, then stood before the wall-length mirror in my apartment’s hallway. Smiling into the mirror, I snapped a photo on my iPhone and sent it to Ben*.

Thirty seconds later, a text message: “Very nice.” Then I knew I could leave for work.

Ben was not abusive. I was not being hurt, nor was I unhappy. We were in a dominant/submissive relationship — or playing at one, anyway — and following his orders got me unbelievably, unbelievably turned on. Keep reading »

5 Moves Women Love In Bed, But Can Be Too Afraid To Ask For

sex photo

I’ve never been afraid to ask for what I want in bed. I guess because during my teenage years I figured out I was/am a perv and I just owned it. But in my decade-plus of hooking up with dudes, I’ve come to see being clear about what I want is a bit rare: Guys have told me other women become self-conscious when asking for something risqué or kinky.

So, I’m going to help you out, boys. Here are some things your lady might want, but she’s too self-conscious to ask for. Don’t pressure anything, of course — but if you offer, you may be pleasantly surprised at how enthusiastically she accepts … Keep reading »

23 Bad Sex Moves
Don't try these at home. Or anywhere. Read More »

Why Do Strong Women Like To Be Dominated?

Imagine a woman: She has a college degree and a job, she pays for her own house and car, and she’s not intimidated by any man for any reason. She’s smart, independent and strong.

Isn’t it a puzzle, then, that she has sexual fantasies of being dominated?

Actually, researchers say, it makes perfect sense. Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Do You Like To Be Dominated?

I haven’t met many men that like to be dominated on a regular basis, but most gals I know like to take charge in the bedroom, at least from time to time. Aside from obvious dominate/submissive relationships, how do regular ol’ Joes feel about women taking charge between the sheets, both is subtle ways — directing the positions and the pace — and with more obvious methods — spanking, restraints, etc.? I went to the guys on my IM to find out how they feel about being dominated. Keep reading »

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