I knew that I was going to have to watch “Fifty Shades of Grey” eventually, it was just an issue of watching in a way that would be, you know, tolerable. And it occurred to me pretty quickly last week: One of my very best friends in the world is a veteran professional and recreational… READ MORE »

Love & Sex

Today on is an excellent piece about why “kinky” should be considered a sexual orientation. Writer Jillian Keenan posits how we define a person’s sexual orientation should include what kind of energies turn a person on — dominant or submissive, for example — because for people like Keenan and myself, our sexuality is more… READ MORE »


It’s difficult to walk away from an episode of “Real Housewives of New Jersey” without thinking to oneself, “Every single one of these women needs massive amounts of therapy” … yet we do it in a way that keeps us TiVoing their table-flipping drama week after week. But a new book published by Melissa Gorga, called LoveREAD MORE »

Love & Sex

A few years ago ….

Today, in 2012, I avoid him as much as I can. But my friend (?) Richard used to joke (?) that I only called him when I broke up with my boyfriends. Kinda true, kinda false. Regardless — a few years ago — I don’t even call him… READ MORE »


“Men are aroused by being dominant and by submissive women, women are aroused by being submissive and by dominant men,” writes Ogi Ogas, Ph.D. in Psychology Today. “In the bedroom, inequality beats equality.” Those broad sweeping statements are fighting words, PT! Speaking strictly for myself, I agree with Ogi. But I wonder if other folks… READ MORE »

Love & Sex

One of the defining tensions in my life has always been reconciling my feminist political beliefs, my desire for a respectful and egalitarian relationship, and my attraction to more traditional alpha males. I passionately believe in women’s equality, in reproductive rights, and in equal pay for equal work. And I want to be in a… READ MORE »

Love & Sex

Imagine a woman: She has a college degree and a job, she pays for her own house and car, and she’s not intimidated by any man for any reason. She’s smart, independent and strong.

Isn’t it a puzzle, then, that she has sexual fantasies of being dominated?

Actually, researchers say, it makes perfectREAD MORE »