Last week an anonymous prosecutor who has prosecuted a domestic violence caseload explained to us, from her professional point of view, how we should respond when we have friends or family members in abusive relationships. Some of the comments objected to her use of the pronoun “he” as the aggressor and “she” as the victim. Here the prosecutor, who requested anonymity, is back to respond.
Absolutely, men can be and are victims of domestic violence. The choice to use the pronoun she exclusively was a choice that I made as the author because the majoriy of reported domestic violence victims are women. The data also shows that women are more likely than men to report incidents of domestic violence, according to Measuring Intimate Partner Violence by National Institute of Justice. Keep reading »
On December 1st, the sports world was in shock as reports came in that Jovan Belcher, a linebacker for the Kansas City Chiefs, died in a murder-suicide, killing himself at the Chiefs training facility after murdering the mother of his three-month-old child in their home. Most people tried to figure out what would make a good kid like Belcher, who appeared to “have it all,” end his life in this way. But I found myself asking, “But what about the girlfriend? Does she even have a name?”
Her name was Kasandra Perkins. The 22-year-old mother had given birth in September and now she was dead. Gone. Keep reading »
Two weeks ago, I wrote an essay about how I witnessed a man committing domestic violence against a woman outside my apartment. I received many incredible emails from readers, including one from a prosecutor who has previously had a DV caseload. She advised me to contact my local precinct and give a statement about what I saw; in her experience, that witness testimony has helped put the abuser behind bars. I asked this prosecutor — who requested anonymity — if she had any advice about how to help victims of DV from a professional standpoint. Here’ what she is sharing with readers of The Frisky. — Jessica
When I read Jessica’s article on domestic violence, I didn’t think of the victim, the bystanders and their inaction, or the abuser. I thought about the prosecutor on whose desk that case would land. I knew statistically speaking, by the time the prosecutor sees the case, the victim has likely recanted. I thought about the volume of evidence that was right before me, in Jessica’s article. I thought about that prosecutor because I am a prosecutor. Keep reading »
As if dealing with a cheating and violent husband is not enough to endure, a Bangladeshi woman had acid thrown into her face by her husband when she dared to divorce him.
Nurbanu, 36, discovered her husband with another woman and divorced him — only to find herself doused in acid by him eight days later. Now, blind and with a completely scarred and mutilated face, Nurbanu has been forced to remarry her husband. Keep reading »
This morning, something weird happened: I woke up at 5:30 a.m. as alert as if I had been mainlining espresso. Anyone who knows me knows waking up at even 8 a.m. is a struggle for me. When I couldn’t fall back asleep, I got out of bed to shower and do my hair and makeup. It was still not yet 7 o’clock. So I sized up my overflowing hamper and decided I’d drop off my dirty laundry at the laundromat before work. I loaded my bag into my “old lady cart,” grabbed only my housekeys, and head out my front door in the drizzly morning.
That’s when I saw a guy roughing up a woman right there on the street. Keep reading »
I have something to say to my lady blogger friends who write about domestic violence. Please tread more carefully with your words, and please don’t be so sure you know what you’re talking about. Unless you a) have been in an abusive relationship or b) are a professional who is trained to treat people in abusive relationships, you could be doing more harm than good.
The most recent debate that had my hair standing on end was the conversation that erupted around Dr. Drew Pinsky’s comments on Lance Bass’ new SiriusXM radio show. Keep reading »
“The Vagina Monologues” playwright and global anti-sexual violence activist Eve Ensler debuted a new campaign today called One Billion Rising. This short film — powerfully done, but with some NSFW violent imagery — shows just some of the acts of violence that women worldwide endure on a daily basis. On February 14, activists worldwide will hold events for One Billion Rising and remember the one in three women worldwide who will be subject to rape or abuse in her lifetime. Ensler, who is also behind the V-Day celebration every Feb. 14th, where “Monologues” is staged around the country to raise money for anti-sexual violence resources, is embarking on a worldwide trip. She’ll hit up Peru, Mexico, India, China, Philippines, Britain, France, and the Democratic Republic of Congo before coming to New York City for V-Day. You can learn more about the campaign and find events in your country here. Rise up! [One Billion Rising]
Dr. Drew Pinsky hit up Lance Bass’ SiriusXM radio show and made some eyebrow-raising comments regarding Chris Brown and Rihanna. He started off on a high note, discussing how difficult it is for a woman to leave her abuser. “On average, it takes a woman in a domestic violence situation eight attempts at leaving before she leaves,” Dr. Drew said. “They go back — they misinterpret the intensity as love. They think it’s so intense and great, ‘He loves me so much, that’s why he got so upset.’ We haven’t heard the end of this.”
Lance Bass then asked him if he thinks Rihanna has battered woman syndrome and Dr. Drew replied, “Let’s face it, she’s attracted to that … Listen, I don’t fault either person. I don’t [say,] ‘Oh, it’s a bad person.’ These are human experiences. These are very common situations these days.” Keep reading »
CDs! Hahahahaha! Remember those? But seriously: someone at HMV stores in London was not kidding around when they posted stickers reading “Warning: Do not buy this album! This man beats women!” on Chris Brown’s latest album. Rumor has it the CDs were sticker-bombed by feminist activists. Bad-ass! [Gawker]