Tag Archives: domestic abuse

Chris Brown Actually Says Something Intelligent About Ray Rice, Anger & Bottling Up Your Feelings

Chris Brown Ray Rice
"It'll Bottle Up And You'll Become A Monster"

“I think it’s all about the choices you make. With me, I deal with a lot of anger issues from my past – not knowing how to express myself verbally and at the same time not knowing how to cope with my emotions and deal with them and understand what they are. So I think help is great. I still talk to my therapist twice a week, and it helps me to…if I’m frustrated and I’m dealing with something, to vent and say what I’m going through so I can hear from an actual clinical person, ‘this is how you should react,’ or ‘it’s good to feel this way’ because feelings, emotions, and energy are supposed to come and go. It’s not supposed to stay there, you’re not supposed to keep it inside, because it’ll bottle up and you’ll become a monster. For me, dealing with my anger issues and understanding myself and the life I’ve been through, where I’m headed and where I want to be has helped me focus on what’s really important and not F up. For anybody who’s going through that situation or anybody who’s dealing with it — it’s all about the choices. Every situation is different but it’s all about the choices you make and how you control your anger. To Ray, or anybody else — because I’m not better than the next man — I can just say I’ve been down that road. I deal with situations and I’ve made my mistakes too, but it’s all about how you push forward and how you control yourself.”

Wow. This is the first time that Chris Brown has publicly spoken about self-control struggles and abusive behavior and I actually feel that he has shown growth. Brown spoke yesterday with MTV News’ Sway about Ray Rice, the former Baltimore Ravens player who was terminated from the team this week after TMZ released a gruesome video of Rice punching his then-fiancée, Janay Palmer Rice in the head, knocking her unconscious, and then dragging her unconscious body out of an elevator. There’s been many reactions this week from domestic violence victims, including the hashtags #WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft. But Chris Brown is in a unique position to explain the serious underlying psychological issues that lead abusers to harm others. I’m actually glad he weighed in here. (Not that I think Ray Rice, who recently announced he would give up hard liquor and became a born-again Christian, is willing to listen.) [MTV]

Pressure Mounts To Fire NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Including Mentions Of A Cover Girl Boycott

cover girl boycott

Pressure is mounting every single day against NFL commissioner Roger Goodell over his handling of Ray Rice, the former Baltimore Ravens player who assaulted his now-wife. The NFL has insisted it had never seen the brutal video in which Rice punches his then-fiancée Janay Palmer in the head, knocking her unconscious, until TMZ released it on Monday. But on Wednesday, the Associated Press confirmed that a law enforcement official said that the NFL was sent the video in April and someone there acknowledged that it had been received and viewed.

Goodell has been sharply criticized for how he punished Rice, who received only a two-game suspension by the league (before he was dropped by the Ravens this week). Only in late August did the NFL update its personal conduct policy: now players will be suspended for six games for a first offense and banned by the league for a year for a second offense. Keep reading »

Sean Hannity’s Guest: Janay Palmer Rice “Knocked Herself Out On The Railing”

AJ Delgado Hannity

“[S]ome might even say, watching that video, Ray Rice is the bigger victim of domestic violence here. .. [S]ome might say I’m defending Ray Rice here. Maybe I am, but if you watch the video, the video actually makes him look better than he did before. She repeatedly attacked him. He’s a victim — flat-out fact — of domestic violence. Only after she’s hit him several times and spit on him does he finally hit back. And she happens because of that blow to knock herself out on the [elevator's] railing. That was an unintended consequence, I’m sure.”

This is A.J. Delgado, a female columnist for the conservative National Review, speaking as a guest yesterday on Sean Hannity’s radio show. Not even Rice’s defense lawyers could have come up with this, uh, creative theory that Janay Palmer Rice actually knocked herself out when she failed to properly absorb her then-fiance’s punch to her head. Really, if Janay hadn’t been so foolish to smack her head into the elevator railing, maybe she wouldn’t have been out cold! It’s so, so sad when a clumsy woman makes it look like her man is abusing her. [Raw Story]

NFL Received Ray Rice Video Three Months Ago, Law Enforcement Officials Confirm

Ray Rice Video Released
Ray Rice punch
TMZ released a video of NFL player Ray Rice knocking out his wife. Read More »
#WhyIStayed
20 Powerful #WhyIStayed And #WhyILeft Tweets From Twitter's Domestic Violence Conversation
A sample of the powerful tweets posted to this DV awareness hashtag. Read More »
"I Married My Abuser"
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Some insight into why abuse victims stay in violent relationships. Read More »
TLN Ray Rice
  • The AP has confirmed that an anonymous law enforcement official sent the video of NFL player Ray Rice punching his then-fiancée unconcscious to the NFL three months ago. The AP also listened to a voicemail confirming that the video was received by someone there on April 9: a female voice says thanks and “You’re right. It’s terrible.” The NFL has consistently maintained they did not see the violent video until Monday, when it became public by TMZ. The league has been receiving harsh criticism for originally only suspending Rice for two games. [AP]
  • According to NBC Nightly News, the NFL’s response to the AP’s confirmation is “We have no knowledge of this … We will look into it.” Uh huh. Lemme guess … the dog ate the tape? An intern lost it? It walked away and moved to Bali? [Twitter.com/NBCNightlyNews]
  • Following TMZ’s release of a video on Monday, the National Domestic Violence Hotline received nearly double an increase in calls from domestic violence victims, their family, and friends. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »

Why I Married My Abuser

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How To Help
What To Do When Someone You Love Stays In An Abusive Relationship
What to do when a loved one stays in an abusive relationship. Read More »

My ex-husband was the most romantic person I’ve ever met. He also hit me on the day we got married, while I was wearing my wedding dress.

That’s why when I saw the footage of ex-Baltimore Ravens player Ray Rice punching his then-fiancée Janay Palmer, I wasn’t surprised that she was now his wife. It isn’t — as many of the commenters on the original TMZ video have said — “all about the money,” or “she doesn’t care about taking a punch,” and it’s especially not that “she is telling all women it’s okay for your man to beat you.”

Domestic violence is so much more complicated than a lack of money, or not having self-respect, or feeling like it’s OK for your man to beat up on you. I’m not an expert on what makes women stay in abusive relationships or even marry their abuser. But I did both of these things and I can speak to my particular story. Keep reading »

“Fox & Friends” Hosts Joke About Ray Rice Beating His Fiancée, Don’t Apologize

MORNING QUICKIES
fox and friends ray rice
Fox's Faux Apology
  • “Fox & Friends” host Brian Kilmeade joked yesterday that the message behind the brutal video released by TMZ depicting since-terminated Ravens player Ray Rice beating his then-fiancée Janay Rice was “take the stairs.” His co-host Steve Doocy quipped, “The message is, when you’re in a an elevator, there’s a camera.” On today’s show, Kilmeade addressed the response to their tasteless jokes, claiming the show takes domestic violence “seriously” … but did not actually apologize for cracking wise about violence against women. Typical! [Raw Story]
  • Broadway executives decided not to dim the lights for Joan Rivers, who died on Thursday, after they concluded that her career did not meet the criteria for this honor. Pfffffft. [New York Times] Keep reading »
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