When I was in college, I was obsessed with this one guy. OB-SESSED. He had a girlfriend, but he was just so dreamy, and I had concocted this fantasy that he would break up with her and be with me. (Shut up. I was 18.) I was messed up in the head over this fool for the longest time, convinced he would fall in love with me if he just knew me well enough.
That did not happen.
What did happen was that I used to walk past the retail store where he worked just so I could catch a momentary glimpse of him and then scuttle away like a cockroach. My friends yelled at me for doing this. I was in a miserable and unhealthy place in my life: many, many years away from getting control of the anxiety and depression that shredded up my late teens and early 20s. I was in no place to realize — as I later would — that if a man doesn’t want you, he doesn’t want you. Keep reading »
Apparently, reading 50 Shades of Grey warrants being squirted in the face with 50 Shades of Brown.
Raymond Hodgson, 31, was recently charged with common assault after finding his partner, Emma McCormick, reading the BDSM erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey, before slapping her in the face and squirting a mysterious brown sauce on her because he found the books “pornographic” and “distasteful.” Keep reading »
Lauren Luke, a very popular beauty vlogger, teamed up with the anti-abuse group Refuge to create a beauty video about covering up bruises caused by domestic violence. While watching this video, I knew that it was completely set-up. What I did not know, though, was that it would leave me with total body chills for awhile afterward. Keep reading »
I haven’t exactly kept it a secret around here the way that I’m sexually wired. For the most part, though, the only person whose opinion matters on the subject is my sexual partner. (And any roommates who have to listen to occasional smacking.) Yet, every so often, BDSM — that’s bondage, dominance, sadomasochism — pops up in mainstream popular culture and us kinksters and spankos get to hear the mainstream’s opinion on our lives.
“Secretary,” starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader, a flick about a secretary who enters into a dominance/submission relationship with her boss, came out while I was in college. Although the flick was understandably controversial, it explained to a lot of people, “Hey, we’re just regular folks like you. Except, you know, not so regular!”
More recently, it’s the BDSM erotic novel 50 Shades Of Grey that has people talking. It seems everyone has an opinion on the subject — including those who are completely misguided about who kinksters are and what we do. Take, for instance, feminist blogger Morgane Richardson and a piece she wrote calling 50 Shades “a glimpse into domestic violence.”
Keep reading »
It’s almost too easy to get angry about fashion editorials that glorify violence against women — especially so grotesquely, as in this Bulgarian magazine 12. Six different photos depict gorgeous models staring blankly into the camera, each sporting a serious injury. Here’s the black eye image, but the others are all quite graphic: one a slit throat, another has a mouth ripped open, and yet another looks as if her face has been burned with acid. Keep reading »
A Florida woman was sentenced to 20 years in prison on Friday for firing a warning shot — note: not actually injuring anyone — at her abusive husband.
Marissa Alexander, 31, said that in August 2010, her now ex-husband Rico Gray read messages from her ex on her cell phone, became enraged, strangled her and threatened her life. When Alexander broke free, she tried to run out of the house but couldn’t get out of the garage; so she grabbed a gun from the garage and fired it into the air to attempt to scare Gray off.
No one was injured, but the “warning shot” hit a wall near where his two kids were standing. As such, she was charged and found guilty by a jury of three counts of aggravated assault with a firearm, which carries a 20-year sentence. Keep reading »