Tag Archives: domestic abuse

Roger Goodell On NFL’s Handling Of Ray Rice: “I Made A Mistake”

todays lady news
  • In a press conference today NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell said he is not considering a resignation of the league’s handling of Ray Rice’s assault on his then-fiancée, which has been pretty much a hot mess from the get-go. Rice was originally suspended by the NFL for only two games; his team, the Baltimore Raven, terminated his contract after a video was released by TMZ showing him punching his wife in the face in the elevator. In his press conference, Goodell repeatedly said he was “not satisfied” with their response and admitted, “I made a mistake.” He didn’t specifically address what that singular “mistake” was, but said he is committed to “the opportunity we have to make a difference and do the right thing.” Domestic violence and sexual violence prevention programs for all 32 teams in the league will take place within the next 30 days. [New York Times]
  • Three Black women claim they were accused of being sex workers (specifically:”soliciting”) while sitting at the bar of the upscale Standard Hotel in New York City. A hotel employee later offered the women a bottle of champagne and a $400 dinner at the hotel’s restaurant. [Clutch Magazine] Keep reading »

Arizona Cardinals Running Back Jonathan Dwyer Arrested For Head Butting His Wife

Arizona Cardinals running back Jonathan Dwyer headbutted his wife, breaking her nose, after she turned him down for sex. He proceeded to lock himself in a bathroom and threaten to kill himself in front of his wife and son if she told the police about the assault.

So that’s four NFL players in some kind of legal trouble over domestic violence in 11 days. Meanwhile, the NFL has been making statements about women as “matriarchs,” citing our community-building skills, ability to produce and raise children, purchasing power, and overall domesticity as the reasons that the NFL likes us. I’m so flattered. I know I was a beacon of domesticity when I yelled so hard at the Patriots for losing to the Giants in Super Bowl XLVI that I had a blood pressure spike and almost fainted. Keep reading »

Stop What You’re Doing And Watch The “Ray Rice Makeup Tutorial”

ray rice makeup tutorial
"I Really Like This Color!"

Megan MacKay, can we be friends? Because your “Ray Rice makeup tutorial” (hey, watch it first before you get offended!) is the most cutting commentary of our complete cultural fucktitude over Ray Rice that I’ve seen. You can watch more of Megan’s work on YouTube for her takes on LEGO’s female scientists, Hobby Lobby and Planned Parenthood. [UpWorthy]

Meredith Vieira Shares Her #WhyIStayed Story

Meredith Vieira: #WhyIStayed

Meredith Vieira released a segment from her talk show today in which she discusses #WhyIStayed and her own prior abusive relationship. She explained that in her situation, the abuse became gradually more frequent, transformed from threats into physical violence, and made her feel as if she was at fault for it. Most importantly, she dispels some of the myths and stereotypes about women who stay in abusive relationships:

“I’m a smart woman. A lot of people say, ‘Well, who would stay in that situation?’ Somebody who maybe doesn’t have the wherewithal to get out, the means to get out – I had that. I had a job at the time. And I kept in this relationship… I think part of it was fear – I was scared of him, and scared if I tried to leave something worse could happen to me. Part of it was guilt, because every time we’d have a fight, he would then start crying, and say ‘I promise I won’t do it again,’ and I’d feel like maybe I contributed, somehow, to this.”

Keep reading »

Kerry Washington Wants You To Know About Financial Abuse

“It’s the reason why so many people stay. That whole hashtag #WhyIStayed that happened last week, you saw how many of those responses were about feeling trapped financially … I think people just aren’t as aware of financial abuse. If a woman isn’t even aware of the dynamics of financial abuse — what it looks like, what it is — she may not even know that that’s part of the tools being used to control her and manipulate her and keep her trapped. When there is more information around it, people can begin to identify it and then get the help they need.”

In an interview with the Huffington Post, the amazing Kerry Washington kept the recent public conversations about domestic abuse in the spotlight by addressing the financial side of the situation. Financial abuse is talked about far less than physical violence, but it occurs in 98 percent of violent relationships, and can leave victims feeling just as trapped as a fist. Abusers can try to get their victims fired, accrue mountains of debt in the victim’s name, or hoard the couple’s finances leaving a victim with no cash of her own. Even after escaping the relationship, a victim can be left with a destroyed credit score or a wiped out savings account that could take years to recover from and leave them with little means to build a new foundation on their own. Kerry is the spokeswoman for The Allstate Foundation’s “Purple Purse” campaign, which aims to raise awareness of abuse and provide options to victims look for a way out. She specially designed a limited-edition purse for the initiative in hopes that it will serve as a symbol of a woman’s financial power. As if there weren’t already enough reasons to love her, she also recorded a kick-ass PSA for the organization, after the jump! [HuffPost] [Image via AKM-GSI] Keep reading »

The Soapbox: TIME Shouldn’t Question #WhyIStayed

SB Janay Palmer Rice

While the direct blame for abuse rests solely on the abusers, we live in a culture that supports and perpetuates the cycle of violence. It is on all of us to listen, support and validate the voices of those who come forward. Victims shouldn’t feel censored or have their stories dismissed just because there isn’t a direct line solution to their complicated realities. We cannot get to #WhyILeft without confronting the reasons #WhyIStayed.

At first glance, Charlotte Alter’s piece on Time.com, “Instead of Asking Women Why They Stay, We Should Ask Men Why They Hit,” sounds sensible. In 140 characters, it even seemed empowering — almost spectacularly right on the money.

Why are we asking Janay Rice and other victims of intimate partner violence to explain themselves?? Abuse survivors shouldn’t need to justify their circumstances and choices in a hashtag. Shouldn’t we be as shocked and appalled at that conversation as Alter seems to be?

Actually, no. It turns out, she has missed the point entirely. Keep reading »

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