Tag Archives: domestic violence

The Soapbox: BDSM Is Not “Consensual Domestic Violence”

Dominant Sex
I just want to be dominated in bed! Read More »
Submissive Sex
Newsflash: feminists are not against submissve sex. Read More »
First Time: Spanking Party
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This is what happens at a spanking party. Read More »
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I don’t want to write this post.

I really don’t want to write this post.

I really don’t want to write this post because all the ways that Slate columnist/link-baiter William Saletan is wrong about BDSM are so numerous and so glaringly inaccurate that I have half a mind not to dignify it with a response.

Alas, here I go:

Saletan asks whether, between 50 Shades of Grey and various colleges starting their own BDSM clubs,  kink is going “mainstream,” as if sexuality is like rap music or the Atkins diet which spreads around the country once it becomes “cool”. He quickly concludes no, BDSM won’t ever be accepted by your Great Aunt Myrtle in Iowa City, because it’s actually “dangerous” — actual quote — and actually “consensual domestic violence” — actual quote.

Sigh.

His viewpoint only serves to further stigmatize what’s barely even taboo anymore,  promoting the Dark Ages/maybe-in-rural-Alabama idea there’s “right” and “wrong” sexuality between consenting adults.

To which I have to say, shut the fuck up, William Saletan. Keep reading »

Teen Girl In Maldives To Be Flogged 100 Times For Premarital Sex

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Last week, a 15-year-old girl in the Maldives was sentenced to being flogged with 100 lashes for having consensual sex outside of marriage. Now the Islamic ministry and judiciary are being pressured to halt the public flogging or at least wait to carry it out until the youngster turns 18. If the criminalization of a woman’s sexuality is not bad enough (and yes, the AP confirms that it is usually the women who are flogged), it actually gets worse: the Muslim teen complained about sexual abuse by her stepfather and another man. In other words, she is allegedly the victim of sexual abuse by older men and now could be physically punished for having consensual sex. This is completely disgusting. [Seattle Times]

Photographer Captures Man Beating His Girlfriend In Startling Photo Essay

Domestic Violence Advice
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... from a prosecutor who has seen it all. Read More »
I Witnessed DV
domestic violence
Jessica watched a man commit domestic violence while bystanders did nothing. Read More »
On Abused Women
Facts about abused women. Read More »
Sara Naomi Lewkowicz domestic violence photo essay

This sent shivers down my spine.  A moving photo essay by the photographer Sara Naomi Lewkowicz on TIME magazine’s website follows a young couple’s relationship, culminating in the man beating his girlfriend. As she explains in a piece accompanying the piece, Lewkowicz originally meant to document Shane’s life as an ex-con. But it turned into something entirely different when Shane, 31, began physically abusing Maggie, 19, the mother of two young children, with the photographer and kids present. Keep reading »

Violence Against Women Act Might Actually Pass The House Of Representatives

Senators Against VAWA
These guys didn't even want to bring VAWA to a vote. Read More »
Vawa Passes!
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The violence against women act passed in the Senate. Read More »
Domestic Violence Advice
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... from a prosecutor who has seen it all. Read More »
abused woman

Keep your fingers crossed: Politico is reporting that the Violence Against Women Act is expected to pass in the House of Representatives this week.

VAWA was originally championed by then-Senator Joe Biden back in 1994 and gets renewed very six years. The bill allocates funds to help victims of rape and domestic violence, including money to process rape kits, and prosecute men accused of abusing women. Sounds like a no brainer, right? Well, it’s not. Apparently violence against women is A-OK for some of our politicians. Last year, VAWA hit a snag in the House, which refused to pass a Senate version of the bill allocating funds to undocumented women, same-sex partners, and Native American women who are abused by non-Native American men. Keep reading »

GOP Congressman Says VAWA Has A “Motherhood-And-Apple-Pie Title” — What?

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  • Congressman John Duncan from Tennessee says he is undecided on which way he’ll vote on the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act, which passed the Senate last week 78-22.  His reasoning?  ”Every bill is given a motherhood-and apple-pie title,” and if “you voted on the title, you’d vote for every bill up here.”  Funny thing is, the title holds true to the content of the bill and has since 1994.  Sadly, this is not the most ridiculous quote from the interview.  Despite being unsure of his vote he is against domestic violence because “most men can handle [violence] a little better than a lot of women can.”  Yeah, go ahead.  Read that last line again. [Think Progress] Keep reading »

Oscar Pistorius Denies Reeva Steenkamp’s Death Was Premeditated Murder

Athlete Accused
Oscar Pistorius
Olympic athlete Oscar Pistorius charged with murdering GF Reeva Steenkamp. Read More »
Premeditated Murder
Oscar Pistorius and Reeva Steenkamp
Olympian Oscar Pistorius accused of murdering model girlfriend. Read More »
Domestic Violence Advice
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... from a prosecutor who has seen it all. Read More »

This morning, Olympic athlete Oscar Pistorius faced his first bail hearing regarding the death of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp and disputed the premeditated murder charge against him. The higher charge caries the most intense bail requirements of South African law, according to The Atlantic.

Here’s an update on where the case is at… Keep reading »

Oscar Pistorius Accused Of Premeditated Murder

Athlete Accused
Oscar Pistorius
Olympic athlete Oscar Pistorius charged with murdering GF Reeva Steenkamp. Read More »
Who Are Oscar & Reeva?
Oscar Pistorius
9 things to know about Reeva Steenkamp and Oscar Pistorius. Read More »
Domestic Violence Advice
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... from a prosecutor who has seen it all. Read More »
  • Olympic athlete Oscar Pistorius sobbed in court today as prosecutors accused him of planning to murder his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, 30, whom he allegedly shot four times yesterday morning in his home. Former girlfriends and mothers of ex-girlfriends have been weighing in with the press, painting a disconcerting picture of Pistorius. [Sky News, NYmag.com Daily Intel]
  • PETA is claiming that ABC won’t air a commercial starring Joaquin Phoenix simulating drowning (you know, like a fish on land) during the Oscars because it’s too controversial. [AdWeek]
  • This Russian video of a meteorite landing is pretty badass! [ANIMAL]

Keep reading »

Oscar Pistorius & Reeva Steenkamp: 9 Things To Know About The Couple

Athlete Accused
Oscar Pistorius
Olympic athlete Oscar Pistorius charged with murdering GF Reeva Steenkamp. Read More »
Domestic Violence Advice
court room
... from a prosecutor who has seen it all. Read More »
I Was Abused
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Judy McGuire was physically abused by a boyfriend. Read More »
Oscar Pistorius

Oscar Pistorious, 26, a Paralympian and Olympian and inspiration to athletes around the world, was arrested today — Valentine’s Day — and charged with murdering his girlfriend, model Reeva Steenkamp.

Police responded to a 3 a.m. call about gunshots in Pistorius’ upscale neighborhood of Silver Woods in Pretoria, South Africa, where Steenkamp, 30, was found dead with four bullet wounds. A police spokesperson told The New York Times that police had previously responded “allegations of a domestic nature” at Pistorius’ home. Police recovered a 9mm pistol from the scene.

After the jump, nine things to know about Reeva Steenkamp and Oscar Pistorius.

Keep reading »

“One Billion Rising” Today To End Violence Against Women And Girls

One Billion Rising
Just some of the acts of violence that women worldwide endure. Read More »
A Prayer For Men
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Watch video of Eve Ensler's "Man Prayer." Read More »
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End Violence Against Women & Girls Now

If you’re not into the commercial cutesiness of Valentine’s Day, there’s an alternate, empowering holiday to celebrate on February 14th: V-Day, a global movement to end violence against women and girls.  ”The Vagina Monologues” playwright Eve Ensler created V-Day, which is celebrated each year on Valentine’s Day as the play is staged around the world to raise money for local rape crisis centers.  

This year, V-Day also marks the grand finale of Ensler’s year long One Billion Rising campaign. The One Billion Rising name and collective goal derives from a statistic that one in three women will suffer abuse or rape in their lifetime; out of the seven billion people populating the world, that means roughly one billion women will be victims.   Keep reading »

Good News: The Senate Passed The Violence Against Women Act (Again)

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  • The Senate passed the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act by a wide majority of 78-22 yet again.  The measure first  passed in 1994 was up for reauthorization in 2012; however, in April 2012 the Senate passed a similar bill, which failed in the House of Representatives due to measures added to extend protections to Native American women, undocumented immigrants and same-same sex couples.  According to Politico, the 2013 bill has minimal changes besides dropping a portion that would “grant U visas to undocumented immigrant women who had been abused.”  Here’s hoping this finally passes the House! [Politico]
  • Reportedly there is some pressure from Republicans to get VAWA passed:  Speaker John Boehner and Majority Leader Eric Cantor were sent a letter by 17 Congressmen from their own caucus urging them to “immediately reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act.” [NYMag.com Huffington Post]
  • France’s legalization of same-sex marriage moved one step further: a measure extending marriage and adoption rights to gay couples passed the National Assembly 329-229. [CNN] Keep reading »
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