When I was in college, I was obsessed with this one guy. OB-SESSED. He had a girlfriend, but he was just so dreamy, and I had concocted this fantasy that he would break up with her and be with me. (Shut up. I was 18.) I was messed up in the head over this fool for the longest time, convinced he would fall in love with me if he just knew me well enough.
That did not happen.
What did happen was that I used to walk past the retail store where he worked just so I could catch a momentary glimpse of him and then scuttle away like a cockroach. My friends yelled at me for doing this. I was in a miserable and unhealthy place in my life: many, many years away from getting control of the anxiety and depression that shredded up my late teens and early 20s. I was in no place to realize — as I later would — that if a man doesn’t want you, he doesn’t want you. Keep reading »
Apparently, reading 50 Shades of Grey warrants being squirted in the face with 50 Shades of Brown.
Raymond Hodgson, 31, was recently charged with common assault after finding his partner, Emma McCormick, reading the BDSM erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey, before slapping her in the face and squirting a mysterious brown sauce on her because he found the books “pornographic” and “distasteful.” Keep reading »
South Carolina’s Republican Governor Nikki Haley — who is buds with Mitt Romney! — vetoed $453,680 last week for domestic violence and sexual assault prevention through the South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence And Assault. According to the Charleston City Paper, Haley’s explanation was that the funds would “distract” the Department of Health and Environmental Control, presumably from more important issues. (Because apparently the effects of physical and/or sexual violence are not health issues?) Haley wrote:
“Each of these lines attempts to serve a portion of our population for which we extend our sympathy and encouragement, but nevertheless, it is only a small portion of South Carolina’s chronically ill or abused. Overall, these special add-on lines distract from the agency’s broader mission of protecting South Carolina’s public health.”
Mind you, Gov. Haley is the same women who told the ladies of “The View,” while speaking about her opposition to health care reform, that “Women don’t care about contraception.” Yeah, she said that. We don’t care about being raped or beaten either, Governor!
The economy is in the shitter. Other stuff got cut, too. Teachers’ salaries took a hit; $500,000 for “marketing and branding at the Department of Agriculture” may have to wait. I get it. But this is real people’s lives that are being affected right now. And reventative services prevent bad, costly stuff from coming down the road later. Keep reading »
Lauren Luke, a very popular beauty vlogger, teamed up with the anti-abuse group Refuge to create a beauty video about covering up bruises caused by domestic violence. While watching this video, I knew that it was completely set-up. What I did not know, though, was that it would leave me with total body chills for awhile afterward. Keep reading »
I haven’t exactly kept it a secret around here the way that I’m sexually wired. For the most part, though, the only person whose opinion matters on the subject is my sexual partner. (And any roommates who have to listen to occasional smacking.) Yet, every so often, BDSM — that’s bondage, dominance, sadomasochism — pops up in mainstream popular culture and us kinksters and spankos get to hear the mainstream’s opinion on our lives.
“Secretary,” starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader, a flick about a secretary who enters into a dominance/submission relationship with her boss, came out while I was in college. Although the flick was understandably controversial, it explained to a lot of people, “Hey, we’re just regular folks like you. Except, you know, not so regular!”
More recently, it’s the BDSM erotic novel 50 Shades Of Grey that has people talking. It seems everyone has an opinion on the subject — including those who are completely misguided about who kinksters are and what we do. Take, for instance, feminist blogger Morgane Richardson and a piece she wrote calling 50 Shades “a glimpse into domestic violence.”
Keep reading »