Tag Archives: domestic violence

NYPD’s Misguided Strategy To Get Domestic Violence Victims To Cooperate

Domestic Violence Arrest
Chad Ochocinco and Evelyn Lozada photo
Chad Ochocinco was arrested for domestic violence this weekend. Read More »
On Abused Women
Facts about why abused women stay with their abusers. Read More »
Abuse Registry?
domestic violence photo
Should there be a registry for people who commit DV? Read More »
domestic violence photo

If you abuse your partner you deserve some serious jail-time.  Nobody could argue with that.  Yet, according to The New York Post, the New York Police Department’s method of getting a victim to cooperate and close a case could potentially do more harm than good.

According to the Post, a March 5 memo written by Chief of Detectives Phil Pulaski outlines the tactic: background check both the victim and perp.  If the victim has any outstanding warrants use that to sway them from backing out of police cooperation.  According to the Post’s source, “They want us to use that as leverage to force them to remain cooperative,” close a case and put an abusive partner behind bars. Keep reading »

Addressing Domestic Violence Means Addressing Gun Violence, Says Joe Biden

  • Vice President Joe Biden announced 12 grants to programs around the country to protect potential victims of domestic violence at the hands of their abusers. Noting that between 2009 and 2012, 40 percent of mass shootings began with a man shooting an intimate partner, Biden emphasized, “The issue of domestic violence and reducing gun violence are connected.” [Think Progress, USA TodayWhite House]
  • Survivors of military sexual violence testified before the Senate this week. [Los Angeles Times]
  • Anna Wintour got a promotion within Conde Nast and already people are “concerned” about what this powerful woman is going to do. [Madame Noire] Keep reading »
Domestic Violence Advice
court room
... from a prosecutor who has seen it all. Read More »
I Witnessed DV
domestic violence
Jessica watched a man commit domestic violence while bystanders did nothing. Read More »
I Was Abused
domestic violence photo
Judy McGuire was physically abused by a boyfriend. Read More »

The Soapbox: On Abuse Within Kink (Or This One Time Some Really Bad Stuff Happened To Me)

On BDSM
kinky photo
BDSM is not "consensual domestic violence." Read More »
I Was Date Raped
Amelia was date raped in college by a guy she liked. Read More »
Fat Mike On BDSM
Fat Mike of NOFX
NOFX's Fat Mike talks about his BDSM lifestyle and persecution for kink. Read More »
woman panties

Recently I went home with a kinky man after our first date. The experience phased in and out of being consensual throughout the night. I distinctly left his apartment feeling violated and I continued to feel violated for several days after.

We found each other online because both of us were interested in dominant/submissive (D/s) sex, particularly in spanking. I thought this man would be dominant in bed, as per his online dating profile and a conversation we’d had about it on our date. But instead of just dominant, he was controlling. Before we started playing, I told him the “safe word” I wanted to use. A safe word is a word or phrase used by kinky people during sexual play that they want the play to stop immediately; I never play with a partner without one. To my surprise, this guy told me that safe word I chose was “terrible” and to use something else. That raised a red flag right off the bat.

Another red flag came at one point during play when he called me a “bitch.” I’m not against being called names in bed. In fact, with a partner whom I know and trust, being called a “bad girl” or a “slut” can be really hot! But we never had a conversation about using words like that, and if we had, I would have told him that the word “bitch” was not OK with me.   Keep reading »

Today Is “No More” Day: Take A Stand Against Violence Against Women

Domestic Violence Advice
court room
... from a prosecutor who has seen it all. Read More »
Vawa Passes!
Today's Lady News photo
The violence against women act passed in the Senate. Read More »
After Sexual Assault
woman sad in bed
Tips for reclaiming your sex life after being sexually assaulted. Read More »
The Status of Women
united nations
The UN's Commission on the Status of Women is happening now! Read More »
NO MORE 3.13.2013

NO MORE. It is a simple, direct message representing a broad and pervasive issue. No more sexual assault. No more violence against women. Today, March 13 marks NO MORE day, a day to join the movement to stop domestic violence and sexual assault, and launch the organization’s new symbol — a thick “O” of light blue. Keep reading »

Sir Patrick Stewart Calls On “One Million Men” To End Violence Against Women

Domestic Violence Advice
court room
... from a prosecutor who has seen it all. Read More »
I Witnessed DV
domestic violence
Jessica watched a man commit domestic violence on her street. Read More »
Why Domestic Violence Victims Stay
domestic violence photo
Should we ask victims of domestic violence why they stay? Read More »

“Every nine seconds in the United States a woman is assaulted or beaten. Every nine seconds. Violence against women is the single greatest human rights violation of our generation. This is a call to action—not an action that will make things better in six months’ time or a year’s time, but action that might save someone’s life and someone’s future this afternoon, tonight, tomorrow morning.”

– I’m still on vacation in Paris, but I always can find time to post about my favorite Starfleet captain — Captain Jean Luc Picard, I mean. Sir Patrick Stewart, who of course portrayed Picard on “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” was the host for the launch of “Ring The Bell,” a global campaign calling on one million men to make one million “concrete, actionable promises” to end violence against women. Stewart also spoke from his own experience with domestic violence, which he witnessed between his mother and father as a child.  Keep reading »

The Soapbox: BDSM Is Not “Consensual Domestic Violence”

Dominant Sex
I just want to be dominated in bed! Read More »
Submissive Sex
Newsflash: feminists are not against submissve sex. Read More »
First Time: Spanking Party
spanking photo
This is what happens at a spanking party. Read More »
kinky photo

I don’t want to write this post.

I really don’t want to write this post.

I really don’t want to write this post because all the ways that Slate columnist/link-baiter William Saletan is wrong about BDSM are so numerous and so glaringly inaccurate that I have half a mind not to dignify it with a response.

Alas, here I go:

Saletan asks whether, between 50 Shades of Grey and various colleges starting their own BDSM clubs,  kink is going “mainstream,” as if sexuality is like rap music or the Atkins diet which spreads around the country once it becomes “cool”. He quickly concludes no, BDSM won’t ever be accepted by your Great Aunt Myrtle in Iowa City, because it’s actually “dangerous” — actual quote — and actually “consensual domestic violence” — actual quote.

Sigh.

His viewpoint only serves to further stigmatize what’s barely even taboo anymore,  promoting the Dark Ages/maybe-in-rural-Alabama idea there’s “right” and “wrong” sexuality between consenting adults.

To which I have to say, shut the fuck up, William Saletan. Keep reading »

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