Tag Archives: dolphins

This Woman Jerked Off A Dolphin — And Liked It!

Animal researcher Margaret Howe Lovatt is the focus of an upcoming BBC Four documentary called “The Girl Who Talked To Dolphins,” but the subtitle of this film could easily be “…And Then They Did Some Other Stuff.” See, back in the 1960s, Lovatt studied dolphins near the U.S. Virgin Islands, and one day she met a cute fella named Peter. Yes, Peter. As she puts it in the doc:

In the beginning when he would get rambunctious and had this need, I would put him on the elevator and say, “You go play with the girls for a day”…I was just easier to incorporate [dolphin handjobs] and let it happen. It was very precious. It was very gentle…Again it was sexual on his part, it was not sexual on mine. Sensuous perhaps. It would just become part of what was going on, like an itch. Just get rid of that. Scratch it and we’ll be done. Move on. And that’s really all it was. I was there to get to know Peter. That was part of Peter.

Well. Okay then. “The Girl Who Talked To Dolphins” debuts on BBC Four in the UK on June 17. Sounds like a sensuous good time. [NY Daily News]

The BP Oil Spill Is Making Dolphins Sick, And Now I Want To Cry

The BP Oil Spill Is Making Dolphins Sick, And Now I Want To Cry

Dolphins living in an area affected by the 2010 BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico are now suffering from lung diseases and other problems that are consistent with oil spills. How heartbreaking is that? A federal government study was conducted looking into the effects of the spill, and the sobering results were released in a paper on Wednesday. The paper has made the strongest connection so far between the BP spill and dolphin deaths, which have spiked in the Gulf in the years since the disaster. Keep reading »

This Just In: You Can Have A Dolphin Birth Your Baby

Shark Baby
This woman wants to birth a baby shark. Read More »
Dolphin Gangs
Beware of gang-banging dolphins. Read More »
Please Explain...
Dolphin Assisted Birth
Heather and Adam are having a "dolphin-assisted birth"!

Forget about seeking the care of a doctor, that’s so passé.  If you’re looking to have a “supernatural” birth, you should find a nice dolphin to deliver your baby. No, this is not the premise of a “Portlandia” sketch. It’s real. After receiving a lot of “signs” and reading the book The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life by Drunvalo Melchizedek, North Carolina couple Heather and Adam Barringer have decided to travel to the The Sirius Institute in Hawaii to participate in something called a “dolphin-assisted birth.” And what does that entail exactly? I’m sure you’re wondering if dolphins’ snouts double as forceps or something. Read on, and all shall be revealed to you about the “dolphinizing” of the planet and how that relates to a baby coming out of a human vagina. Keep reading »

Life Dream Status: Someday We Might Speak Dolphin

Dolphin Gangs
Beware of gang-banging dolphins. Read More »

Dolphins are like humans in a lot of ways: they have sex for pleasure, mingle with different social groups, and enjoy looking at themselves in the mirror. They also spend a lot of time talking to each other in whistles, clicks, and pulses (coincidentally, this is how many of us communicate with our best friends). So here’s the million dollar question: will we ever be able to crack the dolphin language code? Scientists are hard at work studying dolphin vocalizations, a task which is as challenging as it is fascinating. George Dvorsky over at i09 sums up what they’ve learned so far… Keep reading »

Stupid Rave Leads To Dolphin Casualty

Dolphin Gangs
Beware of gang-banging dolphins. Read More »

I like pretty much everything more than I like raves, but I also like pretty much everything less than I like dolphins. One of my favorite sea creatures (I have many), dolphins are intelligent, loyal, and adorable. They are also highly sensitive to noise — they probably even lay claim to the best hearing in the animal kingdom. Connyland Marine Park in Lipperswil, Switzerland crossed the line when they permitted an out of control two-day rave to take place just yards from its dolphin pool. Animal activists showed up in an attempt to dissuade the park from allowing the dance party but to no avail. All of the ten dolphins showed signs of stress from the thumping beats, but an eight-year-old dolphin called Shadow was particularly affected by the deafening music. The animal was acknowledged as appearing extremely “distressed and disoriented” after the event, and was later found dead. I hope it was worth it for the park — how cruel. R.I.P., Shadow. [The Sun UK]

Update: While zoo personnel originally thought that the loud music had caused Shadow’s death, it is now believed that the dolphins were fed drugs by the ravers. Two days after Shadow died, a second dolphin passed away after a drawn out, painful, and horrendous death. A dolphin expert from the marine park said, “I do not think [they] died of natural causes. I think our dolphins have been poisoned.” So sad. [Daily Mail UK]

Beware Of Gang-Banging Dolphins

Dolphins are peaceful creatures, my ass. According to scientists, violence among young male dolphins is on the rise. A gang of bottleneck dolphins in the Pacific Ocean have been wreaking havoc on porpoises that invade their turf in the Monterey Bay. “Porpocide” by “dive-by” in that area is three times higher than it’s ever been. The bottlenecks surround their porpoise victim, ram it to death with their noses, and use the carcass for a game of catch. That’s hardcore. Why the senseless violence against the porpoise population, you ask? Simply put, the bottlenecks are sexually frustrated. What is our natural world coming to? [OC Weekly] Keep reading »

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