Tag Archives: dolly parton

Dolly Parton And Jessica Simpson Lament Their Double Ds On Twitter

I’ve always thought it was really sweet that Jessica Simpson and Dolly Parton are friends. When Jessica flubbed the words to “9 to 5″ performing for President Bush a few years back, Dolly said to the press, “Jessica is so talented that I’m sure that someday they will be paying tribute to her.” When folks poked fun at Jessica’s weight, Dolly told Larry King, “People always treat her bad. They always talk bad about her. I just recorded a song with her a few months ago. And I’ve never been around a person any sweeter in my life.” These two have a ton in common—the big blond hair, the country roots, and, of course, their massive chests. Well, last night on Twitter, they finally acknowledged the latter commonality. Dolly Tweeted, “Ahhh chiropractor … Hurts so good : – ) you lug these around and see if your back don’t hurt!” To which Jessica responded, “Amen sister : – ).”

Here’s hoping they start a group called the Big Tittie Committee and invite Pamela Anderson to join them in discussing the woes of being top-heavy. [Huffington Post]
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Eight Songs To Make You Spend (Without Saint Nick)

I can’t stand Christmas music. After a weeks worth of shopping I’m already up to my eyeballs in “Silver Bells” and “Feliz Navidad.” Don’t get me wrong, I love buying gifts, but if I hear one more light jazz rendition of “Jingle Bell Rock,” I’m going to lose it. There are plenty of non-Christmas celebrating shoppers out there, slowly being tortured by seasonal elevator music — the Heebs, Muslims, Buddhists, Jehovah Witnesses, Atheists, Taoists….well, you get the point. Still, since it’s our job, if we have the means, to help boost the economy, I would just like to suggest some tracks to the retailers out there, unless they want me to do my holiday shopping at home — where I can blast my own awesome non-denominational music. Now, let’s get in the mood to spend with these hot holiday-free jams that revel in consumerism…

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Halle Berry Defines Sexy

Esquire, the men’s mag, just named new mom Halle Berry, “Sexiest Woman Alive, 2008.” Not bad for a 42-year-old woman who spent a quarter of the year with a baby bump! Humbled, yet perplexed, by the honor after being in the business for 21 years, Berry asked, “Does being the sexiest woman alive imply that I know a thing or two about what’s sexy and, possibly, about sex itself? I’m not sure, but here’s what I do know: I know damned well I’m sexier now than I used to be!” Girl, you always looked good to us! So, in honor of Ms. Berry, who reminds us that, “Sexy is not about wearing sexy clothes or shaking your booty until you damn near get hip dysplasia; it’s about knowing that sexiness is a state of mind,” here are some other sexy women we’d like to congratulate for being who they are, just like Halle! [Esquire]

Funny Sexy- Chelsea Handler
Glamour Girl Sexy- Rachel Zoe
Cool Sexy- MIA
Smart Sexy: Michelle Obama
Want to Be BFF Sexy- Feist
Strong & Sexy- Uma Thurman
Fierce Sexy-Vanessa Williams
Nerdy Sexy- Kari Byron
Sophisticated Sexy- Oprah
Sexy Grandma- Dolly Parton
Creative Sexy- J.K. Rowling

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Sexism Still Pays Off For Men

Growing up, my mom and dad shared the responsibility of bringing home the bacon…well, the proverbial bacon — we’re Jewish. Anyway, my mom was a realtor and good at her job, but I’ll never forget her main competitor. His wife didn’t work and he was a jerk, the kind of guy who used too much hair grease and put his cheesy head shot up at bus stops. While my mother kept me in enriching after school programs, this other slick Realtor dude would scam his clients for sympathy by dragging his son around to meetings. One particular prospective female client even told my mother she was going to go with this guy because he was really his family’s breadwinner. Puke — that’s some serious girl-on-girl crime! I was always proud of my mama for Mary Tyler Moore-ing it up in the face of sexist foolishness, but apparently this chauvinist realtor isn’t the only man who has cashed in on close-mindedness.

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Poll: Balls Versus Boobs

While my Dolly Parton-esque double D’s provide my sexy-time friends with far, far more than a handful, my breasts prevent me from normal activities. Like crossing my heart to say the Pledge of Allegiance. Like squeezing between tables at restaurants without whacking someone in the face. Like wearing button-up shirts and running at the same time. Still, are my bodacious ta-ta’s any more intrusive than, say, the pair men have — that is: balls? I mean, how do they run with those things dangling between their legs? There’s just no denying it. Ladies and gents have bulky body baggage. Thankfully, some gender-bending reporters over at Time Out New York decided to put their work-out routine to the boobs versus balls test. Their results? Frank and beans are easier to exercise with than a couple of milk jugs. But here at the Frisky, let’s talk about when appendages really matter: the sex act. Which cushion do you think is worse for the pushin’? [Boinkology] Keep reading »

Digital Time Capsule With Superstar Sperm Is Being Sent To Space

Space, the final frontier, is getting a new voyager and some sperm that’s outta this world! Richard Garriott, the video game visionary behind Tabula Rasa, is going to be the sixth private citizen to be sent to outer space. How’d he get so lucky? Well, he’s started a program to collect, create, and carry digital DNA and snippets of human history as a time capsule to be stored at the International Space Station. The paranoid gamer is worried androids, the apocalypse, and natural disasters could make us all extinct. His fear has inspired him to create the project, called “Operation Immortality,” to ensure a future for humanity. So who’s genetic code is he cracking? So far, brilliant comedian and well-known narcissist, Stephen Colbert, has agreed to donate, but even the average Jane can offer up her stuff too! All you have to do is play the free trial of Tabula Rasa and your name could get selected at random to become a sample. But if DNA seems a bit too personal, you can simply send a message to the Universe by typing a note about the 21st Century here. Mr. Garriott will be collecting information until October when his shuttle launches. So, with a month to go, we’d like to recommend a few good peeps we think the future could use…

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