They say dogs are man’s best friend, but if your best friend ate poo and sometimes humped your leg, you’d consider getting a new friend, or maybe we just run in different circles. I have nothing against dogs; you could even say I’m a dog person. I like all dogs except the lame ones (looking at you, cocker spaniels). However, I’m not so blind as to not see what’s going on out in the world. For a loyal companion, dogs sure do cause a lot of shit. Check out these six insane stories on Cracked …
The United States birth rate just hit a record low, as more and more twenty- and thirty-somethings are putting off the parenting phase of their lives. But make no mistake, they’re still spoiling, coddling, primping and using baby-talk. It’s just directed at … furrier companions. Have pampered pets become our adorable and adopted, but no less important children? Here are 23 ways that pet ownership is basically parenthood — minus the maternity leave. Read more on Huffington Post…
Not cute: Hitler. So cute it should be condemned: Patch, the puppy who bears an irrefutable, if unfortunate, resemblance to the Nazi leader. With his black “mustache” and a large dark area covering the left side of his head, the French bulldog/shih tzu cross could almost be mistaken for the dictator, if he weren’t a member of a different species and also not a war criminal. Regrettably, Patch’s mom/owner Lynda Whitehead reports that none of her family members call him by his real name anymore, instead referring to the innocent pup as “Adolf” or “Hitler.” Noooooo! That said, Patch likely doesn’t have much of a say in the matter … though we imagine, equipped with fully functioning vocal cords, he’d be an extraordinarily charismatic speaker. Keep doing what you’re doing, Patch. Just don’t get any grandiose ideas about racial hegemony. [Telegraph]
Brace yourselves, fellow animal lovers (dogs over humans any day, am I right?), because this story isn’t about to go down without a tear in the house. Jon Byler Dann, his wife, and their four young children took to their basement for refuge from the deadly storm that annihilated their hometown of Washington, Ill. The Byler Dann family was safe — but one crucial member of the pack was nowhere to be found. Keep reading »
Everybody poops, including dogs. But when these dogs poop, they do it with a certain style, grace and dare we say, emotional intensity that sets their bowel movements apart. Presented without further commentary, Huffington Post brings you the Bold Italic’s “Dramatic Portraits of Dogs Pooping” by Brock Daves. See more portraits on Huffington Post…
A gentle giant has gone to doggy heaven.
Giant George was formerly the world’s tallest dog, according to Guinness World Records. With a staggering height of 43 inches, Giant George towered above most living things he came into contact with. Read more at Huffington Post…
This is Gladys the bull terrier. She’s got a couple of bottles of milk strapped to her back so she can help feed a bunch of goats in her care. ”The idea evolved from the fact that Gladys was completely obsessed with the baby goats, she licked them from the moment they were born, and accompanied us to bottle feed them three times a day – never missing a session,” explains the video’s maker. “She cleaned all the little dribbles of milk as they drank and just adored them, lying super still on the ground while they pounced on her when they were small and running with them as they got bigger and bouncier. We joked that she would love to feed them herself, if only there was a way for her to hold the bottles.”
So Gladys was rigged up with a bottle harness. It didn’t work, but it did result in this funny video. “She was less than a year old and the words stand/stay were not in her vocabulary,” her owner went on. “She just stood on the hay & wore the pants while we taped & arranged goats.” Goat arranger: I wonder if that’s a job I can audition for. [YouTube]
I can’t believe we need to go over this again, but animals are living, breathing beings. They are not inanimate objects into which you can store your lipgloss, wallet and cell phone, so why, why, why, would you carry a dog around like that. This woman was snapped with Dog-as-Purse in tow on the streets of New York this past Thursday. I’m not saying the dog purse contraption hurts the dog or anything — it actually looks like it might be designed for exactly that. But it hurts my soul. And no doubt, this dog finds it extremely embarrassing to be toted around like that. Just look at the contempt its dog’s face! [The Gloss]
Talk about cowardly. The Luohe zoo in the Chinese province of Henan is in trouble after it reportedly tried to pass off a Tibetan mastiff dog as a lion. The dog, pictured, was placed in a cage labeled “African lion,” but the zoo’s visitors figured out something was amiss when they heard the animal, which resembles an oversized Chow, bark.
And that wasn’t the only animal ruse happening at the Luohe zoo. Keep reading »
There are no words. Ryan Havens Tannenholz, of Boise, Idaho, likes dressing up as a dog, and has a furry alter ego named Bubblegum Husky, which is, as you might expect, a Husky dog. But Tannenholz may have gone beyond the normal bounds of furrydom: he’s been accused of having sex with his cat. The incidences took place over the course of a year, and the 28-year-old was arrested on July 31 and charged with six felony counts of crimes against nature, and one misdemeanor count of cruelty to an animal.
He’s currently being held on $250,000 bail. Keep reading »