Tag Archives: do not want

Do Not Want: The Selfie Brush

In case a bad hair day threatens to ruin your photos, the Selfie Brush does double duty as a hair tamer and phone case. That way, you don’t have to bother to put your brush down and then pick up your phone before taking a selfie, which will save you approximately three whole seconds. It also allows you to answer your phone mid-styling by simply flipping the brush around to chat, or answering the call via voice command and using speaker phone. Is the world seriously at a point where we need to worry about consolidating our various forms of vanity? As the product’s website reminds us, the brush is “easy to find in a pocket book” (yes, a pocket book) and the “perfect social media tool.” It also provides nifty instructions on how to take the perfect selfie which includes showing off your “luscious locks” and “a soft and playful smile,” as well as incorporating the right filter, lighting, and “slimming angles.” Hey, at least they remind us to “ditch the duck face”! If it suits you, you can buy the selfie brush here, but I think I’ll be sticking with regular phone cases. Since I kind of feel like a bully now, I will say this much: that brush handle makes it much easier to raise your phone high above your head for prime photographing angles without dropping it on your face. [Yahoo] [Image via SelfieBrush.com]

Do Not Want: $455 Dolce & Gabbana Jorts For Men

I don’t feel like “Do Not Want” really even captures my gut-level reaction to these $455 jean shorts (jorts, if you’re nasty) for men. “Fuck no, stop triflin’” or “Get the fuck out of here with this nonsense” is more accurate. Jorts — that is, denim shorts that have been hemmed, not simply jeans that have been cut off (those are slightly more acceptable, in my opinion, but I’m willing to debate that) — are right up there with mandals and tucked-in shirts for biggest dude fashion vagina killers for me. Oh look, how coincidental, look at how Dolce & Gabbana decided to style their hideous and expensive jort travesty — with mandals and a tucked-in shirt! Everything about this is next level wrong. I’m appalled. [via Buzzfeed]

Do Not Want For Valentine’s Day: Make-Out Practice Pillow

“When I was in middle school, everyone joked about making out with pillows for practice,” said Emily King, the designer who created the Make-Out Practice Pillow. “I’m assuming that I was not the only one for whom the jokes had some truth.”

Emily, who was inspired to make the pillow with a mouth after coming across some CPR dummies in a dumpster near her house, is aware that the finished product, which sells for $30, is incredibly creepy. Still, she has love for the thing and thinks it would make a great Valentine’s Day gift:

“I have to admit that when I mentioned this idea to my friends, the reaction from anyone over the age of 25 tended to be variations on ‘that’s really creepy,. and anyone under the age of 25 thought it was hilarious and awesome: middle-school to college-age seemed to be the sweet spot of people who really liked the idea…I thought it was pretty hilarious myself until I actually made the things. They are super creepy. But I sort of love them for that.”

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Do Not Want: Hideous & Expensive Teva-Esque Sandals Are In For Spring

When I look out the window right now, I see snow blanketing New York City, further sign that Punxsutawney Phil wasn’t joking when he saw his shadow and predicted four more months of winter. And while I am longing for the warmer temperatures of spring, one thing is giving me pause. The fact that, according to every fashion magazine I’ve picked up in the last month, hideous, chunky, clunky, sporty sandals, seemingly inspired by what I consider to be the ugliest footwear ever imagined, Tevas (yes, more so than Birkenstocks OR Uggs!), are apparently all the rage for spring. Seriously, there’s a whole spread of them in the new issue of LuckyAnd all of these shoes above, currently available at your favorite stupidly pricey e-boutique, are priced at $500-$800. I SWEAR. All together now … DO! NOT! WANT!

Fashion Quiz: Trendy Overalls Or Chest Waders?

Do Not Want: Jean Sandal Boots
Yes, they exist, and yes, they're horrifying. Read More »
Do Not Want: Chest Hair Sweater
Complete with glistening nipples! Read More »

One of the items shown above is a pair of petite faux leather overalls from ASOS. The other is a pair of men’s rubber chest waders from Amazon. Can you tell which is which? I’m still trying to figure it out…

Do Not Want: This Pentagram Garter (And The Tan Lines That Come With It)

Do Not Want: Spider Sandals
spider sandals
Would you wear spiders on your feet? Read More »
Do Not Want: Chest Hair Sweater
Complete with glistening nipples! Read More »

I’m very intrigued by the new wave of accessories that has cropped up specifically to cater to teenage hipsters attending music festivals (I’m looking at you, giant floral crowns and crocheted bikini tops). Fanciful garters and other thigh decorations meant to be paired with super short shorts are another trend in this category. Pretty sure this pentagram garter, for example, was created to cater to the mysterious, slightly goth breed of festival girl. I’m not sure if I should be more concerned about the fact that a pentagram is a meaningful religious symbol that should probably not just be wrapped around your thigh “because it looks cool,” or because the tan lines from this thing would be pretty horrific. I think I’m gonna go with the tan lines. [$22, Karmaloop]

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