“Getting a divorce really sucks. Imagine spreading everything you care about on a blanket and then tossing the whole thing up in the air. The process of divorce is about loading that blanket, throwing it up, watching it all spin, and worrying what stuff will break when it lands.”
Amy Poehler‘s upcoming memoir, Yes Please, is sure to be a total riot, but as this quote from an excerpt published on The Mirror proves, it’ll also contain Amy’s refreshingly candid insights about real life problems, including her own. We’ve seen bits of this more serious side of Amy before, particularly in her Ask Amy advice series on YouTube, so I’m looking forward to seeing that fleshed out on the page, whether she’s writing about her own divorce from ex husband Will Arnett, parenting her two adorable sons, Abel and Archie, her road to success in Hollywood or her experiences with drugs. Speaking of which, here’s what Amy writes about what she learned from taking mushrooms: Keep reading »
Yesterday, while I was getting ready to go to CostCo with my boyfriend, Michael, I told him a story a friend had told me about how much her dad hated her grandfather. I said, “I wonder what it’s like to have parents who you really deep-down hate.” Then I paused and thought about it, and said, “Well, I hated my in-laws.”
And for the first time in the last two years, I felt a sudden and very real sense of dissonance in saying that. I felt too young to say something like “I hated my in-laws,” in the past tense; as in, I had in-laws. As in, in my life, I have had in-laws, but now, I do not have in-laws. Keep reading »
We’ve heard of people divorcing over a sexless marriage, but divorcing over too much sex? You don’t hear that one every day. Apparently, one man was recently granted a divorce by a Mumbai family court because he could no longer deal with his wife’s “excessive and insatiable desire for sex.” Read more on Huffington Post Weird News…
According to a new report by the University of Virginia, couples who have larger, more formal weddings are more likely to have quality marriages. This is pretty hard to believe because in my mind, there are few things more stressful or challenging to a relationship than planning a big wedding. The study, which is part of UVA’s National Marriage Project, surveyed 418 people about their histories and the current quality of their marriage. Marriage quality was determined through questions about factors like happiness in the relationship, thoughts about divorce, how often the couple confides in one another. Researchers found that only 30 percent of couples who had less than 50 guests at their ceremony had a highly successful marriage. On the other hand, 47 percent of couples who had over 150 guests had highly solid marriages, which is still hardly an awesome success rate. Keep reading »
So here’s a thing that is making my eye twitch: There is a (fringe) group of people — mostly men — who believe that divorce is, basically, a feminist conspiracy meant not to empower women to live autonomous lives (y’know, the whole “pursuit of happiness” thing) but to allow women to destroy men’s lives.
This is largely a product of the Red Pill community. For the vast numbers of people who live in blessed ignorance of Red Pill, it’s a group of people (again, mostly men) who believe that they’ve “taken the red pill” (à la “The Matrix”) and embraced the painful reality that our society is increasingly being set up to disadvantage men. Not that this is an actual reality: They believe that “involuntary celibacy” exists, i.e. they are having celibacy forced on them; they are disadvantaged for being virgins; their entire identity is wrapped up in having or not having sex. They’re the notorious believers in pick-up artistry, a concept that posits that since all women are brainless automatons, there’s a magical formula of actions and behaviors you can adopt to manipulate women into sleeping with you. They’re so obsessed with false rape accusations that they practically never actually validate the fact that women in America are raped (and then, if she was, of course, she probably deserved it). They buy into the “alpha/beta” social theory (because humans are dogs!). They talk about women in terms of monetary value. They believe they are buying their “partners.”
And they hate divorce, because in the Red Pill community’s minds divorce is a system set up to allow women to vacuum money out of men’s bank accounts and steal children away from their fathers. They believe men should be able to divorce women for even spurious reasons, but women should be shamed for getting divorced (by the way, read all of these links at the risk of your sanity). Keep reading »
My husband, friend and partner of 16 years and I have decided to get a divorce.
Ty and I have always tried to live the most authentic life possible, and we wanted our separation as husband and wife to be nothing less loving than the way we came together. For some time we have been engaged in a private and difficult, but thoughtful and tender undoing of ourselves. Allowing ourselves the time and space to redefine what we are to each other with love rather than malice.
We have been so aware that it is easiest to use the inertia of anger to leverage two souls apart who have been bound together by so much living. By a child. But we did not want anger to burn the ties that bound us. Instead we have chosen the much more difficult task of undoing ourselves stitch by stitch, and releasing each other with love so that we may take on our new form: dear friends and devoted co-parents of our beloved son Kase. We have no desire to damage ourselves and each other in the process. Who better than each other to bear witness to the heart ache of redefining our family? And who better as ally, while we learn to redraw ourselves in whatever new shape we find as separate people who are still striving to be the best versions of ourselves- as humans and as parents.
This is part of Jewel‘s personal statement on her web site announcing a divorce from her husband of six years, rodeo champion Ty Murray. Oh, but it continues: Keep reading »