No matter how old you are, it must suck to find out your parents are getting divorced. And it must suck even more for Radar Online to get a hold of your parents’ divorce papers, and reveal that part of the reason for said divorce is because your dad was arrested in a massage parlor in Utah, allegedly soliciting a prostitute. This is exactly what has just happened to “American Idol” season seven contestant David Archuleta. We feel terrible for him that this is now public knowledge. [Popeater]

It seems like we always get a little too much information when divorce papers get leaked. Here are a few of the dooziest.

Do you remember Tricia Walsh Smith, aka the “YouTube Wife”? Last year, she made a video rant (relive the glory, after the jump) about her husband that went viral, probably because she talked about their sexless marriage and called him out on his porn stashes. Tricia’s husband is the wealthy New York president of the Shubert Organization, Philip Smith, who hid a clause in her pre-nuptial agreement that stated he could give her a “notice of termination” and throw her out whenever he’d like. And that he did. Her video didn’t get Tricia any money in the divorce proceedings, but it caused the divorce judge to accuse her of orchestrating a “calculated and callous” campaign of harassment against her ex. Oops.

Well, Tricia is back, and now she’s made a frickin’ music video. The song sounds a bit like old Pet Shop Boys, and I’m psyched for the inevitable remixes. This is a preview of the musical she’s working on called “Incredibly Brilliant Play.” Someone get this woman an agent!

Stop the divorce presses! We’ve heard via Popeater that Jon Gosselin has had a change of heart and now no longer wants to divorce Kate, who just a few weeks ago he accused of verbally abusing him and said he “despised.” Jon’s lawyer has put in a request that the divorce be stalled for 90 days. “I regret my conduct since Kate and I separated…I used poor judgment in publicly socializing with other women so soon,” he’s supposedly told In Touch magazine. “[This time will] enable Kate and me to restore our relationship as cooperative parents and to open up our lines of communication…Even though we were heading for a divorce, it appeared that Kate had been suffering from this divorce as much as I had. That’s why I asked my attorney to put the brakes on this divorce so I could try to regain control over the future of our family. So Kate and I could join on a cooperative course that would benefit our family—not destroy it.”

I don’t know, buddy. The skeptic in me says that the media frenzy has died down and he got the word that TLC was changing the show’s name from “Jon & Kate Plus Eight” to “Kate Plus Eight,” and asked himself, “What can I do to stay in the spotlight? Begging for forgiveness could work.” [In Touch via Popeater]

London jewelry designer Gisèle Ganne has created a line of divorce jewelry, because people who are giddy with love shouldn’t be the only ones allowed to wear a nice-looking ring. “I use union and marriage symbols and subvert them to show the inevitability of the breakup, but also show that from these ashes may raise new life,” Ganne writes on her website. This, along with her reminder that 42 percent of U.K. marriages end in divorce, kind of depresses us. If breakups are inevitable, then what’s the point in starting a new relationship? But wearing her eerie jewelry, which Edgar Allan Poe would have appreciated, the next time we split up with someone could be a good consolation prize to go along with a broken heart. [Gisèle Ganne via Trendhunter]

During her marriage to Erwin Cajamarca, Valeria Gentile allowed him to take photographs of her nude in a variety of sexual positions. Now that they're divorced, she's suing him for putting some of those photos online, resulting in a humiliating and cruel "invasion of her privacy." According to a divorce attorney, both partners legally own photographs taken during the course of a marriage and deciding who gets to keep them after the relationship ends is one of the more contentious issues discussed during divorce settlements. [Orlando Sentinel]

We thought they’d last “Forever” after a viral video of a bride and groom dancing down the aisle hit YouTube. But, alas, a new video has surfaced with the couple in divorce court. Well, not really, but a production company wanted to continue the fun and choreographed a divorce parody version of the wedding original. Check it out.

One of the big bombshells my ex dropped the day he decided he needed a break was, “I don’t know that we’re in love anymore.” I didn’t buy it. I was in love and I was certain he was too. He was confused, he needed space, and I was going to give it to him, despite the fact that for many, his words would have been the final nail in the coffin. So I was fascinated to read Laura Munson’s “Modern Love” column in Sunday’s New York Times about her refusal to fight with her husband when he declared he no longer loved her.

• Ali Larter and Hayes MacArthur were wed at his family’s estate in Kennebunkport, ME, on Saturday. [People]—That’s fabulous! There’s something I always liked about Ali.
• Survivor and The Amazing Race‘s Rob Mariano and Amber Brkich welcomed a baby girl this weekend. [People]
• Mark Wahlberg married the mother of his three children, Rhea Durham, in Beverly Hills Saturday. [Dlisted]—Um, it’s about time.

We’ve never heard of this website AlaskaReport.com, so when they posted on Saturday that Sarah and Todd Palin were on the train bound for Divorceville, we didn’t know what to think. The site claimed that marriage issues were what led Sarah to make her abrupt exit as governor, and that Alaska’s first couple barely spoke before or after Sarah’s resignation speech last weekend. They also claimed that a Palin staffer confirmed the couple was dunzo, and that Sarah had stopped wearing her wedding ring. Oh, and that Sarah had bought some land in Montana, where she’s considering moving with the kids. [Alaska Report]

It took less than a few hours for the Palin camp to chime in. A spokesman posted a message on Sarah’s Facebook account saying, “Yet again, some so-called journalists have decided to make up a story. There is no truth to the recent ‘story’ (and story is the correct term for this type of fiction) that the Palins are divorcing,” read the post. “The Palins remain married [and] committed to each other and their family.” [New York Daily News]

The stress of going through a divorce looks like it takes a huge toll on your health. Divorced people are 20 percent more likely to have chronic health conditions like cancer and heart disease than people who’ve tied the knot and kept it tied. But if you think getting remarried is the best medicine, you’re wrong. Even those who get hitched again still have a 12 percent higher chance of getting a serious disease. Remarried folks also have mobility problems 19 percent more often when compared to those who’ve stayed married all along.

So what about the single folks?

Compared with the rest of the Western World, American relationships and marriages are suffering the most during the recession, according to a recent international poll. Almost 30 percent of Americans said the recession has caused stress and strain in their relationships—or completely ruined them. However, only 23 percent of Canadians, 24 percent of the French, and 12 percent of Germans have had similar experiences.

OK, already, I get it. The economic crisis has really sucked. More women are choosing to sell their bodies or their eggs to make ends meet. Dudes are living at home longer. And next year, the Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute Gala is going to be downsized. Can researchers stop conducting these polls and studies without offering any solutions? [Reuters]

While many fear that America is falling out of the marriage habit, and that, these days, all is bad in love and more, new stats show otherwise. Supposedly, 86% of women marry by age forty. This says something, considering that a 20-year-old article in Newsweek declared that “a 40-year-old single woman had a better chance of being killed by a terrorist than getting married.” Ouch.

A recent article in Marie Claire magazine narrates the stories of three divorced mothers who gave up custody of their children—Maria Housden left her girls to their father in order to recover from the death of one of her daughters, Elle Hull decided to leave her kids with her ex-husband so that she could rebuild her formerly-falling apart life, and Rebekah Spicuglia gave up custody in order to go back to school.

Coming from a divorced family, I have spent my life questioning the idea of a life-long commitment. Most of the adults I know have been divorced at least once, and of the couples who are still married, most of them (along with their kids) appear miserable. And so, while I would love to find a companion whose company I will enjoy “‘til death do us part,” I’ve learned from observation that this just might not be a realistic goal. And is it so horrible to think that maybe we weren’t supposed to spend our entire lives with one person? Is traditional marriage the best—or only—way?

Seems like everything Kate Gosselin tries to do these days falls through. The woman is getting divorced, “Jon & Kate Plus 8” is postponed, the release date for her cookbook/family advice book, Love Is In The Mix: Making Meals Into Memories, was pushed back, and now mama Kate’s new clothing line for kids is “on hold.” Why any clothing company would think that because Kate has a bunch of kids, she has the fashion sense to design clothes for them (come on, look at that hair) is beyond me. And it seems Healthtex clothes may feel the same way…

The divorce papers have been filed. The announcement has been made. After 10 years of marriage, eight kids, months of speculation, and an dizzying number of tabloid covers, Jon and Kate Gosselin of “Jon & Kate Plus 8” are officially dunzo. No surprise there. But what is surprising is that, divorce aside, “Jon & Kate Plus 8” will go on. On June 29th, there will be an ode to the couple’s marriage—in other words, a highlights episode. Then the show will go on a break until August 3rd to give the family “some time off to regroup,” as a TLC spokesperson put it. After that, the show will resume. The house will now be the constant—the kids will always live there, while Jon and Kate switch off time in the family home. [AP]

By now, you’ve probably seen the promo for tonight’s “special episode” of “Jon & Kate Plus 8” approximately 98 times. If you’re one who likes to jump to conclusions, you’re probably assuming that the big announcement the commercial teases is that Jon and Kate are getting divorced. But I’m not so convinced—they’ll probably drag out that drama for another eon or so. After the jump, my best guesses at what this big announcement could be:

Cary Tennis, Salon’s resident advice columnist, answers a rather ridunculous letter in his column today. A man writes in that when they were married, his first wife always wore her hair short despite years of him asking her to grow it long, and she bit her fingernails, too, a habit he says “annoyed” him. Since divorcing her many moons ago, he’s remarried and has had several more children with his second wife. His first wife remarried, as well, and the children they had together are all grown up and remain close to both parents as well as their younger half-siblings. All sounds good, right? Well, not so much. You see, wife #1 has recently grown out her hair! AND she seems to have stopped biting her nails!

Did you know that over half of married women regret walking down the aisle with their husbands? If you said yes, well, then you know some disgruntled peeps. Just kidding! According to a recent survey of 35,000 women, happily ever after is only for the movies. Duh. While most women admitted they didn’t believe in a “soul mate,” a whopping 72 percent said they have considered leaving their husbands. But comparing those figures to the divorce rate, 20 percent of them are chickens who stick it out.  Worse yet, half of ‘em were also completely bored in the boudoir or couldn’t remember the last time they had any kind of freaky deaky fun.  Dang, if you can’t grab your husband and say, “Yum, yum, gimme some,” what is the point? Especially since 79% of those surveyed admitted a woman has got needs. Alas, I’m single and I thought it was hard to get laid, but marriage sounds worse…sigh. What is there to look forward to?

Not to rain on our own bridal bonanza parade, but not all marriages end happily ever after. While there is no “right” way to handle a divorce, Brit Jo Wallace can’t be accused of moping. Rather than skulk around her house after her three-year marriage ended, Jo threw a divorce party. Sure a divorce party isn’t quite as conventional as a Tupperware party, but it was actually the dress code that caught our attention. Rather than don the average “night out on the town to pick me up a hunk of new man” garb for the pub crawl through Brighton, England, Wallace insisted that all the women wear wedding gowns. Not just any wedding dress, oh no, the most hideous dress one could find on eBay. Stomping around Brighton like Bridezilla probably doesn’t come up high on the list of conventional ways to celebrate one’s divorce, but we give Wallace credit for making lemonade out of lemons, and giving dresses that usually only get worn once a second life.  [Daily Mail]