Tag Archives: distrust

Girl Talk: Why Checking Your Partner’s Email And Phone Is Not Smart

Snooping His Profile
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If your man still has a profile up, there's trouble ahead. Read More »
I Swore I'd Never Snoop
...but then I did. Read More »
Snooping Vs. Stalking
What's the difference between online snooping and stalking? Read More »

Recently, Jools Oliver, wife of chef Jamie Oliver, and writer Samantha Brick both proudly declared that they check their husbands’ emails and phones regularly, and credit their successful marriages in part to such snooping. Oliver said that even though she monitors her husband’s email, phone and Twitter account, “He says I’m a jealous girl, but I think I’m fairly laid-back, considering.”

While it may work for them, I would caution against following their lead. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should find out everything you possibly can about someone, even someone you’re sleeping with or married to. I know because I once read my boyfriend’s email (while using his computer with his permission) and found out he’d been sleeping with prostitutes while having unprotected sex with me, and promptly broke up with him. Do I wish I’d remained ignorantly blissful for a little while longer? Not necessarily, but it was a harrowing way to find out. With an ex, I read an email that criticized me in a way that I’ve never forgotten, and in that case, I wish I hadn’t seen it, because it wasn’t intended for me. Keep reading »

The Breakup Diaries: Damn The Distrust!

I’ve come to the conclusion that the absolute worst part of going through a breakup is that one of the common reactions is insane distrust — distrust of yourself, the person you were with, and of the relationship’s meaning. This is something I’ve been struggling with throughout my break/breakup/”separation” from my fiance, which has officially gone on for seven weeks exactly. Unfortunately, I may be aware that I’m filled with doubt, but I haven’t quite figured out how to stop doing it. After the jump, about 10,000 questions totally plaguing me. Keep reading »

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