I met him through mutual friends, and I noticed him immediately because he looked like my ex-best friend — but, like, a way hotter version of the ex-BFF. We hung out a few times, and one night, after some drunken bonding over tattoos and the psychological and scientific validity of the art of pickup, he asked if I was coming home with him, and I said yes.
What I was looking for at the time was a fun, casual fling with someone I could be friendly with — without it turning into anything emotional. Neither of us were into having a relationship, and I knew that he was seeing someone else casually, too. He was smart and sarcastic and seemed like the type to bottle up his feelings and never reveal them to me. I thought it was the perfect setup. Keep reading »
People have been doing it since the dawn of time. In fact, it’s the alluring, torrid, mind-blowing, all-consuming sex explosion that has spawned our entire existence as a species! While over the years, thanks to technological and social advances, we’ve improved upon the original biological need with things like latex, handcuffs, key parties, dirty talk, and general smut, what went up, must now come down. According to an article MSNBC published just today, “trendy sex” is over. So, you can stop lamenting that you didn’t get a webcam for Christmas, because all of a sudden, nobody cares?! After decades of topping off vanilla sex with all kinds of goodies, have people lost their taste for kink?
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Dirty talk is an acquired taste. Like oysters, or caviar. Sure, maybe at first bite, dirty talk can seem a little awkward, even unsavory to some. But like a kalamata olive, it grows on you. And soon enough you’re ordering Greek salads like it’s your job and dirty talking like you never owned a copy of Emily Post’s Etiquette. I am not criticizing such behavior. Something about glass houses and stones and throwing them. I dirty talk. I like it. I do it all the time. I want to hear it. There. I said it. As cleanly as I know how. Keep reading »
I was newly on the rebound (read: heartbroken), and had been invited by a friend who knew the deal to a downtown hipster party full of sexy, artsy guys. I proceeded to immediately knock back a few free drinks, then flirt my way through the throngs of smart artistes. One struck my fancy, with his Southern drawl, earnest voice, and red hair. He was sweet, and super talented, and cute in a non-overpowering way. I knew he liked me, but he wasn’t putting the hard sell on getting in my pants. So of course I went home with him.
We got to his apartment and tipsily made out, and soon our clothes were off. I got on top of him and we started having sex. Now, I’m a talkative girl whether I’ve been drinking or not, and one of the places I love to run my mouth is in the bedroom. I don’t remember exactly what I said—the sex wasn’t that earth-shattering—but I know there were a few “That feels good”s and whisperings of his name. I’d thought he was having just as good a time as I was, until we talked the next day. Keep reading »
A couple in Southern England has been seriously putting the WHAM! BAM! in the Thank you ma’am! According to Kelly “The Screamer” Norris’ neighbors, the 29-year-old comes louder than a freight train. Even after the other apartment residents obtained a court order in 2006 to lower the volume on her bumpin’ music, slammin’ headboard, and x-rated dirty talk, she still refused to comply when she got down. Now, we here at the Frisky can appreciate a woman who likes to be vocal, but she’s been teaching a six year old who lives in the building a whole new set of vocabulary words. And Norris has also been giving them more than just an earful, she’s also showing an unwanted eyeful by sunbathing nude in the communal backyard. Man, this chick’s got balls! So how did her neighbors finally beat her off? They cleverly decided to apply for an injunction to ban her boyfriend, Adam Hinton, 32, from visiting her apartment. In court earlier this week, the ban was granted and Norris was also fined $600 for loving too loud (but I think we can all agree that finding a man who makes you scream is priceless.) Although, maybe she should think about moving…into a sound proof place with blind neighbors. [The Daily Telegraph via Fark] Keep reading »
“Ugh, the guy I have been dating will not shut the hell up during sex! He’s always directing me (“do this…do that”) or giving a play-by-play of every second (‘I love seeing your breasts bounce, blah blah blah’). How do I politely tell him to BE QUIET?” — Wishing I Was Deaf, via email
Ugh…that would drive me crazy! For me, talking non-stop in bed is like talking in the movies…totally uncalled for and annoying. But some chicks are super into it, and that’s probably why this guy you’re dating does it. An ex of his probably said, “Oooh, yeah. Tell me what you’re doing to me right now. Talk dirty to me!”, and he decided to work it into his sexual arsenal. All it takes it one girl to eff it up for the rest of us.
Go ahead and undo the damage caused by that beyatch and tell him talking during sex makes you feel weird. Tell him you’re not used to it and it takes your focus away from him. If he doesn’t understand or like what you’re saying, then you might be too late to save this one.
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Maybe you’ve never admitted it out loud, but we all have the capacity to be cruel. The Bad Girlfriend has the capacity and then some. She’s a friend of ours who we love for being trustworthy and smart, funny and exceedingly loyal…to her girlfriends, that is. But boyfriends? That’s another story. We pity the fools who end up on her arm—give it a few months, a year, even three, and suddenly they won’t know what hit ‘em. We don’t expect you to love her, but we do expect that you may, begrudgingly, see a bit of yourself in her bad deeds.
There are many times in life when you get busted for doing something wrong and freeze -up in fear— you know that feeling when your heart seems to stop, a wave of hot panic washes over you, and your bladder control muscles stop working properly? This can happen anytime, such as when you’re 14 and get caught smoking by your principal, or when security guards stop you at the front door of the mall when you have an unpaid for sweater balled up in your bag. (Ok, maybe that was just me.) But nothing will prepare you for having this feeling when you’re in the middle of having sex. There’s only really one thing that can cause this panic: calling out the wrong person’s name in the middle of the deed. Keep reading »
Bad dates suck. But letâ€™s face it, after a certain length of time, they can be pretty funny in retrospect. In honor of the grand tradition of laughing uproariously at disastrous dates, weâ€™re taking submissions for The Bad Date Hall Of Fame. Send yours to email@example.com â€“ and if we publish yours, weâ€™ll send you a pair of Frisky underpants. After the jump, a bad date shows up wasted, doesn’t pay for his BLT-dinner, and engages in weird pedophile dirty talk. Keep reading »