In this week’s Savage Love column, a guy (for convenience, I’m assuming it was a dude, but it could have been a woman) wrote in saying he’d coined the clever term “procrasturbation” and wanted help getting it into dictionaries. Procrasturbation, he explained, means “to waste time by pleasuring yourself.” He said he wrote Merriam-Webster back in 2004 about having the word included in their dictionary, but was told:

“Your coinage is clever, but I’m afraid that cleverness is not the criterion on which a word is entered into our dictionaries … For ‘procrasturbate’ to be entered, it will need to appear in a number of well-read print sources for a good number of years. When we’ve collected enough citations for the word, we will enter it into our dictionary.”

I happen to like the word, so in an effort to help get it into Merriam-Webster, I’m printing it here. So, what have you, readers? Are you procrasturbators? Do you regularly “waste time by pleasuring yourself”?

The kind editors over at Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary have updated the tome, adding in about 100 new words. Some of the words that made the cut: frenemy, webisode, waterboarding, locavore, vlog, flash mob, shwarma, green-collar, staycation, and reggaeton. To get added to the dictionary, editors have to see evidence that lots of people are using the word. Given this list, I’m kinda surprised that vajayjay didn’t make the cut. Maybe next year? [AP]

The dictionary has decided to be more inclusive than the US government. The definitive Merriam-Webster tome has redefined marriage as:

“(1): the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2): the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage [same-sex marriage].”

Now that’s a change we can believe in! So, Ellen and Portia, even through Prop 8 passed, your love still has its way with words! [365Gay]

“Meh” will be added to the Collins English Dictionary in next year’s 30th anniversary edition. [AP]

Employees who experienced workplace sexual harassment were found to have lower levels of job satisfaction, organizational commitment, and job performance. [Medical News Today]

Former New York governor Eliot Spitzer’s call girl Ashley Alexandra Dupre apologized to his wife, Silda Wall Spitzer, saying, “I’m sorry for your pain.” [Time]

Twilight fans will like “Twilight.” [TNR]

Michael K, our favorite gossip blogger/gay-at-large, has his own lexicon. On his site, Dlisted, he coins turns of phrase even more legendary and outrageous than the crazy cast of characters he covers on his beat.  Basically, the K is the Merriam-Webster of celeb smack talk! So in honor of his juicy jargon, we’ve assembled some fan art we call the DicKtionary—an alphabetical reference for reading the trash talkin’ hilarity that is Michael K.