Remember Rebecca Martinson, the University of Maryland sorority girl who sent her fellow Delta Gammas a lengthy screed that introduced the world to the term “cunt punt”? Of course you do! Things have worked out well for Rebecca, despite being mocked mercilessly by the internet and being given the boot by her sorority — she’s been writing a reliably bitchy column for the dude site Bro Bible and now comes news that she’ll be putting pen to paper on her first novel. Ahh, book deals, so hard to come by these days unless you’re a horrible waste of space. Martinson is co-writing the book with the creator of the blog White Girl Problems (sounds like a collaboration made in heaven) and it’s being shopped around by none other than Tucker Max’s agent, so I think we can expect a best seller. Personally, I thought that Martinson’s notorious cunt punt email, while nasty as hell, was pretty well-written, funny and had good timing. Which is not to say I approve of this book deal. I just hate it less than others. [Huffington Post]
Last one, we swear! If you get Morgan fucking Freeman to read Rebecca Martinson’s Delta Gamma sorority letter, you better believe we’re going to post it. Okay, maybe it’s not Morgan Freeman himself, but a Morgan Freeman sound-a-like named Josh Robert Thompson — and it’s pretty damn convincing. This could change everything. Think about “Shawshank Redemption,” for one. What if Morgan Freeman’s character Red had been all, “ANDY! Don’t be a cunt punt! Dig us out of prison!” How much better would that movie have been, really? [HyperVocal]
And now we’ve reached the end: Disgraced Delta Gamma sis Rebecca Martinson has resigned from the University of Maryland chapter of her sorority, following a week of radio silence from Martinson and the chapter. Yup, the woman who has gifted us with the phrase “cunt punt” has left the building. In a public statement, Delta Gamma said that the “tone and content of [Martinson's] email was highly inappropriate and unacceptable by any standard.”
The full letter is after the jump!
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Remember when Delta Gamma sorority girl Rebecca Martinson warned that “FRATS DON’T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you’re an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR”? And then she told you that “I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters”?
Yes, well, we’ve finally uncovered the magical fraternity that Rebecca Martinson feels so passionately about. Behold, the young men of the University of Maryland Sigma Nu chapter. According to the frat’s Facebook page, Sigma Nu’s slogan is: “Become Something More… Become a Sigma Nu.” Here they are, in a photo taken somewhere likely on the Maryland shore, red Solo cups held high, celebrating their pre-Rebecca Martinson lives. (Totally in love with photobombing orange shirt guy, BTW.) Keep reading »
Michael Shannon’s dramatic reading of University of Maryland sorority girl Rebecca Martinson‘s batshit insane letter to her Delta Gamma sisters may well be the scariest damned thing the internet has seen. I think a vein burst in Michael Shannon’s neck. Wear headphones if you listen to this at the office. There’s a lot of screaming. [Funny Or Die]
From now until the end of the internet, Rebecca Martinson will be known as the mean girl who wrote a rabid email to her University of Maryland Delta Gamma sisters berating them for being “weird,” “awkward,” “boring,” “stupid,” retarded,” “ass hat,” “faggots” who were unable to properly socialize with brother frat Sigma Nu. When Rebecca wasn’t busy writing shame mail to her sorority sisters, she was working on a future career in comedy, composing racist, classist, size-ist Tweets. But since becoming infamous, she’s deleted her Twitter feed. Well, there goes her career as the next Lisa Lampanelli! Should she make it through the rest of her college career at the University of Maryland — I imagine she’ll have to transfer — she’ll have to find some way to earn a living once she graduates. But what kind of job is someone with the gift of hate-spewing cut out for? We were wondering that very thing here at The Frisky. Her future doesn’t have to be a wash. We have some ideas for Rebecca… Keep reading »