• dear wendy

Dear Wendy: “I Got Dumped. Should I MOA?”

My boyfriend of seven months broke up with me last week. He made it clear that no part of the breakup was my fault, that he still loved me, but did not think he was capable of being in a relationship. He is in the process of getting divorced. His wife of one year, whom he had dated for nearly a decade, left him for a man 10 years her junior during a rough period of my guy’s life. He had just lost two people very close to him. We started dating fairly early in his separation and he thinks he didn’t have time to properly heal. When breaking up, he told me he sees a real chance for us in the future and isn’t planning on dating anyone else right now, though he knows it’s unfair to expect the same from me. He said the pressure of a relationship is holding him back from getting past certain problems in his life and completely healing from the divorce. (Also, there is no chance he is having second thoughts about his divorce.) He insists he wants to remain close and since the breakup, we still talk daily and have made plans to hang out tomorrow (I refuse to be intimate with him while broken up). I want to believe him but the people around me (who haven’t met him) seem to think this is just a thing guys say when they want out or to date other people but still keep a woman in tow. A part of me feels like if I was really worth it to him, he would have fought more. Am I being too naive? Is this a MOA situation? — Cautiously Optimistic

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’m Stressed That My Boyfriend Smokes Pot”

I met a wonderful guy a little over a year ago and we started dating casually and taking things very slow. During that time I discovered that he occasionally smokes pot. I didn’t catch him doing it nor have I ever seen any paraphernalia anywhere — I just heard some stories through a mutual friend. When I found this out, I sat down with him and told him that our relationship would never get any more serious than what it was because I can’t be with someone who does illegal drugs (even occasionally) not only because of my job but because of my own values. This is not something I want to be part of my lifestyle and is pretty much a dealbreaker for me. I’m not trying to change anyone — I’m just acknowledging that our lifestyles are different and won’t work together. He took the news surprisingly well and told me that he was thinking about quitting anyway and didn’t want to lose a chance at something serious with me because of something he shouldn’t be doing anyway. I was and still am extremely skeptical, but we continued to date casually and take things very slow. Now our relationship is starting to progress into something more serious and I’m getting more paranoid. I can’t help but feel that he is still smoking pot when I’m not around even though he has given me absolutely no reason to feel this way. I’m starting to feel like I’m waiting for him or one of his friends to slip up rather than just trusting him and enjoying our relationship. Should I express my feelings about this to him or should I just trust him and wait it out? — Weed Killer

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’ve Fallen Out Of Love With My Deployed Boyfriend”

I have been dating the same guy for almost two years now and he joined the Marines literally like a week into our relationship. I barely see him and he is currently deployed. I did think I was in love with him but since he’s been gone my feelings have gotten more and more weak and I talked to my friends and family about what I should do but they all say it would be horrible of me to end our relationship while he is gone, especially because he lent me his car while he is away. But I can’t help feeling myself drifting further and further away from him and just wanting to be able to go out and be a teenager. What do I do!? — Military Girlfriend

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Do I Need To Go Wild And Crazy Before Settling Down?”

It’s time again for “Shortcuts.” For every question, I’ll give my advice in three sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss whether or not one needs to be wild and crazy before settling down, dealing with a boyfriend’s bad communication style, and what to do when a fiancé ups and moves with no notice. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Brought His Mom To Our First Date”

I have been dating this 44-year-old guy — who still lives with his parents, I might add — since the middle of August. He is kind-hearted and has a good soul. On our first date he asked me to meet him at a mall I’d never been to, and it wasn’t even a halfway point between us. He brought his mother was with him because she needed to go to the mall for some things and she doesn’t drive. Anyway, in the four-and-a-half months I’ve been with this man, I’ve been doing all the driving down to his place because he claims he has a phobia about going to new places. Once I drive there, we go out and do things around where he lives at places he’s familiar with. He gives me gas money once in a while because I’m a single mom and can barely afford all the gas to drive the 20 miles each way to his place. I’ve told him that maybe he needs to speak to someone about his phobia. Also, once I’m at his parents’ place, he wants me to go up to his bedroom. I don’t know what to do other than to give him an ultimatum that I will not come down to his place until he decides to come to mine? — Designated Driver

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Forgotten Birthday Girl” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Forgotten Birthday Girl,” who was anxious that her boyfriend may not get her anything for Christmas just as he had “forgotten” her birthday months before, and wondered whether she should get something for him for the holidays. After the jump, find out if they’re still together and whether either of them got gifts from each other this Christmas. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I Crashed At My Friend’s Pad For 5 Months And Now She Won’t Talk To Me”

For the last five months I lived with a good friend and her boyfriend while I finished school. They were kind enough to let me crash with them and I’m so thankful they did. However, now that I’m moved out I feel like our friendship is over. I’ve heard through mutual friends that she complained about me being messy, ignoring her, and being awful to live with. She would routinely send me tweets and Facebook messages detailing the various things I did that annoyed her (i.e., snore, nap, have a glass in my room). The thing is, I was always clean. I VERY rarely left a dish unwashed, I cleaned the bathroom, emptied the dishwasher … I’m just at a loss as to why she would stop talking to me. I did really stick to myself while I lived there and didn’t hang out with her and her boyfriend. I didn’t want to invade their space but she never made me feel anything other than it was best to stay away from them. So I did. I’m at the point now where I’ve been evaluating our whole friendship and she really hasn’t been a great friend over the years. But I’m still bothered that somehow she has completely stopped talking to me. Should I contact her to find out why? Or should I just let this die and get over it? We have lots of mutual friends so I don’t want things to be awkward if we no longer talk. I just don’t know where to go from here. — Baffled

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I Don’t Like My Boyfriend’s Christmas Gift”

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other about a year now. For Christmas he gave me a beautiful pearl necklace, which I appreciated very much; I understand the effort that he put in to picking it out for me. My birthday is coming up soon and he mentioned getting me a different color pearl necklace. I don’t want to seem like I’m not grateful, because I am, but I never wear jewelry and am not really a fan of pearls. Is there any way that I can hint to him that I don’t want him to buy me pearls (or really any jewelry for that matter) without hurting his feelings? I feel bad that he is spending so much money on something that I really don’t like or need. I plan on wearing this necklace to make sure he knows I appreciate it. Should I just act like I like it and let him buy me another or is there some way I can let him know that pearls just aren’t my thing? — Present Tense

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Lost In Limbo” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Lost in Limbo,” who had been seeing a guy for two months who told her he “doesn’t really do the girlfriend thing” when she asked where they stood. “Where we are is fine for now, since we’ve only been seeing each other for two months,” she wrote, “but I’m worried that he won’t want to make me his girlfriend ever.” After the jump, find out where things stand now — whether she’s single, still in limbo, or if her dude stepped up. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy’s Favorite Posts Of 2010

While there are still a few days left in 2010, we’re going to feature some of our best and favorite posts from the last year. Each of your regular Frisky bloggers has picked out her 10 favorite posts from 2010—some you may remember well, others might have slipped past your radar. Either way, we hope you’ll relive the best of The Frisky in 2010. Here’s the best of Dear Wendy! Keep reading »

  • Zergnet: Simply Irresistible

  • HowAboutWe

  • Popular