Tag Archives: dear wendy

Dear Wendy: “My BFF Is In A Controlling Relationship”

Wendy is on vacation, so we’ll be posting some of her more popular past Dear Wendy columns (that some of you may have missed!) to get you through the week.

A year ago my best friend “Erin” fell MAJORLY in love over a long distance relationship with someone in Europe and this summer she moved there to be with her girlfriend. The girlfriend is still in school in another country, though, so Erin lives in her girlfriend’s hometown and they’ve only seen each other on vacations. I’m happy Erin is happy, of course, but the stuff she tells me about how her girlfriend, whom I’ve never met, for the record, treats her frightens me. She’s apparently pretty jealous and gets upset when Erin hangs out with other lesbians. She also has access to Erin’s Facebook page and email account, which means she can read all her messages. I told Erin it sounds controlling, especially since I send her emails about stuff in my personal life that I don’t necessarily want her girlfriend to read. Erin got really defensive and insists the email-reading doesn’t bother her because she has nothing to hide. I said it bothered me, though, because she shouldn’t have someone snooping through her private emails. Erin got frustrated with me, said she’s got “bigger things to worry about,” and completely changed the subject. I’m worried because Erin moved to Europe to be closer to her girlfriend and now she’s a little bit isolated from her friends and family. If this girlfriend continues to do these weirdly controlling things, I’m afraid we’re not going to know or be able to do anything about it. What more can I do? What more can I say? — Hates Snooping

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Dear Wendy: “I Found A Pic Of A Penis On My Boyfriend’s Phone”

Wendy is on vacation, so we’ll be posting some of her more popular past Dear Wendy columns (that some of you may have missed!) to get you through the week.

I have been with my boyfriend for almost three years now. He is 24 years older than me and naturally we have our up days and down days. On Saturday night while he was asleep I went onto his cell phone and found a picture of another man’s penis on his phone. I am not allowed on his phone without asking him first and didn’t know how to confront him about this pic. So on Sunday morning I asked him if I could resend an SMS to my phone and “mistakingly” went into his pics. But before I could see it he deleted it. I asked him what it was and he said a car. I told him he was lying and I know what I saw, he just said, “Why would I have a pic of another man’s penis on my cell?” Now I’m totally confused and worried at the same time. What do I make of this and how do I handle the situation? By the way, I sent a copy of that pic to my phone as evidence. — Worried Snoop

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Dear Wendy: “I’ve Got The Hots For My Girlfriend’s Friends”

Wendy is on vacation, so we’ll be posting some of her more popular past Dear Wendy columns (that some of you may have missed!) to get you through the week.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year. I love her, for so many reasons, and she’s very attractive (intellectually and physically). For the first six months of dating, I couldn’t think of anybody but her, and if I did start to think of anyone else, I just shut that part of me down. As soon as the six-month mark hit, though, I found myself attracted to other girls. It wasn’t just physical attraction — I’m a guy, I imagine every attractive woman I see bouncing on the end of my d**k — but the kind of attraction that, were I not with my girlfriend, would make me try to pick these girls up. And I don’t know if it bothered me because I didn’t want to be attracted to anybody but her, or if I was bothered by the fact that I wanted to flirt with these other girls — almost all of whom are part of my girlfriend’s social circle. Well, I told my girlfriend and at first she reassured me that it was normal for people to be attracted to others, even if they’re in relationships (though she’s never told me about anyone she was attracted to; what’s up with that?). But now, a year into our relationship, she’s turned a bit into that “crazy/jealous girlfriend” stereotype. At social gatherings, I can’t help but want to be around these other girls, and my girlfriend glares at me occasionally, or joins in our conversations (not rudely, but she is there). I’m open and honest with her, and tell her who I like and why. And now she just cries. What am I supposed to do? Lie? —Horn Dog

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Dear Wendy: Mega Shortcuts Weekend, Vol. II

This weekend is an all “Shortcuts” weekend for Dear Wendy. For every question, I’ll give my advice in two sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss pet peeves, bad one-night stands, lying boyfriends, and sacrificing emotional health for a kitchen appliance. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: Mega Shortcuts Weekend, Vol. I

This weekend is an all “Shortcuts” weekend for Dear Wendy. For every question, I’ll give my advice in two sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss summer flings, internet relationships vs. IRL relationships, crushes on customers, and being jealous of a partner’s success. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I Got Hot And My Boyfriend Isn’t Happy About It”

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little under two years. About eight months ago, I’d gained some weight, so I decided to get off my butt and start getting back into shape. Before, my boyfriend and I were both cute but decidedly chubby. Since then, I’ve lost about 30 lbs, my awkward hair grew out, and my skin has cleared up. I’ve always been very busty and didn’t lose any of it, and through sheer luck, I ended up with a “Joan Holloway”-type figure. For the first time in my life, I feel really confident and love my body, and it’s the first time I fit what’s considered attractive by society. My boyfriend, though, has become very insecure. He’s just as sexy and wonderful as the day I met him, but he seems to be obsessed with the thought of me leaving him for someone “hotter.” He constantly worries that people wonder why I’m with him. On top of that, I’ve started getting a lot of unsolicited male attention — not just the typical cat callers, but being checked out, smiled/waved at, etc, which makes my boyfriend sad and mopey. He worries about how visible my cleavage is, and discouraged me from buying a bikini, even though it was a modest vintage style one. Normally, this kind of behavior would earn him a breakup, but he’s never shown any questionable behavior in the past, and our sex life is as awesome as ever. Should I chalk it up to insecurity and give him a chance to get over it, while encouraging him and reminding him how much I want to be with him, or is this a dealbreaker? — Hotter Now

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