Tag Archives: dear wendy

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Has Erectile Dysfunction”

I’ve been dating this guy for the past six months and he’s been experiencing some problems with erectile dysfunction ever since we started having sex, about two months ago. He’s in his mid-20s and obviously not the target demographic, so it’s hit him very hard and really damaged his self-confidence. He’s been to the doctor and has an appointment with a specialist in a couple of weeks. I’ve really tried to be supportive and understanding about the whole thing, but the nature of our relationship has changed. We still have sexual contact, even if he doesn’t necessarily get off or get hard. We work part-time together and when I see him at work, he’s very attentive, but the problem is he rarely contacts me anymore outside of work and when he does he says strange things like “I don’t deserve you,” or “I miss you,” but doesn’t ask to see me until I bring it up. We see each other once a week at most at the moment, but he used to want to see me all the time. I’m bloody confused about what to do. I’ve backed off quite a bit to give him some space but I don’t want to get hurt over this. — ED Doesn’t Spell END

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Dear Wendy: “Why Didn’t She Want To Be Close To Me?”

My last relationship ended badly and I’m looking for some clarity. All throughout our time together (on again, off again over a period of several years), she seemed impossible to get close to. Whenever we hung out at her place, she always kept her overprotective dog (who would growl whenever I got near her) close at hand and, when we’d go to my place … well, one night we’d be cuddling on the couch watching television just fine and the next I couldn’t get within three feet of her without her hopping up for a drink and settling back down across the room. It took quite a while for us to get physical and, once we did, she started making excuses and becoming distant. Finally, after confronting her about it, she threw it on me for being “too clingy” among other things that I just didn’t get, and we proceeded to never speak to each other again. Even after several months I’ve still got this nagging itch of confusion that just won’t let me go. I mean, was she just not ready for a relationship? Was I a rather lengthy trial run or safety boyfriend? Any thoughts? — Untouchable?

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Dear Wendy: “When Should I Tell Him I Have Feelings For Him?”

For the past few months, I’ve been developing a friendship with a guy named Kevin. I felt some kind of a connection with him from the beginning, and that has continued to grow the more we spend time together. I didn’t really put much thought into our connection, however, because he had a girlfriend he seemed pretty crazy about and I considered him off-limits. But that all changed when his girlfriend suddenly moved cross-country last weekend for family reasons, presumably for good. They are no longer technically together. As soon as she left, all the feelings that I had been trying to suppress hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized how much I like Kevin and how much I could see myself with him, even though I’d been trying to deny it when he was taken. Now he’s all I can think about, but he’s still distraught over his sudden break-up, and its a messy situation because they broke up for such circumstantial reasons. I know he feels something for me too, but the timing is so bad, and I feel like I can’t just wait when I can’t even stop thinking about him for more than two seconds in succession. Should I tell him my feelings now, wait for a while, or just forget it altogether? When will I know that it’s right, or that I should just give up? — Can’t Deny My Feelings

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Dear Wendy: “We’re Only Compatible In Bed”

It’s time again for “Shortcuts.” For every question, I’ll give my advice in two sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss when a couple is only compatible in bed, when to tell a new significant other you’re against premarital sex, and how to find out if your casual dating partner wants more. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Not A Chubby Chaser” Responds

Hey, are you someone I’ve given advice to in the past? Do you have an update on your situation you’re willing to share? Email me at {encode=”dearwendy@thefrisky.com” title=”dearwendy@thefrisky.com”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now. Today we hear a “Shortcuts” update from “Not a Chubby Chaser,” whose sweet and confident boyfriend was “wonderful in almost every aspect,” except that he was “full-on overweight.” She asked, “How do I tell him, ‘You’re great, but I won’t date you because I’m not sexually attracted to you, Fatty. Lose some weight and I’ll do you!’ but in a waaaay nicer way?” I responded: “If he’s as sweet, considerate, fun, and ‘super confident’ as you say, he won’t have any problem finding a woman who loves him as he is, extra pounds and all.” So, did she decide to let him go and let some other girl have a shot with him? Did she tell him to drop the extra pounds? Are they still together? Find out after the jump. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Cheated On Me Without Protection”

About two months ago, I left my 39-year-old live-in boyfriend of three and half years. When I left, I was pissed and hurt that, for four months, I spent all my spare time helping him get ready to open his bar, and then, once it opened, he was out at all hours, drinking, hanging with customers and not letting me know when he’d be home or what his plans were. I am 31 and we both want to have kids soon (marriage isn’t an issue) and this behavior had been going on for three months when I left. I understood that the bar-ownership meant late nights, but I wasn’t OK with him coming home at 4 AM half-drunk every morning without so much as a text the night before. Anyway, the night I left, I told him why I was leaving and asked him to give me some time. I came back 5 days later having made the decision to work things out. But three weeks later, I found out he had sex with some bar chick on the floor of the bar office THE NIGHT I left. Now, I understand that I left and (in his mind, anyway) he had free reign; I can get over the fact that he f**ked some other girl. What I can’t get over is that he didn’t use a condom, didn’t tell me and then had sex with me after I came back. I have gotten the full battery of tests and I’m negative, but that’s not the point. My issue is that he deceived me in such way that it put my health at risk. We’re still together two months after the fact. But … am I crazy for not being out of my mind with anger that he screwed some random chick after I left? Am I crazier that my real issue is that he put my health at risk? How do you rebuild trust after something like this? — Illogical Scientist

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