Tag Archives: dear wendy

Dear Wendy Updates: “Weight Issues” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Weighty Issues,” whose long-distance boyfriend told her that while she had a pretty face, her weight had started bothering him. “I have dropped some weight since I’ve first known him,” she wrote, “and currently wear S-M shirts, US size 8 in pants.” She went on to say: “I sometimes want to end the relationship because of this and because he doesn’t seem to be as attached as I am, but a part of me wants to see what happens next year.” Well, it’s now “next year,” so after the jump, find out what she decided to do. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Should I Warn My Friend About His Cheating Ex?”

I found out recently that my friend “Samanatha” cheated on her ex-boyfriend “Brad” when they were still dating. When I asked Samantha about it, she immediately denied it, but I’ve known her long enough to tell she was lying. Plus, the guy she slept with has absolutely no reason to lie to me about it. She and Brad are now broken up, but when he’s in town he stays at her place and they sleep together. She’s cheated on him in the past with a different guy and Brad forgave her. It was one of those things that’s understandable (while totally not right) because Samantha’s mom told her that if she wasn’t engaged she could have more than one boyfriend. It’s common knowledge that Samantha is completely hung up on Brad still and will take any chance to get back together with him. We’re talking saying things like “I’ll wear him down one day and we’ll just get married.” Brad is a really nice but passive guy. Plus, he doesn’t want to lose the guaranteed sex. The chance of them getting back together is fairly high, so I’m wondering if I should tell Brad now about the cheating, wait to see if they get back together, or just keep quiet? Brad is like a brother to me and I don’t like seeing him get hurt over and over again. — Trying Not to Meddle

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Dear Wendy Updates: “Excited But Lost” Responds (Again)

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Excited But Lost,” who we first heard from last August when she was eager to start dating after being diagnosed bipolar a year and a half earlier and working on managing her disorder and getting her life on track. She updated us with some not-so-good news in November, but has a new update for us now with much better news, after the jump. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’m Tired Of Always Feeling Used By Guys”

I am a 21-year-old female college senior who has been physically involved with a guy for about three months. In the beginning, he told me how he thought I was “girlfriend material” and made it seem like he wanted to pursue a relationship, but after a few weeks, it became clear to me that all he wanted from me was sex. I allowed this arrangement to continue, because with my busy class and work schedule, I don’t really have much time for a relationship either. All of a sudden, over the past couple of days, he has completely ignored me, started posting things on Facebook about having had an “epiphany” and realizing what the “true meaning of love is.” I texted him saying that it was OK if he had met someone new or if he just did not want to sleep with me anymore, but that I would have liked to have been made aware of this (reasonable, no?). But alas, he has not responded. I truly am happy for him if he has found someone new, because there really is no future for us, but I feel disrespected. I am also in the place I always find myself after something like this happens: depressed, lonely, and my self-esteem is crushed. Do you have any advice for me as to how I can deal with this kind of situation in the future so that I don’t feel so used? — Used up

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Dear Wendy Updates: “Conflicted About Moving” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Conflicted About Moving,” whose boyfriend dumped her after she quit her job to move with him. Luckily, she was able to get her job back, but her boyfriend reunited with her and asked her to quit her job again to move for her. “He’s suggesting I leave a resignation letter the day of and never return, but that’s just not my style.” she wrote. “Is it fair to quit my job twice within a week’s time? What would you do?” I told her to dump the guy of course, and after the jump, you’ll find out whether she followed my advice and how she’s doing now. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’m Not Sure I Want To Marry My Fiancé”

I’m 22 years old and my fiancé is 25. We are supposed to get married this October, but I’m having second thoughts. We’ve been together for over five years and were neighbors growing up. We both dropped out of college, but I have always held down a full-time job, whereas he got laid off and spent a whole year unemployed. I feel like I have a lot of resentment towards him because he had no excuse to not find a job. He didn’t have the ‘drive’ or ‘ambition’ that I wanted him to have. Since last June, he’s been a truck driver, a job that requires him to be gone sometimes a week at a time or longer with only one or two days home. Also, he still lives at home, and the thought of him being so dependent on his parents bothers me. A little over two years ago, he was really wanting to get married, but I kept telling him I wanted to wait until I was at least 21 so I could legally drink at our wedding. I think I was just making an excuse. He proposed after I turned 21, and some days I’m so happy to be engaged to him and some days I’m not. In addition to our other issues, our sex life is not okay. He always wants to have sex and I hardly ever do. I don’t really know why I don’t because he isn’t bad, but I just feel like I’m not attracted to him anymore. He is the only relationship I have ever been in and I don’t want to lose him but I don’t want to ‘settle’ either. I want to talk to him about it but I don’t want to hurt him. I guess now that we’re paying down payments for venues, buying a wedding gown and setting up classes with my pastor, getting married is hitting me. I don’t want to be a divorce statistic. — Cold Feet

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