Tag Archives: dear wendy

Dear Wendy Updates: “Bated Breath” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Bated Breath” who wondered if she should wait for her long distance boyfriend of four months to say “I love you” or say it to him first. After the jump, find out what she decided to do and if she’s happy with the decision she made. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Have I Been Permanently Friend-Zoned?”

I’m a college student in love with my best friend. I see “James” every day, usually for several hours at a time (sometimes alone, sometimes in groups), and we text constantly. He’s cute, funny, smart, attentive, interesting: everything I want in a guy … and obviously he likes me on some level, or we wouldn’t be this close. But nothing’s ever happened between us! Summer’s coming up; we live in different parts of the country, and next semester we’re both studying abroad in European cities — close enough to visit occasionally, but definitely less than we’re used to. I feel like time’s running out. I’ve already amped up the flirting and touchiness but nothing’s changed. All this drama (or lack thereof) is steadily and annoyingly chipping away at my self-esteem. Do I tell him how I feel before the semester ends and risk alienating him and making things awkward? Or do I just MOA and accept that I’m permanently friend-zoned? — More than Friends?

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Dear Wendy Updates: “Depressed and Unsure” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Depressed and Unsure,” who, much to her boyfriend’s chagrin, had befriended her BFF’s ex (and boyfriend’s friend) after the broke up. “We both share long-time struggles with chronic depression, and the outlet we’ve found in each other has helped us both immensely. Unfortunately, my boyfriend has taken issue with this new-found friendship.” Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend’s Friends Act Like I Don’t Exist”

My boyfriend is awesome, supportive, and ultimately even more of a feminist than I am. The problem is that I can’t help but feel like I get treated differently (by others) for being the woman in the relationship. Most of the men we mutually know treat me as if I don’t exist when they’re around my boyfriend and me. For example, my boyfriend and I used to throw house shows for local bands, many of whom we are friends with. Frequently, I would plan these shows on my own, and personally direct correspondence with the bands. As soon as they arrived to our house, though, they would direct all of their questions to my boyfriend instead of me, even though they knew I was the one who planned it. Another instance is one of our male roommates, who will speak to me one-on-one, but as soon as the three of us are together, he will not address me, and I’m given a strange look and am immediately brushed off if I try to contribute anything. I don’t feel as if I’ve done anything to make these men see me as incompetent, and my boyfriend and I certainly don’t advertise him as “the boss” or something. It’s starting to kill my self-esteem and causing me to resent my relationship. Could I possibly be doing something wrong that causes men to treat me this way, or is this really just a hazard of being “the girlfriend”? Is there anything I can do to change things? — Hear Me Roar

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Dear Wendy Updates: “Grossed Out” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Grossed Out,” who was grossed out by her boyfriend not washing his hands after using the bathroom, and leaving evidence of nosebleeds in the shower. After the jump, find out whether she talked with her boyfriend and if situation has improved. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Should I Lose My Virginity To The Next Guy Just To Get it Over With?”

I am nearly 20 years old, and I’ve had little experience with the opposite sex. I mean, I’ve hooked up with guys, and I’ve dated a couple of guys for a short period of time, but they ended up breaking it off after about a month. I am quite attractive and have been told so by many people so I have no problem attracting guys to me initially. It’s just keeping them interested that’s the problem. Because of this I am still a virgin. I really want to do it, but I don’t want to have sex with a guy I’ve only known a month because to me sex is something you do with someone you care about, and who cares about you. I have a lot of ideas of why I can’t keep a relationship. I’m pretty insecure (I was bullied a lot when I was younger, and abandoned by friends). I also don’t play hard to get with guys, and I probably spend too much time with them while I’m dating them. I feel like the guys who come after me, come after me mainly for my looks, and then when they get to know me a bit, they suddenly lose interest. They say that I’m a “great girl,” but they are “too busy.” If I were so great, wouldn’t they make time for me? I’m honestly considering just having sex with a guy within the first few weeks before he decides to dump me so at least I’m not a virgin forever. I think that increasing my confidence and not needing the next guy who comes along might help, but what if it doesn’t? I don’t want to end up alone. — Tired of Being a Virgin

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